Knowing When To Say When
My son is six weeks old now. He’s still a little baby, but the traces of his “newborn-ness” are fading rapidly. Sure, his head still wobbles whenever he tries to lift it up, but he also has moments of control where it looks like he’s months older than he actually is. He still stares off into space most of the time, but he also has moments of clarity where he’ll look one of us in the eye.
I say all this because my wife and I have already started talking, admittedly prematurely, and not in any great deal of earnest, about whether or not we’re “done”.
We have a girl (an amazing, beautiful, wonderfully bright little girl) and a boy (a strong and healthy baby boy). Do we really need another child? Is it about need, or is it about want? Or is it about the financial implications of having a third? Or is it about whether or not my wife can endure another pregnancy, another c-section, another recovery?
For us, we are fortunate enough to be in a financial situation where, while we are nowhere near anyone’s definition of wealthy, we are not living paycheck to paycheck either, and therefore could afford a third child. And as for wanting or needing, well, let’s just say that both of us (as well as our daughter) are “baby hogs”, so that’s not the issue.
What it boils down to for us is the toll (both physical and emotional) it takes, especially on my wife, but also on the family as a whole. We’re nowhere near ready to make a final decision, but we have started to talk.
What made you (or will make you) decide that you are done having children? Is it number? Gender? Finances? I would love to know reader’s thoughts on the matter.
You can read more SciFi Dad at Tales From The Dad Side.