How To Handle Unwanted Advice?
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“Don’t feed her solids yet, she’s too young!”
“She should have shoes on when she goes out.”
“Stop touching her cheeks and she’ll stop drooling.”
“You should supplement with formula, it doesn’t look like you have enough milk.”
Some of this advice comes from well-meaning friends. Some of them come from meddling relatives. What do all these phrases have in common? They are unsolicited, and often unwanted advice. I am now living with my mom, and believe me, there’s a never-ending list of mother’s knows best advice streaming from her. The thing is, she may be my mother, but she is not my baby’s mother.
It’s a little hard for her to make that distinction 
. When our family lived on our own, advice from anyone was like water off a duck’s back. We went home and did exactly what we wanted with regards to raising our daughter. Now, it’s a slightly different story, and I find myself having to inhale and exhale a few times to keep my calm daily.
I know that this is just a temporary situation, but what is YOUR approach with unwanted advice from persistent relatives? Do you have a tried and true phrase to use? Do you smile and say nothing? Do you ignore them? Do you grit your teeth and tell them to mind their own business? Right now, my approach is to be silent, and when my mom is turned, to do exactly what I like. So far, so good. To be fair, my mother is not that bad of a meddler. But for one used to doing exactly as she pleased before, this is proving a challenge.
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Breezychas says...
I find that I have always done the same, just replied with a oh really, or a smile and the nod of the head…so far it’s annoyed me…but it’s worked at just getting through it…then I do what I decide is best….and if asked about it..I just say it’s what worked with us…but all babies are different or something…Switzerlandish…
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analyse says...
depending on the advice, sometimes i just smile, then do what i want at home. when it touches my tradition/culture (like co-sleeping, breastfeeding, etc.), that stresses me out so i try to explain, in the end i still do what i want. it helps that my inlaws live far from where we live, lol.
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Science-mom says...
Indeed it does help when grandparents live far away
Otheriwse, my policy on unsolicited advice is listen, keep an open mind, but make your own decisions. We can learn from books, from others or from our own mistakes.
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