How To Ask Your Husband For Help With Your Newborn
There is an easy answer to this common problem, and that’s simply asking your husband to help you out with the baby. On the other hand, those of us who have already gone through the stage of having a newborn baby and being confused out of our minds do know that when it comes to being a new parent, things are seldom easy.
Sometimes new moms really want to portray the image of a mom who can do it all effortlessly. I know that I wrestled with asking for help when my first baby was born because my train of thought was that I should be able to handle a baby without a problem. After all, I grew her inside me without a problem, so why should it be difficult to deal with her? The truth was that I was exhausted and confused and way too proud to ask for any help. I know if I would have asked my husband for help, it would have happened.
So the question isn’t really how do I get my husband to help with our newborn but instead becomes what is the best way to ask my husband to help with our newborn? Although not all men are the same, there are indeed some tactics that you can use that may help you get a positive response from your husband:
Don’t be vague. Casually mentioning that you’re tired or declaring in a sing-song voice that someone needs to change the baby’s diaper isn’t direct enough. Instead try something along the lines of, “Will you please take the baby so I can take a nap?” or “Will you please change the baby’s diaper?” Conveying your needs clearly will save you an awful lot of potential arguments in the future.
Don’t be a taskmaster. Ask your husband to help you with the baby, but unless he asks for specific instructions you don’t want to load him down with lengthy directions. As moms we all like to think we’re the best at dealing with our babies, but that doesn’t mean we get to insist that everything is done exactly our way every single time. Let dad figure some things out on his own, and he’ll be a better father for it.
Don’t assume he can read your mind. You might think to yourself, “Certainly he knows how exhausted I am! Why isn’t he offering to help me?” while at the same time he’s wondering, “Will I offend her if I offer to take the baby for a while?” Don’t allow resentment to build up because the two of you are assuming that you each know what the other person is thinking.
Be reasonable. Hey, he’s tired too. He might be just as overwhelmed as you are, if not more so. Give the guy a break. You can’t insist that he does absolutely everything. Ask for help, but be willing to give help too.
You may be pleasantly surprised to find that your husband wants to help, but just isn’t sure what you need. He won’t know until you tell him.