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My first born is now five and a half years old, and she never ceases to amaze me with her brilliance. Okay, so that may sound like a bit of an exaggeration, but she is smart, social and creative, so it’s easy to go on and on about how proud I am of her.

First Born Baby Characteristics

She exhibits all the classic signs of a first born. She’s quick to take charge, she is assertive, and she excels when it comes to learning new things. So I suppose the question then becomes this: Is she this way because she was my first born child, and if so, is it a biological thing or is it because of all the extra attention she got from me in her first nineteen months of life until her brother was born?

I have a degree in psychology, so I’m reluctant to just shrug my shoulders and say, “she’s the way she is because that’s the way it goes with first borns.” I want to know why she is the way she is. That’s why my interest really perked up when I read an article written about whether so-called first born tendencies actually have any basis of scientific fact or if these tendencies are just myths passed on from parent to parent over the years.

The information was intriguing. Studies have been conducted to find out about the influence of a person’s birth order with regards to personality tendencies and eventual success as an adult. Apparently there are plenty of conflicting views when it comes to this particular topic. Here are some of the most interesting things from these studies:

First born children tend to have a higher IQ

First borns predominately have higher IQs than their younger siblings. This isn’t always the case because there are always exceptions to the rules, but in the majority of instances it’s the eldest sibling with the higher IQ.

Nature or Nurture? While some research suggests that a first born acquires their personality tendencies from a biological source (genetics, hormones in the mother’s womb that are then diluted for each subsequent baby, etc), other studies point to the environment in which the child is raised.

Do I have higher expectations for my first child?

Am I more critical of her than I am of him? Yes, I think I am, and I wonder if I sometimes expect less from my son at his age than I did of my daughter at the same age. In other words, while my daughter (the oldest) is always expected to be an example to my son, does my son (the youngest) merrily skate along under the umbrella of “Baby of the Family?”

I’m going to mull over all the research from the article and try to take a more critical look at how I view my kids. It’s not that I don’t want my daughter to be a leader and to be academically brilliant (can you say college scholarship?) but I don’t want her to be this way because I forced her into it. I want her to be who she wants to be, and the same goes for my son, regardless of what order they were born.

Read More

• My Son’s New “Little Sister”
• 3 kids in 11 years
• Same Parents, Different Kids
• My three sons: Adjusting to baby #3
• My Kids’ Personalities

Posted by Tamsen Butler on Sunday, July 12th, 2009 at 11:54 am and is filed under Parenting.
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Tags: academic ability, birth order, first born, leadership, nature vs nurture, personality research, siblings
Posted in: Parenting