Baby Likes Grandma More And It HURTS!
Our current living situation has my family living with my parents for the moment. It hasn’t been bad actually. My parents work different shifts from us and we often have the house to ourselves. Aside from a little annoyances here and there, understandable in close quarters, everything seems to be working out. Nothing can replace the peace of mind of having my mom taking care of my daughter when I’m off to school (second degree), and the joy of seeing her grandparents dote on her.
I go to school partly on campus, and partly online, so my daughter pretty much spends the weekdays evenly between my mom and me. I even edge Grandma in time spent with Mina if you count the weekends. So, I’d figure, she should be equally attached to Grandma and me, right? RIGHT?
Well, she’s not. She likes my mom more. And honestly, it HURTS! I know I should be grateful that she’s being cared for by someone who obviously loves and cares for her, and who she loves in return, but that’s hard to remember when:
- She practically tries to jump out of my arms when my mom comes into the room
- Cries inconsolably when my mom leaves the room
- Refuses to come to me when I try to take her from my mom
- Practically ignores me when I come into the room but lights up when my mom does
I don’t even know what I’m doing wrong. I try my best not to give her any indication that this upsets me, but deep down, I’m crushed. I have read up on this to see if other moms have experienced the same thing, and thankfully, I don’t seem to be the only one out there. However, I would like advice. I know it’s not my Mom’s fault, and I want Mina to love and like her Grandma. But I’d like an equal opportunity relationship with her, if you know what I mean. What, if anything, should I do differently? Should I just let it go and hope she passes through the phase soon? Should I bribe her with treats so she associates those with me? Should I make sure she spends all weekends with me and not spend anytime with her Grandma? That sounds a bit harsh to me, but I’d love to hear if any of you are able to give words of advice and wisdom.
In the meantime, I’ll continue to be grateful that my she has a special relationship with my mom, and try not to get jealous.
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Science-mom says...
Aww, T. Hugs.
My mom-in-law was visiting last weekend so I know how you feel.
I guess little kids will always have this special relationship with grandparents – esp grandma. I didn’t experience this as a child because my grandparents passed away before I was born. But I see that in my kids.
They say the relationship depends on distance and frequency of contact and will change as kids age. Perhapy give Mina some time, till the novelty of Grandma wears off.