An Olympic-Sized Competition
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All this coverage of the Olympics lately has got me thinking about how parents handle the delicate balance of teaching our children how to be competitive. I’m not talking about the massively competitive spirit that is needed in order to reach Olympic status, but instead the everyday competition that we encounter every day as parents of young children.
The first time I really realized how much competition is involved in parenting was when I was sitting in a Gymboree class with my daughter. She was so young that she wasn’t even sitting up on her own yet, just like every other baby in the class. In walks another mom who regularly attended the class. She plops her daughter on the mats and her daughter sat up on her own. The rest of us stared in amazement, congratulated the mom on the baby’s amazing achievement, and then went on with the class.
Here is the thing: I’m pretty sure that every single one of us went home that day and tried to practice sitting up with our babies because the next week there were a few more babies with this amazing new talent, and every one of the moms were beaming as though their children had just graduated valedictorian from Harvard.
I know all babies develop at their own rate, so there is no telling if all the babies who could suddenly sit up on their own were able to do so just because it was their time, or if it was because their moms had worked with them on it. The point of the matter is this: Some of the fiercest competitions happen far from the Olympics. They happen in the playgrounds, at play areas, and at playgroups. Any time you get more than one mom in a room you might as well get the podium and medals ready because there’s going to be a competition.
I try not to compete with other parents with regards to which baby is talking and which toddler is potty training, but it’s tough. I think as parents we innately want to put our kids up on a pedestal, so it’s an urge that we have to keep reigned in lest we appear obnoxious.
On the other hand, I would like to go on record as promising that if either of my kids someday goes on to an Olympic competition I’ll be right there in the stands, screaming “That’s my baby!” as loud as humanly possible.
Kimberly says...
I know what you mean about competitive parents, but I think I’m just the opposite. Before I had my son, my friends teased me about my baby slogan, “I want my kids to be as dumb as possible for as long as possible.” I say it because it always incites a reaction, but what I mean by it is that I want to raise my son in a more old-fashioned way. When he’s a little boy I want him to know how to throw a baseball, but do not care at all if he can use my digital camera or play with my laptop. (I’d prefer he not do the those latter two at all.) I want him to be content playing with a stick and a rock in a mud puddle as my siblings and I did when we were kids. I want him to appreciate laying in the grass and looking up at the clouds, looking for interesting shapes or making up great stories. The uber-competitiveness of some moms in my neighborhood has made me greatly reduce the time I spend with them. I just want Henry to be a little boy. Though I don’t ignore working with him on things he needs, like tummy time and a lot of social interaction with his parents and others, I just don’t feel he needs to be groomed for Harvard just yet.
Good post! I wish I could anonymously email it to a few moms I know…