Advice Through the Ages
Each generation certainly has its own way of doing things. I’ve recently noticed that this especially applies to parenting – not only does everyone have their own way of doing things, but they seem to get tremendous joy out of handing out advice to others.
My parents’ generation (the Baby Boomers) seems to be all about the here and now. For example, when my daughter stopped sleeping through the night at just a few months of age, they suggested that we should start her on solids. They had given their own daughter rice cereal while she was still in the hospital after delivery. We explained that with food allergies in our family, we were holding off on starting solid foods until at least six months of age, and possibly later.
They are also decidedly anti-thumb. My son began sucking his thumb at around one week of age; my husband and I had mixed reactions. On the one hand, we had planned to not give him a pacifier unless it seemed like
he needed or wanted it, so he seemingly had decided for himself that he wanted something. On the other hand, we worried that once he did start with a pacifier (or, it seemed, his thumb), that we wouldn’t be able to break him of the habit and he would be in elementary school with a pacifier in his mouth. We’ve since relaxed and now think of it as a healthy way to self-soothe, and sometimes even encourage him to “find his thumb” when he is upset. Our parents’ generation, however, doesn’t seem to believe in self soothing by thumb sucking; every time they see him with his thumb in his mouth, they comment on how hard it will be to break the habit, and have even suggested putting pepper juice on it to make it taste bad.
While I’m sure they all mean well, this advice giving (especially unsolicited) can be annoying. However, when assured that we are doing the best for our kids based on our own research and gut instincts (not to mention our pediatrician’s recommendations), they do tend to back off. And once our kids have kids, we’ll probably do the exact same thing to them. I hope that they, too, will recognize that we mean well.
Melissa H says...
I lucked out in that respect… my mother is a pediatrics nurse and so is up on all of the new guidelines and such. My MIL is not however and offers a lot of unsolicited and I believe backwards advice… Luckily my husband and his mother do not have the best of relationships so I don’t have to listen to it very often. I usually just tune her out nod at the appropriate places and do what I feel is best for my babe! LOL
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artio.sd says...
“I usually just tune her out nod at the appropriate places and do what I feel is best for my babe”!–Melissa H
I thought I was the only one to do that, LOL.
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