Tug of love or Tug of war?
It is very sad when a child gets caught in a custody battle. Even much sadder when the fight becomes violent and turns into an international controversy. This is the sad fate of 3-year old Elise who was snatched by her Russian mother from her French father last week. The abduction occurred in Arles, France during which the father was severely beaten by two men who were with the mom. Sources say that the girl is now in Russia although Russian authorities did not confirm this.
In her short life, little Elise has been abducted 3 times by one parent or the other. A French court granted custody of Elise to the father Jean-Michel André. However, her mom Irina Belenkaya kidnapped Elise and took her to Russia because a Russian court granted her custody of the girl. Soon after, Elise was again abducted by her dad and taken back to France.
A French newspaper called the cause a “tug of love” but is this really what love is all about? It looks more like a tug of war to me. What is even worse, the French and the Russian authorities are at odds, each country defending each parent’s rights and actions depending on their citizenship. But what about the fate of the little girl? There is warrant of arrest for her mom in France and another one for her dad in Russia.
In the end, I think both parents acted irresponsibly and tearing the girl apart. After all, she is both French and Russian. And the authorities of both countries – how many times would Elise have to be kidnapped before they do something responsible to protect the girl’s rights? Her right to a secure childhood, her right to a life without abduction?
I really feel for this little girl. After all, my family is also bicultural and my kids are Eurasians. I and my husband do our best to make them proud of their European and Asian heritage. I really hope that little Elise will grown up to be proud of being part of 2 countries. And I hope that the 2 countries are worthy of her.
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