“It’s all good” and other lies teens tell
It’s perhaps one of the most annoying adolescent phrases of the last few years. A boy gets caught cheating on a test–”It’s all good, Miss,” he’ll say to his teacher when she’s upset. A girl busted for shoplifting tells her friends, “It’s all good,” when they ask about what happened.
But the truth is that it’s NOT all good. In fact, according to the Josephson Institute’s 2008 Report Card on the Ethics of American Youth, our kids are not good at all.
After surveying 30,000 students in private and public high schools across the U.S., researchers learned that our kids are not only more troubled than ever, but their consciences are clear about it.
“Not my kid” think most parents. Well, chances are–yes, it is your kid. And I hate to say it, but kids in the religious schools were in the bottom of the barrel. OK, so most of us have told little lies, things we can’t even remember. We try not to. But when it comes to important things, the kind of lie that you have to think about, most adults wouldn’t do it. But our kids would. In fact 83% of them (and that’s just the ones who will admit it) say that they have lied to their parents about something SIGNIFICANT! They even get a little cheeky about their dishonesty. 26% of them said they lied on at least one of the survey questions! Of course, the gender breakdown shows that boys are worse liars than girls, either that or they are more honest on surveys.
OK, so maybe you don’t think a lie now and then makes them a moral failure. Does cheating? 64% of American teens cheated at least once this year. But if you’re in the midwest, take heart–”only” 59% of your kids cheat. As a former high school teacher, I know that a huge number of kids don’t even consider some of their actions to be cheating. They’ll protest that a friend “helped” them with their homework, meaning they copied word-for-word the last five questions they didn’t finish. Sadly, the highest rate was among kids in private religious schools.
Here again, you may say, “Well, I cheated on a couple of tests, but I turned out fine.” But were you a thief? Now, let me be fair and say most kids are not admitting to stealing. But way too many of them are quite willing to admit their klepto tendencies. Overall, about 1 in 3 of them take things from relatives, friends–and stores.
But it’s all good. When asked how they feel about their own character, they feel pretty good about themselves. Especially when compared to the wretches they call friends. 77% said they are better than MOST of the people they know. But we’ve been telling them for years that they need to follow their own hearts and moral compasses, and not compare themselves to anyone else. That must be why 93% said they are satisfied with their personal ethics and character.
Just think, these are the leaders of tomorrow. I am not entirely surprised about the cheating thing, having been in the public schools for twelve years. But I was so disheartened by the results. I know it’s just one survey, but it was a huge sample. And this Institute has repeated this research, and the results are getting worse every time. I look at my precious baby girl and wonder what am I going to do to steer her away from what almost EVERYONE around her is doing?
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