I had a caesarean and guess who was cleaning me down there with a perinatal bottle or helping me in and out of the showers at the hospital. my husband! I warned him of how it would look beforehand and he just shrugged and said he’d witnessed a lot of cows giving birth growing up. lol!

Just because I am lucky enough to have the miracle of life, and can grow and carry a child, does not make my husband any less of a parent than I am. And denying him the ability to be present at the birth of his child(ren) is archaic and ridiculous.

Your comment on your role as an advocate could not be more correct, nor needed. After the birth of our first child my wife was put on Magnesium Sulfate because of pre-eclampsia. No one told her that she was considered an ICU patient(even though we were in a standard postpartum room), yet they would wake her ever 30 minutes for BP and temperature readings. If I had not asked what was going on, we would not have found out, as my wife was all but stoned on the Mag.

As a mother and a wife, I deeply appreciate the time in which we live as does my husband. Neither one of us think things would have been pleasant, much less as wonderful as they were, if he had not been allowed to be there with me through the whole thing. I am speaking for him a little bit here, but I am certain that we share the same view on this subject.

The mere thought that a husband will leave his wife over witnessing what happened to her girly parts (We call it the day my vajayjay had a blow out) is absolutely absurd. If a man would leave his wife over that, then he wasn’t married to her and the vows he took meant nothing. I have to laugh thinking that while the preacher was going through the vows what the husband heard was “I promise to love, honor, respect your privates as long as they look and feel like a teenagers”.

I am a very fortunate woman for having been blessed to be married to a man that when “differences” are noticed “down there” he smiles and thanks me for giving him our child. I know that there was a bit of shock for him by what he saw when our baby was delivered, but he knows it’s a fact of life and that sex and birth are the absolutely necessary part of becoming parents.

I say that we should ask our mothers and grandmothers what they think. THey all had very different birthing atmospheres than we have today. I think it is silly to just take the word of a Doctor who may find it to be distracting for him to have to deal with the fathers in the delivery room. Further, I feel that maybe years of witnessing birth blow-outs has taken the shine off of those organs for him, but that does not necessarily mean that all fathers feel that way after having witnessed it. Most I talked to in our family had a newfound respect for their wives for their power of birth. Perhaps the subsequent divorces have more to do with conflicting parenting styles or a baby was conceived in a failed attempt to save a marriage. I’m not sure where he would have gotten that data and arriced at that conclusion. I don’t think I have ever heard of “vaginal destruction” being one of those spots on the divorce forms. Maybe it’s just below Irreconciliable Differences.

KEEP DADS INVOLVED IN EVERY ASPECT!!!