Explaining Surgery to Your Baby or Toddler
My son has had surgery twice: Once when he was a baby and then again as a toddler. I’ve been through it two times with him alone because both times my husband stayed home with our daughter, so I know all about how tricky it can be to stay calm for your child’s sake while on the inside you’re screaming like a banshee.
I’ve read every bit of literature the doctors and hospitals have given me and have combined that with my own experience to offer this advice when it comes to preparing your Little One for surgery.
Keep in mind that my son has never had major surgery resulting in a bunch of severe pain, so I’m sure that’s a lot different. This advice is for parents taking kids in for ear tubes, adenoid removal, tonsil removal, and all that jazz.
For a baby: The process will be a bit of a blur for your baby, so the important thing is to stay by your baby’s side as much as possible and to stay calm. I brought my son’s favorite stuffed animal along and they let him take it into the operating room. Right before the nurses took him off to surgery I calmly told him that he was going to go with the nurses and go take a nap, and that I would be waiting right here for him when he was all done. I was true to my word: I was eagerly awaiting his return when they brought him back into the room.
Also, before you get yourself worked up picturing your child being dragged away from you kicking and screaming, know that they usually give the kiddos some medication to make them a little sleepy and a little more agreeable before the surgery. If your baby is going to protest it’s going to be a groggy protest at best.
If you are still nursing your baby then consider yourself lucky. My son came out of surgery and immediately latched on to my breast and was as happy as could be.
For a toddler: I waited until the night before the surgery to tell me son that he was going in to see the doctor in the morning. This worked for my son because if I tell him something is going to happen too far ahead of time he’ll worry about it until it happens, but your toddler may be different. As I tucked him in I told him that in the morning we were going to go have an adventure – just him and Mommy – and we would leave the house before the sun came up to go see the doctor. The next morning as we were driving to the hospital I told him that there would be interesting things to see at the hospital and also that he would take a special nap while the doctor helped his ear.
I made sure to stress that I would be there the whole time, and that the doctor only wanted to work on his ear and wouldn’t touch anything else. We brought his favorite toy again, and the whole time we were waiting for his turn to have surgery I pointed out all the interesting things we saw and how interesting this whole experience was.
Oh…and I made sure he knew how brave I thought he was.
When he returned to the room after the surgery I switched on his favorite television show and cuddled with him. He was pretty upset and really out of it, but eventually he fell asleep and woke up in a pretty good mood.
Which reminds me: Be sure to have the remote to the TV in hand’s reach otherwise you’ll wind up like me and have to watch Playhouse Disney while your child sleeps on you soundly.
The only thing worse than having surgery is having to deal with your child having surgery. I pray that we never have to go through it ever again, but I also hope that these tips can help if your child is scheduled to have surgery.
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