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Sleepovers and slumber parties: when is the right age?

Friday is my boys’ first sleepover ever (aside from sleeping at grandma’s) and they are are so excited they probably won’t be able to sleep tonight. Their preschool is organizing a circus Friday evening and a slumber party in the gym room afterwards. At age 5, this is a major milestone in my twin sons’ life. My husband and I are already checking out restaurants and film schedules. Friday night in town, here we come.

This brings to mind 2 friends who will have something to say about this.

K will probably say, “it’s about time.” K’s girl Hannah is 2 years older than my boys and has been sleeping over at her best friend Sophie’s place since she was 3. Two sets of couples who are good friends have daughters of about the same age. Once a month on a weekend night, Hannah will sleep over at Sophie’s place and vice versa. That means that once a month, each couple has a free night without parenting duties. In addition, once every 2 months, they pool their resources to hire a babysitter for the 2 girls and the 4 parents go out together. K suggested that I should do the same and find a family to share babysitting duties with. Unfortunately with twins, this arrangement wouldn’t easily work out for us.

Now, M will probably say my boys are too young for sleep overs. We were visiting her just a week ago and her 9-year-old daughter Lisa was on 5-day school trip and she (the mom) was pretty nervous. “Relax and enjoy it. Go somewhere with your husband“, I told her. But she was inconsolable. According to her, Lisa never goes on sleep overs. Whe she goes to slumber parties, she’s always picked up by her parents at midnight.

I noticed that my boys have been talking lately about sleeping at their classmate’s place. “D asked me to sleep at his place.” “Can I sleep with J, mom? (sic)” And my answer was always “Let’s wait till his/her mom calls.” In the same way, I bet my boys are always inviting their friends for sleep overs without consulting me. They still have to learn that nothing works (yet) without moms organizing things.

So what do you think? What age is a good age for sleep overs?


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