Can Social Services Deny You From Having a Family?
Not Bright Enough to Marry?
For 17-year old Kerry Robertson, what stands in her way to marriage and motherhood is her learning disabilities. Social workers already canceled her wedding to her 25-year old fiance Mark McDougall 2 days before the church ceremony. The Fife Council where Robertson lives feels that her learning disabilities render her incapable of understanding the institution of matrimony. Under such circumstances, according to Scottish Law, authorities have the right to refuse sanctioning a marriage. Her age is not a factor here because the minimum legal age for getting married is the UK is 16. Although some places require written consent from guardians of those under 18, this is not the case in Scotland where Robertson lives. Besides, Robertson’s guardian is her grandmother who doesn’t oppose the nuptials.
Not Bright Enough to be a Mother?
Robertson’s lack of mental capacity to comprehend marriage also extends to her understanding of motherhood, the authorities say. She won’t therefore be allowed to keep her baby boy after her delivery in January next year as she lacks the mental capacity to take of the baby. What about the father of the child? He, too, is not deemed eligible to keep the baby boy because he’s not legally married to Robertson in the first place.
Social Legislation Gone Awry?
To be fair, social legislations are in place to protect those who need protection. But how far should the authorities meddle in people’s affairs on the grounds of benevolence and protection?
In halting the marriage, the social services feel they are protecting Robertson from getting into something that she might do her more harm than good, something she might regret later. Well, tell that to millions of people who entered matrimony and got out again, many via messy divorces.
In taking away the baby from his mother, the social services feel they are protecting the baby. The baby will be placed in an institution and put up for adoption. Would the social institution prove to be a better alternative to a mother who wants and loves him?
What’s Social Services Have to Say?
The authorities say they cannot divulge all the details that made them reach their decisions for confidentiality reasons. However, according to a spokesperson, they try to “balance risk and welfare while supporting people at times of personal or family need.” Platitude or genuine concern?
What the Couple Has to Say
According to Robertson and her fiance, Robertson’s learning disabilities are “mild”. She can read and write and she is “loving and caring” and “enjoys being pregnant. They already named the unborn baby boy Ben.
Social Services Mean Well But…
We may never know everything about this affair or hear what the full truth from both sides. But we know for sure that this isn’t the first time nor last time that social services or child protection authorities interfere with people’s lives for the “right” reasons. In most cases they succeed. Think about how many children are rescued from their abusive parents each year. But in some cases they fail.
Take the following cases:
- A teenager who committed sexual offenses was placed by social services in a foster family in Wales who wasn’t informed of his personal history. He sexually abused the family’s two young children. In protecting the teenage boy, social services failed to protect the foster family.
- In the US, a 5-year old girl and her younger sister were taken away from their birth mother and placed in a foster family. The 5-year old was found dead in the foster family’s cellar. She was restrained in a high chair with duct tape and died of asphyxiation. The foster mother was a respected case worker at Maine Department of Human Services.
- More painful is the plight of Australia’s stolen generation wherein aborigine children were taken away from their parents to be raised in a “civilized” way.
Do you think social services have the right to stop Robertson’s marriage?
To take away the baby from parents who want him?
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Mrs E Capell says...
Thankyou for putting into words what all right-minded people must be thinking. How on earth can such actions be legal let alone moral? To denigh the young woman the right to prove herself puts the local authority on a par with the Nazis! In preventing the couples wedding the authority showed themselves as devious & wicked – They are determined to denign Ben’s father his rights as well as those of his mother. In a society where children are routinely left with heroin or alcohol addictted parent(s) to take a baby from both his parents with no noted vices stikes me as obsene. Shame on you Fife!
I have children with low level learning difficulties. I hope that in time they will find their way in the world, find a life partner and have a family (if that’s what they want) The thought that their human rights could be so totally violated as this young couples appears to be leaves me cold.
Is this Social Services answer to the disasters of the past? Snatch children from anyone who fails to meet their personal (bigotted) levels of parental perfection? God help us all.
Melissa H says...
I guess it is hard to make a full determination due to not having all of the details… and we may never have them, but this sounds highly unfair. This young lady is then never to have a family and a life because the authorities don’t think she can handle it. What is worse is that there is a young man who is willing to help her to try to make it work. It sounds as if he is aware of her issues. Truly this sounds like a mishandling of authority to me, and a real shame.
Just Me says...
Well said Mrs E
Rohan says...
The idea that someone else can deny us of our rights always evokes an emotional response, as it clearly has done for Mrs E Capell. But this issue is a complex one. Is Mrs Capell suggesting that every one, regardless of their mental capacity, should be allowed to enter into marriage? If not, where along the scale of mental capacity do you draw the line? Where there is a line there will always be argument, and Government is always being asked to draw lines.
My grandfather, suffering from dementia, signed over his Power of Attorney to a stranger in the pub. While the two situations are very different, I think it illustrates the role that Governments need to play in these types of situations.
I hope the Fife Council made this decision with careful consideration and good reason. But I don’t think I can disagree with it on moral grounds without knowing the details.
Also, comparing modern Social Services to the clearly abhorrent practice of ‘civilising’ indigenous populations in any way is like comparing medicinal practices from the same era to today’s. A bit daft.
erika says...
that is just ridiculous. why in the world is the government like that? why dont they just leave the country? i think that in cases like this we take advantage of the freedoms we have and should be grateful out country aint like that