When premature babies grow up
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Is there no end to the disadvantages of being a preemie? I am a scientist and I believe in science. But the scientific findings that point towards future problems for babies born premature are just so overwhelming that they can break a mother’s heart.
First, there are the health problems - from respiratory distress to autism to short life expectancy - that can affect their physical and cognitive development. And now it’s their social skills.
A USA today article reviews several studies that investigated how being born pre-term can affect a person’s personality. And here - brace yourself - are the bad news:
- The more premature is an individual as a baby, the less likely he/she is to marry, become a parent or earn a high salary
- Ex-preemies are less likely to leave home, live together with a partner, or have an active sexual life
- Ex-preemies are more likely to be inhibited, less adventurous, and would tend to follow social conventions.
According to one of the researchers, these studies suggest that people born prematurely can have “a spectrum of social and emotional difficulties that range in severity from quite mild to severe.”
I have two little boys who were born 5 weeks early. And these studies tell me that my boys are most likely to grow up as sexually-repressed social misfits. Is it any consolation that they are also most unlikely to get divorced, be unemployed or get arrested?
Should I simply believe these scientific findings, give up and just leave my boys’ life to destiny? Or should I and their Dad believe in them and give them all the chances of proving these predictions wrong?
I think every parent’s heart knows the answer.
Kimberly says...
I wonder if studies like this have their findings thrown off because some premies are born early in communities, cities or states where there are lower education rates, less pre-natal health care and other problems of lower socio-economic or economically depressed areas. I would think those premies face problems later in life due to the whole host of challenges they face growing up in the environment they are in.
I agree with you. Your heart knows the answer to your own children’s situation and I imagine they will thrive for their lifetimes on the love, care and attention they receive.
Dawn Allcot says...
I agree Kimberly (about premature children with other “risk” factors, too).
I also wonder if the study determined if the reasons are genetic or environment? Science-mom, I’m not saying you do this, but I do know a handful of parents of premature babies who became much more protective of their children as they grew up. (I would imagine it comes from *having* to be more protective, and worried about them, early on). I imagine over-protected children could grow up lacking confidence and may not be as willing to “leave the nest.”) Of course, premature babies need extra care and, even as they grow up, they may face additional physical challenges that require greater attention from the parents.
Science-mom, I believe we should never “leave things up to destiny,” and especially not to abandon hope because of a scientific study.
Don’t let the study get you down… you and your husband and sons definitely have an opportunity to “beat the statistics.” 
Science-mom says...
Thanks, Kimberly, thanks, Dawn. I know what you mean about being overprotective and I am far from it. In fact, because I have twins, I worry less than moms of singletons because my boys watch out for each other. Physically and developmentally, you’d never know they are preemies. They’ve beaten the statistics by walking at 11 months,and learning 2 languages to boot. We hope their social skills will be up to par with their peers. This is of course complicated by their being twins. But we are doing our best.
parker says...
Hi, my name is Parker. I was born 12 weeks early, weighing only 2 lbs. As far as I could tell I hadn’t been any different from my classmates when I was in high school. In my opinion, the way your kids turn out all depends on the way they’re raised and not really because of how early they were born. The only exception would be a mental disability of course.
Hope that answers any questions or worries you had.
George R Smith says...
crazyfox11147395@hotmail.com
I am leaving my e-mail address & would like to talk to anybody that feels the same way I do about this topic.
I would like to change this trend and also challenge “The Law of the Land Now” (No Child Left Behind). Preemies should not be labeled as mentally retarded and put in special education classes just because of statistics. These stats are WRONG!!!!!!
I feel your pain. I have two children (twins) that were born 2-3 months premature. One is in special education and the other is not. The CPSE (special education committee) refuses to change my sons label from mentally retarded to speech and language impaired.
Public schools are not expected to make progress with these children; and I think this is wrong!!!!!!
Please consider helping; I think if we pull together we can make sure that NCLB act includes these lost children as well. The statistics are wrong and we know it; it is our responsibility to our children as well as the children of the future.
EJ says...
Hi,
My son was born premature 15 years ago. 11 1/2 weeks early. It was a 50/50 chance of living. He is a smart boy and has a superior IQ. He scores nationally in the top 5-10% for reading and math. He caught up mentally and physically by the age of six months. He walked on his first birthday. (He even rolled over in his Incubator and sets off all the alarms…. )
Many years ago it was impossible to find any success stories and outcomes on preemies. I did not know what to expect. I did not experience what the books said I should.