I was fortunate to be able to easily conceive each time I wanted a baby. I did have a miscarriage in between pregnancies, which was, needless to say, very difficult. Going through this common but painful experience gave me a taste of what it must feel like to want a child but be unable to conceive or successfully carry a baby to term. I know people with fertility issues and see the struggles they go through, and often, the huge sums of money they spend on fertility treatments in attempts to get pregnant.

A piece of odd news I came across today made me think of such people. If I had fertility problems and wanted desperately to have a baby, I might just travel to the Ripley’s Believe it or Not museum in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.

Last Thursday, a collection of fertility statues went on display there. The statues are voluptuous, five-foot tall wooden female figures. They were acquired by a US company on the Ivory Coast of West Africa in 1993. The company says they were first placed in its corporate headquarters in Orlando, Florida, and that within months, 13 women who touched them became pregnant.

The display of statues has been all over the world and according to their owner, more than 2,000 women have become pregnant since touching them. The statues will be in Myrtle Beach until March 1st. Couples wanting to get pregnant can touch them for free during business hours.

If this piques your interest, you might also want to look into bringing some fertility frogs into your home, burning a fertility candle while trying to conceive, or wearing a fertility crystal necklace. I read about these superstitions while doing a search online, after being intrigued with the news of the fertility statues.

I hope to hear plenty of pregnancy reports related to the Ripley’s Believe it or Not exhibit!

Back in August I blogged about the increase in numbers of women trying to sell their eggs to make money. The economy was faltering back then, and now we are in a recession, even more women are considering other means to make money.

Selling eggs can net a woman a quick $4,000, and being a surrogate mother can bring over $20,000. Most women say that they decide to become surrogates because of their desire to help other families, because they love being pregnant, because they’ve witnessed other mother’s struggles with infertility and want to do something to help. Most moms don’t mention the money. But still, $20,000 is no small sum of money and applications from women to become surrogate mothers have rocketed.  But the desire to become a surrogate doesn’t mean a guaranteed check.

According to the director of one agency that matches up surrogate mothers to hopeful parents said that out of every hundred applicants, only a few are accepted. Prospective surrogates have to have the right mental attitude, have to have had at least one successful pregnancy, and have to be in good health, so they have to undergo extensive medical and psychological screening before being accepted by an agency.

Most surrogate mothers say that they are not doing it for the money. Out of several surrogate mothers interviewed, only one woman, an experienced surrogate, said that money was a factor. She said that she wanted to become pregnant again to help pay for an expensive operation her husband needs.

Regardless of the health of the economy, women still want to become mothers, so there will always be a demand for egg donors and surrogates. That is, until families stop being able to afford treatment. Hiring a surrogate mother in the USA costs at least $80,000, with around a third going to doctors and medical expenses, another third going to agencies who match up surrogates and hopeful parents, and a third to the surrogate mother.

So that leads to another issue with the economy that has also been in the news lately: outsourcing. Factories in China can produce consumer goods far more cheaply than American factories, and Indian women are prepared to be surrogate mothers for far less than American women. Hiring an Indian woman as a surrogate costs around $10,000 in total, a significant saving.

Women in India who were interviewed for an article about surrogacy were much more open about doing it for the money, as well as the ability to give happiness to a childless couple.

Is being a surrogate for the money wrong? Should surrogate mothers just want to do it for the noble reasons of helping a couple have a baby? Or, is it best to look at surrogacy purely as a womb-for-hire agreement, to emphasize that the baby really belongs to the couple who hired the surrogate, and to lessen emotional ties between the surrogate and baby?

And would you consider selling your eggs or renting your womb?

What would you do if you wanted a baby, but all your husband’s female relatives had suffered from breast cancer, the kind that doctors knew was caused by a faulty gene?

A controversial egg selection technique selection has resulted in the first baby girl born in the UK this week that doctors know is free from breast cancer genes. Women with either of the genes, called BRCA1 and BRCA2, are seven times more likely to get breast cancer – that means that 60% of women who have either BRCA1 or BRCA2 will get breast cancer in their lifetimes.

The faulty genes cause around 10% of breast cancer cases, and are carried from generation to generation, which is why the parents of the baby girl chose to have doctors screen and select an embryo that was free from both genes.

Doctors in London used in-vitro fertilization techniques to fertilize 11 of the mother’s eggs with the fathers sperm, and then let the eggs develop for several days. When the embryos were several days old, one cell was removed from each and tested for the BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes. Six of the eggs tested positive. Two of the five remaining eggs were implanted, resulting in a single pregnancy and a healthy baby girl.

The fertility doctors haven’t released what happened to the six embryos that tested positive for the breast cancer genes, but it’s likely they will be destroyed or used for research.

Genetic screening is only legal in the United Kingdom to screen for genetic diseases. It’s been used for diseases like Huntingdon’s Disease and Cystic Fibrosis, conditions for which if a baby has the gene, it will certainly get the disease.

Having the breast cancer gene doesn’t necessarily mean that a woman will get breast cancer, and if she does, it has the potential to be cured. And not having the breast cancer gene doesn’t mean that a woman will never get breast cancer, since the other 90% of non-genetic breast cancer cases don’t have a known cause.

It’s less of an ethical dilemma to select embryos to avoid a fatal genetic disease that all carriers of the gene will die from. But is it ethical to select embryos to avoid the breast cancer gene?

Actress Annabeth Gish is now a mom for the second time, having just given birth to a boy. She is probably most recognizable to fans as Agent Monica Reyes on The X-Files, a role she held for three years. Gish and her husband Wade Allen already have a 22-month old son, Cash.

Her new baby, Enzo Edward Allen, weighed seven pounds at birth. He was born on Saturday night at a hospital in Rhode Island. Gish and Allen married in October 2003.

Annabeth Gish is currently a cast member of the Showtime original series, Brotherhood, set in an Irish neighborhood in Providence. She plays the wife of Jason Clarke?s character, Tommy Caffee.

In other news, Sean Bean has said that he and his fourth wife, Georgina Sutcliffe are trying for a baby. Rumors were rampant that his marriage was in trouble after a domestic dispute. The 49-year old star of The Lord of The Rings is hoping that his older daughters from previous marriages will be available to babysit. ?The older ones can babysit too. But only if I can get them because they are always out on a Saturday night. That would be handy,? he said.

Aside from his role in The Lord of The Rings, Bean may be remembered for roles in National Treasure and The Island. The UK born actor is highly regarded in his field, and has a career spanning 20 years.

Congratulations to Annabeth Gish and Wade Allen on their newest addition. I guess Sean Bean fans can expect an announcement at some point, but remember, sometimes these things take time. So be patient and stay tuned.

October 19-25th, 2008 is National Infertility Awareness week.

To increase awareness, and also in an effort to help many couples realize their dreams of becoming parents, The New Hope Center for Reproductive Medicine in Virginia Beach, Virginia is giving ? free consult sessions. If you are struggling with issues surrounding infertility, this may be a great time to research your local medical options and see if your clinic may be offering any such programs. If you live near The New Hope Center, make a call today to schedule the consult.

According to the statistics I saw, about 10% of US couples struggle with infertility issues. That amounts to about 1 in 10 couples or about 1.6 million people. Doctors basically use the term infertile to describe couples who have tried unsuccessfully for about a year to conceive or to describe those who are unable to carry a pregnancy to term due to miscarriage.

Doctor?s also stress that it?s important to remember that infertility does not mean sterility?in other words, there is hope. Of the millions of couples that seek help each year, over 50% of those couples eventually are able to conceive and birth a child.

If you are struggling with infertility issues, know that you are not alone and that there is hope. Check with your local resources to see if they are participating in National Infertility Awareness Week. Ask if they are offering free consults. Taking that first step may be hard, but you can do it!

Have you and your partner decided to get pregnant? If you have, congratulations. Trying to get pregnant can be a snap for some couples, but for others, it may take awhile. Before you and your partner take the plunge however, you’ll be ahead of the curve if you try to at least do some of the following. You’ll not only feel healthier, it may even better your chances of conception and a healthy baby in the end.

1. Make a visit with your ob/gyn or general physician. Tell them of your plans, they’ll most likely due a routine examination and then tell you of anything you should work on. Whether it be weight, blood pressure, diabetes, etc. If you’re given an all-clear, they’ll most likely prescribe you some prenatal vitamins.
2. Regularly take the prenatal vitamins. Physicians usually recommend taking the vitamins for at least two months, so you’re body is nice and stocked with the essential vitamins that helps you while pregnant. The most important of this is folic acid, which aids in the baby’s brain development for the first few months and helps avoid any potential brain defects. You need at least 400 grams of folic acid and you’re prenatal vitamins is the one that will pack the appropriate punch.
3. Start exercising and stick to it. It’s more important now than ever before to get healthy. I wish I had gotten ultra-fit before I tried to get pregnant. Studies show that the fitter you are before getting pregnant, the faster you’ll get back to your pre-pregnant weight. And let’s face it, that’s mom’s top desire immediately following the desire to have a healthy and happy baby. You’ll also be able to carry the added weight of pregnancy if you’re exercising, be less stressed, and more limber. All of which could greatly help in labor.
4. Avoid alcohol and cigarettes, even second-hand smoke. Both can get in the way of getting pregnant, and it’s not healthy having any of the carcinogens in cigarettes or any alcohol in your system even at the very beginning of conception.
5. Start eating healthy. The healthier you are, the better your body is prepared to start conceiving and nurturing a baby inside you. Getting into a habit now will help stave off the “I’m pregnant so let me eat what I want” excuse. Your future baby will soon be ingesting everything you put into your mouth, so watch what you eat.
6. Start saving. Babies cost money. A LOT of money. Even with generous parents or friends, you’ll want a nice cushion to help you once the baby comes. You’ll suddenly find you absolutely need that new and top of the line infant swing once you heard it helps babies get to sleep faster. It’s also nice to have savings so you are not beholden to your company’s stingy maternity leave (for those who aren’t as lucky as others).
7. Start looking at your health insurance policy. The earlier you’re forearmed with knowledge, the better. I had a top-notch insurance policy. All I had to pay, literally, were $300 out of pocket. My best friend’s brother’s family however, had to fork out $2000 because their policy wasn’t as inclusive.
8. Start investigating your work-place’s maternity leave? How much money will you need to save up if you plan to stay home for 6 months after the baby’s born? Is your job save if you wish to stay home that long? Be in the know.
9. Find out when you ovulate. There are many different methods. You can time your periods, take your temperature (there’s a small spike in body temperature when ovulating), etc. Research the different methods and time your bedroom forays on the right day.
10. Last but not least: Relax! Do yoga, practice meditation, and breathing exercises. The more relaxed you are, the better your chances at conceiving.

Good luck!

When do you know it’s time to have a baby?

• Is it listening to an internal clock telling you it’s time?
• Is it when both parents are emotionally ready?
• Or when the financial aspect of having a baby is all taken care of?
• Or maybe a couple can never really be ready and just have to take the plunge?

In my situation, I am emotionally ready to have baby #2. My daughter just turned one, and I’m feeling the pull of another baby.

The pros in such short spacing are that they’ll be closer in age and therefore able to share more things, will be able to relate to each other better and help socialize each other, and I’ll be able to get through each stage within a relatively short span of time.

The cons are numerous too. We’re definitely not financially ready. But if we decided to have another one, I’m sure we could make it work. I’m just looking at the stretch of the next 4 years, and I can’t see a time when it would be “perfect” to have another baby. I’ll finish school in 3 years, then it will be time to get licensed, then I’ll be new at a job. I don’t want a gap longer than 4-5 yrs. between my first and second, and I can’t help but think we should do it now.

How do parents make this decision? Do they leave it to fate? Do they just trust that everything will work out if baby comes along?

And what of my best friend couple? She’s ready, and he’s not. In my head, I know that it’s only fair that they both be ready for a new baby. But I can’t help feel a pang of pain on behalf of my girl friend when I see her watching babies, or hear news of her brother welcoming his first child. It literally is painful for her not to be a mother right now. Should my guy friend, her husband, just ignore his misgivings about having a baby now, as opposed to later, because no one is ever really ready for a child? They’re not asking for my advice, but if he did, I feel like I would end up yelling at him to get over it already and give her a baby. I guess, it’s a good thing they’re not asking for my advice .

For some couple, having baby #1 or #2 seems so cut and dried. They just know it’s time. They try for a baby, they get pregnant and all’s well that ends well. But for others, like me and my friends, we’re never really sure. What if, in 4 years, I do try for a baby and it takes us 2 years to get pregnant like the first time? Or longer cause I’m older?

I wish there were easy answers to questions like this. I know ultimately, a couple must be aligned in the decision and that everything usually works out. I just wish sometimes we were in on the conclusion beforehand.

Trying for a baby boy? While what only really matters is a healthy baby of either gender, many moms would admit they have a slight preference for one gender over the other, and perhaps wonder how to have a baby boy?

I have a son, and if I could pick the gender of my next baby, I’d have a girl, to have one of each. But I want a baby boy too, and would adore another son equally of course!

Do you want to know how to conceive a baby boy? If you are thinking “how can I have a baby boy” here’s a rundown of scientifically based methods and advice that might increase your chances of having a boy.

The Baby Boy Diet

Much in the news lately: moms who eat high calorie diets around the time of conception are slightly more likely to have a baby boy. Moms who eat more breakfast cereals are also more likely to have sons. so does eating the baby boy diet work?

Brit thinks: No. Don’t risk skimping on vital nutrients. Just eat healthily.

Timing Intercourse to Have a Baby Boy

Biology 101: the sex of a baby is totally decided by sperm. Either a “male” or a “female” sperm gets to the egg first, resulting in a baby boy or baby girl. Male sperm are faster swimmers, but don’t live as long as female sperm. Female sperm are slower but tougher and more persistent.So there are various methods of timing intercourse relative to ovulation that increase the odds of having a boy. To have a boy, having intercourse as close as possible to ovulation gives the faster male sperm the best chance to get to the egg first. Here’s a closer look at this method including how to determine when you are ovulating . So does timing sex to have a baby boy work?

Brit thinks: scientific evidence supports this one and success rates are reportedly around 70%. So try this one. but the planning seems to take the fun out of babymaking somewhat?

The Loose Underpants Method

As female sperm are tougher, they survive better in hostile environments. What’s hostile for sperm? They don’t like being too hot, for example in hot baths, or tight boxer shorts. Activities your man does may also reduce the number of male sperm. Professional cyclists, scuba divers and jet fighter pilots father significantly more daughters than average.So loose underpants for him, avoid saunas or hot baths for a few days before trying to conceive, and if he is a cyclist and you want a boy, suggest he cuts down on the time he spends in the saddle.More evidence? My dad is a serious cyclist and I’m one of two girls. Another cyclist friend has three daughters.

Brit thinks: temporary lifestyle changes might be worth trying. If your man has a sperm-unfriendly profession or hobby, why not go on a relaxing vacation for a few days, give his male sperm a chance to regroup and then try to conceive?

Watch What Your Man Drinks, and Smokes

Smoking and drinking are both well known to reduce sperm counts, and just like the job or hobby your man does reduces the number of male sperm more than female sperm, drinking or smoking will reduce the number of male sperm in relation to the number of hardier female sperm. So heavy drinkers or smokers may be less likely to have boys.

Brit thinks: drinking too much or smoking is bad for you anyway. Dads-to-be should certainly be quitting smoking, and reducing the amount of alcohol drunk is a healthy choice. So these lifestyle choices are ones dads-to-be should certainly consider whether or not they want a boy.

Ovulation Calculator

Want to know when you’ll be ovulating next?

I have a bone to pick with implantation bleeding.

I know that’s a weird thing to be mad at, but I spent a year trying to get pregnant with my first baby and every time my period would start up I would tell myself the same thing: “Maybe it’s implantation bleeding.” Every single time it wasn’t implantation bleeding. It was the same old menstrual cycle, announcing my lack of pregnancy. It was maddening.

What is implantation bleeding? From what I understand it’s what happens when the ovum sticks itself to the wall of the uterus. Apparently some women initially mistake the implantation bleeding as signs of a menstrual cycle only to later discover that they’re actually pregnant.

At least, that’s what I kept hoping for.

I’ve also heard of implantation bleeding happening to women who already know they’re pregnant, so of course it scares them because they think something is wrong. It sounds like yet another situation where a woman looks at the blood and thinks to herself, “Maybe it’s implantation bleeding.”

It’s funny how something so small can mean so much, depending on if it’s one thing or another.

Of course, if you experience bleeding while you’re pregnant it’s probably something that you should talk to your doctor about. You can tell your doctor that the woman with the weird grudge toward implantation bleeding sent you.

Editor’s note:? You can read more about Implantation Bleeding at Babies Online

Times have been tough lately. What have you done to economize? I’ve been biking more and driving less, shopping for only seasonal produce, and I had my cable TV disconnected and replaced by a Netflix subscription (update: don’t miss television at all!)

Some women are considering more interesting options to help with their finances. Fertility clinics are reporting increasing numbers of women offering their services as egg donors or surrogate mothers. Donating eggs can pay around $4,000 and being a surrogate mom around $20,000 or more.

Donating an egg requires a couple of weeks of hormone treatments and several doctors visits. Some women have no side effects, but the majority of women suffer from some degree of nausea, cramps, or mood swings. Around 6% develop ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome, where thirty or more eggs start to develop at once, and fluid leaks out of blood vessels, collects in the abdomen, causing nausea, bloating and very occasionally kidney failure or even death.

There’s no real data on the long-term effects of the hormones used in egg donation, which makes experts worry over women donating eggs for money.

Donating an egg or being a surrogate is a wonderful giving act. But women considering donating an egg should also consider their own health before the financial gain.

Since I am most likely new to the majority of you reading this blog, please allow me a paragraph to introduce myself. I write under the pseudonym SciFi Dad, but you can call me SFD for short. I am a Canadian father to a three year old girl as well as a gender-to-be-determined fetus whose arrival is currently pegged at early October. (The Canadian thing means that I will have what most of you, as Americans, will believe to be typographical errors, usually insertions of the letter “u”. Try not to find my spelling humourous.) I have been blogging for nearly two years at my personal blog, and have recently started guest blogging for Babies Online – The Blog. I was asked to write from the dad’s perspective (which is far easier for me than from the mom’s perspective, believe it or not) about topics that would appeal to their audience.

For my inaugural post, I have decided to share our struggles with secondary infertility.

When my wife and I decided we were ready to leave the DINK life behind and start trying for a baby, we did not have a long wait. Our second month found us pregnant with the child who would eventually become the daughter I mentioned above. We had friends who struggled with fertility, but the experience was completely foreign to us.

When our daughter turned one, we decided we would begin trying again for a second a few months later. Unfortunately, the start of those efforts was delayed by an injury (I broke my ankle), so my daughter was almost 16 months in July of 2006 when we began trying again. Now, as you have read above, our story had a happy ending, although it took a year and a half to get there.

What is interesting is that if you asked my wife, she would tell you we had been trying for a year and a half before conceiving. However, if you asked me, I would have said a few months. Why the discrepancy? Because in June of 2006 my in-laws began living with us periodically while their new home was constructed. They slept at our house for three nights at a time every few weeks, usually timing their visits perfectly with my wife’s ovulation cycle. And while at first we valiantly tried to make the arrangement work, we eventually just felt like a couple of teenagers trying to do it quietly so their parents didn’t catch them. Combine that inability to properly schedule our efforts with the fact that my in-laws are not the easiest guests to have around, and you have a cocktail for failure that lasted until the middle of October, 2007 (when mercifully, their home was completed).

So when my wife started investigating her fertility in the fall of 2007, I gently suggested that perhaps her reduced stress level and our newfound freedom in our home would result in success. However, she genuinely thought something might be wrong, so she had blood work and some other tests done, but they showed no signs of a cause. She proceeded to take non-traditional steps, including acupuncture and seeing a naturopath, without success. By the time she got to the point of investigating my part in our inability, it was December, and I deferred providing a specimen until the new year, explaining to my doctor my belief that while my in-laws were guests our efforts “didn’t count”, and therefore we had only been trying for two months. My wife had her last period January 1, 2008.

According to the reading we both did while we were trying, secondary infertility is quite common, and some couples never actually conceive a second time; it’s difficult not to feel like something is broken when you’ve got one child and cannot give them a sibling. We were fortunate to eventually conceive. However, it also goes to show how much external factors can influence fertility. My wife had cut out caffeine (a trying time for everyone in our family, not to mention the neighbours, phone solicitors, and retail personnel), alcohol, and any other thing she could find a source online that told her she would conceive if she reduced her intake of. We trended her temperature for months and months, trying (as best as we could) to catch her ovulation date. In short, we weren’t just haphazardly trying; we were doing everything we could do from a purely natural standpoint. But it wasn’t until we could control her (and to a less significant point my) stress levels that we were able to conceive.

By no means do I think that stress is the key to fertility; that was not the point of this post. I just wanted to share our experience with the intention of opening a dialog with the readers. Are you experiencing secondary infertility? What steps have you taken to improve your odds at conceiving a sibling for your child?

Source:

Secondary infertility

(Note that the previous link is not the only source for information about secondary infertility on the web. A simple search using Google or some other search engine will yield pages of results. Also note that for the most part, this is a personal and anecdotal piece, not intended to be taken as scientific or medical fact.)

One-third of couples have trouble conceiving because of male infertility, and in order to conceive must rely on donor sperm and in vitro fertilization. But advances in the study of artificial sperm may change all of that, allowing a father to have a biological connection to his child.

In 2006 a German medical team successfully created artificial sperm in a lab from the embryonic stem cells of mice harvested from their bone marrow. Professors Nayernia and a team of genetic scientists at the Georg-August Unviersity in Gottingen, Germany were able to successfully separate stem cells that had started to turn into sperm. The sperm was grown into adult sperm and injected into the eggs of female mice through in-vitro fertilization. The fertilized eggs were then transplanted into female mice, and after the standard gestational period, the female mice gave birth to seven baby mice of which all but one survived. At the time, Professor Nayernia, was quoted as having said, “This will help us to understand how men produce sperm and why some men are unable to do this. If we understand this we can treat infertility in men.”

The mice born from the original study did however exhibit problems including unusual growth patterns and respiratory problems as Medical News Today reported in 2006.

In the two years since, Dr. Wolfgang Engel, director of Human Genetics at the university, has repeated the experiment on a larger scale and with very early cells called germ cells, which are taken directly from the testes. Through this method, the researchers on his team have created 65 mouse fetuses through in-vitro fertilization with artificial sperm. The fetuses have had a high mortality rate with only 12 of the 65 reaching full-term birth. Of those 12, even of the newborn animals died within a period ranging from three days to five months of causes which the team has yet been able to identify. Regarding the mortality rate, in a report from the Australian paper The Age, Engel stated that “you can see that this is all still in the very early experimental stages.”

This new advancement in the research could still be great news for infertile couples since using sperm created from embryonic stem cells is much like using donor sperm where the father has no biological tie to the offspring. Engel, who has had success with in-vitro fertilization with testicular germ cells in mice believes that the process could also work with human testicular germ cells, which at the very least will help researchers understand the causes of infertility in men. Even if producing a child through this method may be years away, Engel is optimistic. “If it works in the mouse, I’m sure it will also work in the human,” Engel says in another recent report.

Dr. Engel’s next challenge is to grow sperm taken from a female germ cell, which could then be used to fertilize another woman’s egg. Creating artificial sperm in this manner would give both partners in a lesbian couple, for example biological ties to the child, if the procedure were successful.

Engel’s research is not without its critics who oppose it on moral and ethical grounds both in Europe and in the United States. In the Australian report, Dr. Engel said his team will stop short of tests on humans in compliance with federal law in Germany which bans all genetic research using human stem cells. But after recent changes in the United Kingdom?s Human Fertilization and Embryology bill as reported by the Observer, one member of Engel?s team has gone to Newcastle, England, to conduct research on artificial human sperm. While success on human subjects will not be without controversy, it will offer new possibilities for infertile and same gender couples seeking to start a family.

I tried to be really cool when I found out I was pregnant with my second baby. The first time I found out I was pregnant I just kind of stumbled out of the bathroom, waving the test stick around, crying and laughing at the same time. I wanted the second time to be a really great memory for my husband and I, so I spent the afternoon devising a clever way to tell him that he was going to be a Daddy for the second time.

You see, I figured out I was pregnant on our wedding anniversary when I walked into the grocery store and had that familiar wave of nausea hit me. I was still nursing my first daughter so my period was sporadic at best, so I couldn’t rely on that to tell me that I was with child. I bought a test, took it at home without my husband knowing, and lo and behold I was pregnant again. I was delighted to have some time to figure out some earth-shattering way of telling him.

So here is what I did: I bought a bib that had the words “I love my big sister!” on it and placed it in the bib drawer. I planned on asking my husband to fish out a bib for my daughter, and voila! The perfectly clever way to tell him I was pregnant.

When the time came for lunch I asked him to grab a bib, and when he opened the drawer he stared at the bib and just chuckled. “When did you get this bib?” he asked, still staring. He wasn’t getting it. He didn’t understand. My clever plan had bombed, and now he was just confused while I was waiting for the light bulb to go off in his head.

Luckily I had the positive pregnancy test nearby, so I grabbed it and shoved it in his face and stammered, “Happy anniversary!” Suddenly it all made sense to him, and soon we were hugging, crying, and all that jazz. It may not have been the picture-perfect moment I had envisioned, but at least now we have a funny story about how he found out our son was on the way.

When you’re trying to figure out how to tell your husband that a baby is on the way, it may be better to keep it simple…or at least tell him in a clever way that won’t confuse him.

Women once had to take their temperature each day and manually check their cervical mucus in order to find out when they were most fertile. But, now we have the home ovulation test. These are just as easy to take as a home pregnancy test- just pee on a stick and a line appears when you?re ovulating. This has been a revolution in the way women trying to conceive can accurately pinpoint the exact time they are ovulating. There?s no more guessing based on the dates, no more temperature taking and no more buying expensive machinery. Yes, machinery. I once had a $150 ovulation machine that required the daily input of data.

The only problem with the newer home tests has been that the tests are usually as expensive as home pregnancy tests, but you need them far more often. If you?ve ever bought a pregnancy test, you know how pricey they can be. And if you have to use them a few times over the course of a month, the price gets pretty ridiculous. What I discovered is that tiny ovulation strips, the kind that medical clinics use, are available online for less than a dollar apiece. I got a pack of 20 home ovulation tests for about the price I would have paid for one at a drugstore. With a pack of 20, you can test over the course of a month or two and get a much more accurate view of when ovulation is occurring.

Another inexpensive ovulation testing option is the Answer Daily Ovulation Tracker. It?s a kit that provides 20 tests for about the price of two individual ovulation tests. With so many tests, you have a way to track the results and come up with the correct ovulation dates. Then it?s time to put away the tests and get to conceiving.

A recent scientific review shows evidence that acupuncture might increase the odds of conceiving when done right before or right after embryos are placed in the womb.

Acupuncture, or placing very thin needles at specific points on the body, has already been used to control pain and stress. Eric Manheimer, a researcher at the University of Maryland?s School of Medicine, led the recent analysis. He claims that in fertility treatment, acupuncture is thought to increase blood flow to the uterus, relax the cervix and inhibit stress hormones that make it difficult for an embryo to implant.

The review is a collection of results from seven studies in 1,366 women in the US, Germany, Australia and Denmark who are undergoing IVF (in vitro fertilization). IVF involves mixing sperm and eggs in a lab dish and creating embryos, which are then placed in the womb.

While some studies suggest that the odds of conceiving go up about 65% when women are given acupuncture, experts warn that this number is not certain. More conservative numbers suggest that while IVF results in pregnancy about 35% of the time, adding acupuncture might increase this to 45%.

Among experts, there are very mixed opinions on the topic. Dr. Ann Trevino, a 37-year old family physician, believes that acupuncture does help women to conceive. After three unsuccessful attempts with IVF alone, she tried acupuncture with IVF at a fertility clinic in San Antonio, Texas, and is now pregnant.

When treating fertility patients, acupuncturist Kirsten Karchmer says she places about a dozen needles in the ears, hands, feet, lower legs, abdomen and sometimes the lower back. It costs $500 a month for twice-weekly treatments and her patients usually receive treatment for three months.

As IVF costs around $12,000 per attempt, a treatment that increases its effectiveness, such as acupuncture, may save money, along with some of the struggle of those who are trying to conceive.

Eating half a serving of soy products a day can cut a man’s sperm count nearly in half, according to Harvard University researchers.

Researchers released preliminary results from a study of couples undergoing fertility treatment. They asked the men about their diets, and specifically if and how often they ate soy products. Men who ate as little as half a serving a day had 40% fewer sperm than those who rarely ate soy.

Soy foods contain high amounts of chemicals called isoflavones, which mimic the effects of the hormone oestrogen in the body. The Harvard scientists speculate that sperm production is disrupted in the presence of the apparent female hormone.

Some other scientists are skeptical about the results. In many Asian countries soy is an important part of the diet, and infertility rates are similar in Asia and western countries.

Still, if you are trying to conceive, and your man eats soy products, perhaps you might want to consider suggesting that he reduces the amount he consumes. Soy is in foods such as tofu, tempeh, miso soup, some energy bars, veggie burgers and soy milk.

If he is a vegan, vegetarian, lactose intolerant or has another reason to eat soy, but wants to reduce the amount in his diet, talk to a doctor or dietitian first about other sources of protein. Malnourished men are no good for baby making!

Choosing birth control is hard. And for new moms, especially breastfeeding moms, it’s even harder. With all the warnings in the news lately, it makes moms wonder what’s the best choice for them.

A growing number of mothers are turning to an all-natural method, called Natural Family Planning, or NFP.

If you charted when you were trying to conceive, you already know how to do it. The same charting methods of tracking your basal body temperature, and especially cervical fluid, are used to determine when you ovulate, and around ovulation, you abstain, or use a barrier method.

The premise is, there are only a couple of days during your cycle when you can get pregnant. You ovulate once in a cycle, and the egg lives at most 2 days. Before you ovulate, and after the egg has gone, then you cannot get pregnant.

This method has some wonderful advantages. It’s almost free, it needs nothing more than pen and paper, an optional thermometer, and a couple of moments of your time a day. It’s very eco-friendly – no pill packets, and no peeing out synthetic hormones and turning all the local fish into 3 eyed hermaphrodites (kidding). There’s no medication so it’s very compatible with breastfeeding. It’s also compatible with faiths that disapprove of birth control. There’s nothing to interfere with lovemaking when you are not ovulating, and many couples feel that the advantages outweighs having to abstain or use condoms for a couple of days mid-cycle.

Disadvantages are that the method takes some time to learn. You really need to understand the principle if it’s to work, and you will probably have to chart several cycles before you’ll feel confident you won’t get pregnant. It took me several cycles to start understanding my chart, but now it takes literally seconds a day. You’ll also need the discipline to chart every day – but it’s barely any more work than popping a pill.

I use this method because I don’t want any more artificial hormones, foreign object or implants in my body. A bonus for me is that I now have a greater understanding of what my body is doing every cycle, and it’s pretty awesome what your body actually does! Another neat advantage is that once we decide to try for No. 2, we’ll know exactly what day to go for it!

My bible of Natural Family Planning, which explains everything you need to know (and also a must read for anyone trying to conceive, women with questions about their cycles, and just about anyone with a womb) is a book called Taking Charge of your Fertility, by Toni Weschler.

It’s everything you’ll need to know about NFP, and a must read if you are interested in following this method. There were several places in this book where I exclaimed – so that’s why that happens! Or that’s why I feel like that! I highly recommend it.

Say what?

Conceptionmoons (conception honeymoons) are big these days. Couples are encouraged to take trips to relax and time these with the woman’s fertile period. This is a great idea for those who are already trying to conceive but don’t want to commit to the whole fertility workup just yet… or those who have been undergoing fertility treatments for so long and want a break from the needles.

It can just be a weekend in the country or a beach getaway to enjoy some sun and a lot of fresh air. It can be the perfect time to return to bird watching or stargazing. It can even be the perfect time to try new things, like bungee jumping or white-water rafting. It may sound weird but adrenaline rush actually makes people more libidinal, maybe because they get to scream and sweat the stress off their bodies. At least, making love would not seem like the chore it has been for the many months that you’ve been trying.

And I’m sure you’ll agree, we all need a break from work anyway!

Maybe you’d want to take it a step further. If you’re willing to try anything, why not time these conceptionmoons with fertility festivals? The Hounen Matsuri Festival in Japan happens every March. Squeeze in a trip to the wonderful Okinawa Churaumi Aquarium and learn about dolphins there or get made-up like a geisha and have wonderful pictures taken.

Or maybe it’s really wonderful beaches and surfing that appeal to you. The Obando Festival in the Philippines happens every May 17-19. Maybe you can spend several days first in Palawan or Davao (or even popular Boracay) to destress before attending the festival and dancing in the street with the many believers who have been blessed with, or are asking for, a child. These things are not going to hurt (well, maybe your pocket) but will be enriching experiences to bond you closer with your partner and lead you both to reflect on why you really want to have kids.

Laugh, swim, frolic the stress away. Let the sun do you good. And in the event that you don’t get pregnant during your vacation, at least you are now refreshed for more of the workups and you got a much needed break away from it all.

Seriously, there’s no better reason to travel… especially since traveling may take a backseat for awhile when you do get pregnant or when there’s already a baby.

When my husband and I were trying to conceive our first baby it was common knowledge among our friends and family. Everyone knew we were trying to have a baby, and everyone had ideas that they wanted to share with us. Apparently we were the only people who didn’t know how to make a baby. I mean, we knew how to make a baby logistically, but since it wasn’t working everyone had a tip for us.

Many of our advisers said the timing of our attempts was everything. We heard a wide variety of ideas: try to make a baby every single night, try to make a baby every other night, try to make a baby only once a month after carefully timing my ovulation…it was exhausting. We tried every method suggested to us, and none of them worked. I won’t even go into the various positions suggested by well-meaning folks.

We heard from friends that the only way to have a baby was to not try. In other words, the stress of trying was so taxing that my body would shut down. So we tried to be nonchalant in our attempts at getting pregnant. That didn’t work either.

My poor husband was victim to many unsolicited tips too. He was told to wear boxers instead of briefs, to take in extra Vitamin C, and to stop drinking Mountain Dew. He was such a trooper. Not only did he listen politely to all the advice, but he actually tried what people said. Still no baby.

I think that most pregnancies just happen when they’re ready to happen. There is no tip I can pass on to help anyone get pregnant because I’m not sure if any of the million tips we received actually helped. I did wind up pregnant, but as the scientist in me says (in a stern voice): Correlation does not equal causation. I don’t think the extra Vitamin C helped my husband impregnate me, but hopefully it stopped him from getting a cold or something.

I don’t think I can.

A woman in Brighton, England has already given away seven babies and is willing to carry and give away another. She was reported to have said that, “I don’t love the baby and I don’t want the baby for myself – the baby is conceived for my couple.”

This is actually baffling for someone like me, who has seemingly loved my unborn children even before I actually conceived them. Heck, before I found someone worthy to conceive them with even.

The Free Online Dictionary defines surrogate mothers as “a woman who agrees to bear a child for another woman, either through artificial insemination by the other woman’s husband or partner or by carrying until birth the other woman’s surgically implanted fertilized egg”. In a lot of countries, surrogacy is legal provided that only the reasonable expenses are paid for by the prospective parents. These expenses include, but may not be limited to, fertility procedures, prenatal check-ups and lab tests, food allowance, vitamins and/or other drugs required by the surrogate mother. Sometimes, this may also cover a minimal allowance for the mother in case she suffers from loss of income due to the pregnancy.

Surrogate mothers come in various forms and shapes. It can be your sister, your sister-in-law, or your mother. It can be a friend or a stranger a surrogacy agency has set you up with. It can even be outsourced now. But whoever they are, they are heaven sent to couples who are unable to conceive on their own.

Now, many say that a child becomes bonded to his host, usually his mother but in this case, his surrogate mother. Firstly, it’s her voice he hears all the time. Secondly, unborn fetuses seem to share the mother’s emotions through the hormones associated with them. Some studies also suggest that mothers who felt no attachment to their unborn child are more likely to have kids with emotional problems.

So isn’t there some disconnect somehow after the baby is given up?

And yet, there have been many adoptive parents who have lovingly cared for children they didn’t conceive, proving that being a psychological parent is the more important thing to be.

Still, I really don’t think I am made of the same mettle as these surrogate mothers. It must take great courage and a really strong self-concept to be able to nurture a child within you, and then have the grace to give it up.

Are you?

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