How many times have you found yourself repeating a request to your toddler over and over again, wondering to yourself if your toddler can even hear you? There were so many times when I would ask my toddler to do something and then wind up convinced that he must have a hearing problem because he would either do something different from what I asked or he would ignore my request altogether. It would usually go a little something like this:

Me: “Sweetie, will you please go into your room and grab your shoes so we can get going?”

(silence)

Me: “Sweetie, Mommy asked you to go into your room and grab your shoes. We have to get going.”

(silence)

Me: “Son! We have to go! Where are your shoes? Why aren’t you listening to Mommy?”

Sound familiar? This can be frustrating beyond belief, especially if you are in a hurry and also you happen to know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with your toddler’s hearing because you had it tested by a professional audiologist. Or, at least, that’s what I did. At any rate, I knew that he could hear me.

Am I Doing Something Wrong?

It wasn’t until I talked to a professional child psychologist that I found out that the problem wasn’t with my toddler, it was with me. My approach was wrong, so he truly couldn’t do what I was asking him to do. Apparently, toddlers process information differently than we do as adults. When I barraged him with a lengthy request, he literally could not process everything I asked him to do and therefore he just purged the whole thing.

The child psychologist taught me a thing or two about how to phrase a request to a toddler in order to make it possible for the child to listen and respond.

How to Talk to a Toddler

• Make it a command. Don’t ask your toddler if he wants to get his shoes on. Instead, tell him to get his shoes on.

• Keep it simple. Don’t give a lengthy explanation of why he needs to do what you ask him. Instead, keep the request simple so there is not too much information to process.

• Be polite. Don’t bark the command, but instead be respectful without pleading.

So instead of  “Sweetie, will you please go into your room and grab your shoes so we can get going?” it should be “Abram, please get your shoes on.” I now know to give him a few seconds to process the request and to react to my command. If he doesn’t respond, I give the same request and wait a few seconds again. If he still doesn’t respond, he’s met with a calm, “Abram, please get your shoes on or time out.”

Ever since I started using these tactics I have had more success getting my toddler to cooperate. I know it is contrary to what we’re taught as parents; I can’t be the only mom out there who has been narrating activities with a long winded monologue all day long because I was told to talk to my baby as much as possible. Sometimes, however, simplifying things can make a huge impact on how compliant your toddler will be.

I’m sure I’m not the first parent to battle an insistent, strong-willed, soon-to-be toddler over diaper and outfit changes. My husband walked into the bedroom the other night asking, “Why is she crying like that?”

I held up a finger covered in Boudreax’s Butt Paste, using my other hand to grab two flailing legs, and with my third hand… wait, there’s the problem. My daughter proceeded to spread diaper cream on her ankles, knees, and toes (everywhere except her butt basically), as I said, “I’m changing her.” My tone suggested this was explanation enough.

“So?” my husband asked, raising an eyebrow. “Does she do that every time you change her?”

I stopped, looking up from the tangle of arms and legs. “You mean she DOESN”T act this way for you?”

“No,” my husband answered. “Don’t you give her a shoe?”

“What?”

My husband grabbed a size 2 Old Navy Tennis shoe off the floor and said, “You just have to give her a shoe.” Our daughter took the shoe, smiled, placed it in her mouth, and I continued with the diapering. Easy as tying a shoelace.

But when the shoe trick gets, well, as boring as an old shoe, what else can the parent of a toddler do to make changing time go easier?

Keep all supplies well stocked. This is good advice regardless of your baby’s age — you don’t want to have to go running around the house looking for a diaper with baby on the changing table. But with a toddler, you only have one chance to change each diaper before you have a naked baby streaking through the house, so you better get it right!

Keep messy objects out of reach. As soon as your little bundle figures out how to open the cap on the diaper cream, get it out of there.  (Fortunately, I didn’t have to learn this one from experience!) Remove from reach anything you don’t want your toddler grabbing for; this frees up your hands for the important tasks — holding baby down, wiping, fastening diaper tabs.

Keep toys within reach. Whether it’s a shoe, a lovey or a favorite teething ring, giving your child a toy may keep them occupied during changing. In fact, the mobile that you can’t use in the crib anymore because your on-the-go baby uses it to pull up on works great above the changing table, where baby can watch her favorite, familiar characters go round-and-round. Just make sure it’s out of reach or it becomes just another thing baby can grab and use as a weapon, er, object to pull up on.

That strap on the changing table? It actually has a purpose. I have a confession. The first time I placed the changing table pad on the changing table, I thought the straps were designed to go under the pad, securing it to the table. Now I know better!

Although experts recommend always strapping your baby down, it doesn’t become mandatory, from a practical standpoint, until your child begins rolling. Using the restraint signals to a squirming toddler that it’s time to be still, just like in the car seat. My husband (who is, apparently, the diaper-changing pro) strapped down our daughter for changing time the other day, and it actually made the process much easier.

When all else fails…  Use the Amazing Standing Diaper Change. I read this post by Brit several months ago and never forgot it. While my husband’s the diaper changing pro, I almost have this move mastered. Let baby stand up, occupied and playing with whatever toy they like, while you quickly remove old diaper (yes, even if it’s dirty), wipe baby, and put on new diaper. Experienced mom Brit makes it sound so easy but, really, it truly is easier than getting an uncooperative toddler to lie down for a diaper change.

My daughter started preschool a few weeks ago.  Yes Moms and Dads, the years do fly by that quickly.  The first day, my 2 year-old didn’t even bat an eyelash as we left her playing with the myriad of toys that her teacher laid out.   We breathed a sigh of relief but her teacher cautioned us that kids her age usually start being tearful on the second day, once she’s learned that she will be left there by her parents.  And it was true.  M. spent her next few classes crying “on and off” according to her teachers. We took this to mean she cried all day (well, 1/2 day, as shes’ only there for 3 hours). Here is what we would do differently and what are we doing now.

Easing the Transition to Preschool

• Visit the classroom before your child begins. This allows your child to meet other children, and feel familiar with the surroundings without the stress of leaving them.  Make several visits.  Point out their teacher and have them learn their teacher’s names.  Introduce them to at least one other child they look to be compatible with. This can greatly reduce the separation anxiety many children feel on the first day of school. I only made one pre-visit  and I wished I had made more.  Of course, make sure that the visits are okay with the teacher first.

• Make school an upbeat topic. Don’t add to your child’s stress by falling apart thinking how much you’ll miss her and join her in her tears.  Point out all the things she’ll be learning.  I keep telling my daughter that school will help her grow smarter.  I also point out all the friends she’ll make.  For now, she tells me that “I don’t want to play with the kids!”…but I’ve  been assured that her attitude will change.

• Say good-bye and tell him you’ll be back. Don’t sneak away as this can really traumatize your child.  When you promise you’ll be back and you do come back, he will gradually learn that it’s okay to be left there, and okay to have fun, because Mommy and Daddy will return.

• Don’t sneak back in. You’ll then have to start all over again with the tears, the good-byes, etc.  Let them finish the day and only come back if the school asks you to return.

• Let them have their comfort object at school. This particularly stressful time is not the time to try to wean them from their security items – a paci, a patch of their blankie, or a favorite doll.  Unless the school has a  policy of no bringing toys from home, let her have something comfortable to hold on to at school.  My daughter keeps her Boo doll from Monsters, Inc.

Most important of all, stay the course.

It’s hard to send your child off when they’re not so willing to go to school, but remember all the reasons you sent them there in the first place.  Ideally, you’re sending them to a school with a good reputation, and you’ve done your homework in that regard.  Now it’s time to recall why preschool is good for them.  For my daughter, she is an only child, with no cousins nearby, and I wanted to make sure she is well-socialized.  We already went to gym class and dance class together, but I felt she needed more exposure to other children.  The extra hours in the two 1/2 days she goes also affords me time to work out, and pursue other non-toddler related interests.  Hopefully, in a few weeks, I can report a child who’s eager to go to school.

Now that our daughter has passed the two year mark, things have gotten much easier. Sure, she still tests us every chance she gets to see just how far she can stretch her limits, but that’s typical toddler behavior. She eats better and is more willing to try new things, and she absorbs language and other skills like a sponge.

One thing that hasn’t gotten easier, however, is traveling with her. She doesn’t like to sit still for very long, so leaving the house is a challenge. She’ll willingly get into the car seat when we leave the house, but getting her in and out multiple times (such as when we’re running errands) can be difficult.

Here are some of the ways we’ve found to keep her happy while we’re traveling.

• Keep snacks handy. There’s nothing worse than a cranky, hungry toddler. We travel with finger foods. Snacks that are portable and easy to eat in the car, such as baggies or snack cups half filled with Cheerios or other snacks.

• Keep them hydrated. A sippy cup of juice or milk helps to keep her hydrated and happy for car rides.

• Keep them entertained. We keep a few toys around that are only played with in the car, and rotate them. This way, she always has something somewhat “new” to play with while she’s in the car seat.

• Keep it short. If you can, try to limit the amount of time they’re in the car. For longer trips, take breaks every hour or two to stretch out. We like to park the car at a park or other large, grassy area so our daughter can wander and play safely for a little while before getting back in the car.

• Keep them shaded. Use sunscreen, even when the sun isn’t out, to prevent sunburn. In addition, use a window shade or other screen on the window to keep the sunshine from being so bright and hot. We tuck a receiving blanket up into the window crack to form a curtain that blocks out most of the harsh sunlight.

• Expect the unexpected (and try to plan for it). The last time we traveled, our toddler caught a cold, which drastically changed our plans. While you can’t plan for everything, sick kids are a common reality. Be sure to pack the children’s medicines and any loveys or other items he or she finds comforting.

It’s the big day they’ve been looking forward to. My twin boys turned 6 today! It is certainly a major milestone for the kids as well as for the parents. Here are the reasons why:

• 6 is the age when they start primary school. Until a year ago, kindergarten in Switzerland was not obligatory, so that for many kids, 6 is the year when they actually “leave the nest” for the first time.

• 6 is the age when kids start paying. From now on, they will be paying for public transport, museums, swimming pools, shows, etc. For the kids, 6 is the age when they can have their very own – albeit reduced – ticket. They are no longer the “gratis” babies who had to sit on mom/dad’s laps at ice hockey matches. They will have their own seat! Oh, how proud they are. (And oh, how much more do mommy and daddy have to spend now).

• 6 is the age when kids can do much more. There are games, rides, or toys that are only accessible to 6+ kids, including that big slide and the 3-meter diving board at our local swimming pool.

• 6 is also the age of the big doctor’s check up, when inoculations are finally completed, and when the kids are checked for school readiness.

In addition to these milestones, we have agreed that a couple things can happen once they turn 6, namely:

• They can choose the clothes they wear in the morning, although mommy still has to give the final approval based on weather conditions.

• They can go and shop for their birthday presents.

• They can brush their teeth in the evenings on their own.

Things went fairly well even though they went for sleeveless shirts and shorts on a not-so-warm day. It took them two hours to decide what to buy with their birthday budget of 10 Swiss Francs (about 8 US dollars).

In the end, they refused all suggestions from us parents – from swimming fins, to a ping pong set, etc, and opted for a little stuff toy instead (much to Dad’s dismay and mom’s delight). As for the tooth brushing, it went pretty well despite a mishap with the toothpaste.

It was just 6 years ago, they were born premature and much smaller than normal babies. I remember the weeks when they had to stay in the neonatal clinic. I remember how we lived through post partum depression, the superhot summer of 2003, four months of breast milk pumping, countless sleepless nights, tummy aches, teething pains, and respiratory tract infections. Those are the times when I had my doubts whether I could make it. But then I also remember the first smiles, the first steps, the first words, all the other “firsts”. My six years have come and gone. And I guess I’m allowed to say: we made it! Good night, my babies.

I am convinced that my toddler thinks she is a rock star. At just a few weeks past two years old, she has trashed so many rooms you’d think she is on tour, but her diva behavior doesn’t end there. We keep some of her clothes in a dresser in our living room, which we keep shut but, being a toddler, she has some sort of intrinsic need to open the drawers. She then proceeds to toss out every article of clothing from the dresser and strew them all over the living room — usually at the most inconvenient times, like when company is coming over.

Meal times are no different. If she doesn’t like a certain food, she is sure to either toss it over the edge of her high chair tray or hurl it at the wall. I simply cannot count the number of times she has overturned a bowl of food onto the floor, or dumped it onto the tray and then grabbed it with her hands. Same with her water glass – she loves to pour the water anywhere but inside her mouth.

Fortunately, she also enjoys cleaning up. One of her favorite activities is washing her hands, and she almost always willingly scrubs her hands at the sink, especially before and after meals. She usually helps with cleaning the living room as well, and is most likely to do so when an incentive is introduced. For a little Elmo or Kai Lan time, she will pick up her clothes and jam them into the dresser drawer one at a time, but only after she has tried on a few of them in ways they weren’t intended to be worn. She will take a blouse and wear it like a skirt, or a onesie and pull it over her head like a shawl. Then she’ll find a pair of my shoes and put them on her feet, usually with one on backwards. She’s a rock star, all right – one with a very, um, striking sense of style.

Does your toddler have rock star behavior?

It was a cool spring day here, which I love. We are both ultra-fair skinned and burn so easily, so the summer hat battle and sunscreen tantrum were not an issue. It was a perfect day to be outside, so we drove a little way out of the city and went for a hike.

Just like almost every baby, my toddler loves to be outside, especially after being deprived of sunlight all winter. The playground at our local park is his favorite place that we visit regularly. The slide and the swings are fun, digging in the sand is fun, and he loves to collect leaves and find bugs and put twigs in a sand dump truck.

Man-made outdoor fun is fun, but even better is the real outdoors. We drove out to a country park which has a hill that rises over the river and hiked up it. I say hike, it’s about a quarter-mile to the top, which is not really a hike, unless you are three and have short legs.

Toddler had a big grin on his face all the way up. There were tree roots to climb over, fallen trees to balance on and walk along, piles of dead leaves to crunch, woodpeckers to spot, rocks to pick up, other people’s dogs to pet, wild flowers to smell, ferns to stroke, mud to stand in, and lots and lots more things to investigate.

I’ve been taking him hiking since he was a baby and he rode in a sling and I hiked. I’m hoping that he’ll grow up to love and respect nature and the outdoors, but right now I’m enjoying that he has so much fun being outside.

Have you ever taken your baby out into the country? If you haven’t, and get a chance to take your baby out into the country, or if you have woodland or parkland near you, then go. It’s so different to being outside in your yard or in a playground, and babies and toddlers usually love it.

So after looking at the view and having a snack, we started back down. He needed a ride some of the way, and I’m glad he’s still just about small enough to carry. Then he got bored being carried and walked the rest of the way himself. Some of the trees were dropping seed pods that looked like furry caterpillars, which he loved, and then we found a tunnel that lead into the rocks to wonder who lived inside. We thought it might be a Gruffalo.

Back to the car, and he was fast asleep in his carseat within minutes of hitting the road. A good sign of a happily exhausted toddler!

So that was my Day, and it was lovely.

My pocketbook is glad that I had a boy. Because if I’d has a girl, I’d be spending a fortune on adorable little outfits and cute dresses and lovely little shirts and hats and hair bows and leggings and sweet little shoes.  My son has six pairs of pants and seven shirts and various socks and a pair of rain boots and a pair of sneakers and a couple of sweaters and that’s about it.

It’s hard to resist baby shoes. Baby shoes are precious little things and what mom isn’t planning to keep baby’s first pair of shoes? I have the first pair of shoes my son walked in, in the box that I have his keepsakes in. They are K-mart Spiderman sandles, and as you might guess, I’m not planning to get them bronzed.

Little babies don’t really need one of the things on that list: shoes.

Non-mobile babies don’t need shoes at all, just socks or booties on a cold day. Crawlers need knee protection much more than foot protection – pants with an extra layer in the knee, or babylegs or a similar product are more useful than shoes.

Then babies learning to walk are more often hindered by shoes than helped. If baby insists on practicing outdoors, then shoes are necessary, but at home, barefoot or socked feet are best to allow baby’s feet to learn to support her best.

And even toddlers are best off barefoot – at home, or at a safe location. Shoes, even the best designed, and even the cutest, affect baby’s balance and the growth and development of the foot, all of which happen best and most naturally when baby is barefoot.

But baby needs to walk outdoors, so what shoes are best? Flexible but protective soles in lightweight shoes are the best for baby feet. Pedipeds, See Kai Run, and StrideRite all do a good job of protecting baby feet, and have cute-as-a-button designs too.

How do even the tiniest babies know that your attention is not 100% on them? Telephones are fascinating to little children. The phone rings, mom drops everything to go and talk to it. Kids are curious, what is it about this little plastic object with the buttons on that has so much power over mom?

And babies and toddlers also don’t like something that mom obeys without question. After all, when a toddler has been whining for another cup of juice for twenty minutes and isn’t getting any, it seems highly unfair that the phone gets responded to immediately after it rings.

So the strategy adopted by many babies is to not take it lying down. Oh no. Baby is not going to let the phone win.

Take the last time I tried to call my bank to attempt to sort out a complicated and boring mess with my account, I’ll spare you the details. Toddler and Daycare Baby collectively object to me not looking at them.

Toddler starts a pterodactly impression, skrark skrark skrark. Daycare Baby copies Toddler, peep peep peep. Toddler starts jumping off the couch and landing with a bang on the floor. Daycare Baby eggs him on by banging blocks on the floor. Toddler starts pulling out all the bloody annoying electronic toys that play music and animal sounds and encouraging phrases. Daycare Baby loves annoying electronic toys. Daycare Baby starts trying to climb up my leg and Toddler copies her. I’m sitting on the couch and I have Toddler sitting on one foot and Daycare Baby sitting on the other foot, both chirruping away.

So I didn’t get the bank account mess cleared up and I say goodbye and hang up. Daycare Baby and Toddler instantly fall silent and look up at me with big wide innocent eyes.

Then they crawl and scamper off to play with cotton balls and socks and fluff from under the bed and other zero decibel items.

Saving important phone calls for naptime or other baby-free times is a good strategy, but that’s not always possible. And no matter how clever or engaging a distraction we can think up, it’s really hard to distract a baby or toddler that has decided that he/she needs attention from mommy NOW.

Do you have any tips or tricks for talking on the phone with babies around?

I have a toddler son, a daycare baby girl, and my boyfriend’s five-year-old daughter here, most and some of the time respectively, so we have plenty of “girl” and “boy” toys. There is plastic food and toy kitchen equipment, dollies and princess crowns. And there are trucks, trains, rocks, and plastic frogs.

I’ve never had any intention of only buying “boy” toys for my son. I bought him a dolly when he found one in Target and I’m happy that he likes putting on my pink sandals and flip flopping around the house. And if Daycare Baby wants to play with trucks, I’m very encouraging.

But it’s strange how babies tend to gravitate towards toys designed for their gender, even when toys for the other gender are available. Daycare Baby loves stuffed animals and dollies. Toddler loves trains and building railroads and is currently obsessed with plastic flies.

And it’s curious how girls play with boy toys in their way. And boys do the same with girl toys.

Daycare baby took a dolly and a plastic horse for a ride in a dump truck this morning, and she’ll cuddle trains.

Toddler had a putting-things-to-bed phase, but it was putting rocks and fire trucks to bed. And he’ll spend an afternoon building a railroad because he found just the thing to wear to construct it: a ballet tutu.

And just now, Toddler is playing with the kitchen set. What is he pretending to cook? Frog in frog spew. And yes, that’s spew, not stew.

I’ve never been the kind of person to refer to the dog as my furry baby, or buy her outfits, or attempt to carry her around in a fluffy pink crystal embellished dog handbag.  Still, I love my dog and I think she’s a bit fond of me, in a “oh, there’s that person who walks me and puts food in my bowl” way.

So when I got pregnant, I wasn’t too worried that the dog would feel like she was replaced and get upset or jealous of the baby. And she wasn’t, as long as she kept getting food and walks.  Well, there were a few instances when I was especially sleep deprived with a newborn and the dog was hungry and my brain couldn’t work out what she wanted. Dog barks. I look at her dimly.  Dog stands by her empty food bowl and whines. The gears start to turn slowly in my mind. Dog tries to hack her way into the dog food bin. Oh! Food. Yes. That only took about five minutes to work out.

And so things went smoothly, until the baby started crawling. Do you know what the most fascinating thing in the whole world to a crawling baby is? Dog or cat food bowls. No toy can compete. Mom and dad are dull in comparison. There’s water to splash, either squishy wet food or interesting kibble (yum), dog cooties and dog drool, and the dog or cat will appear and query what baby is up to, plus mom will scream and remove baby which is the best way to make a baby want to do it again.

The dog (or cat) is also a bewitching creature. I have a theory that babies with a pet in the home start crawling earlier than those who don’t, because they want to be like the dog.

And they feel good too. Tail to pull, fur to grab, ears to poke fingers in, whiskers to yank. Sharp claws and teeth do not mix well with delicate baby skin so babies must always always always be supervised around animals and that includes the gentle creature that you’ve had since she was a puppy/kitten and who has never hurt a fly. Any animal can snap or scratch if baby is hurting or annoying them.

I’m currently trying to teach Daycare Baby to be gentle with our dog. The routine goes like this. Daycare Baby crawls up to dog, attempts to whack dog in the face. I grab her and hold her hand and stroke the dog gently. “Gentle, gentle” I say. So far, this has not worked.

It took my toddler son a while to understand the concept of “gentle” so I know that I have to persevere and try to protect the dog as best I can until she does get it.

Did I say that my toddler son understood the concept of “gentle”? Yes, I did, and he does understand. But one caveat: he understands but he’s quite capable of pretending he doesn’t. He’s also much faster than me and has pulled the dog’s ears several times. Toddlers are rarely being mean when they hurt animals, there’s no malice when they pull tails, they are interested in the reaction it gets, and it’s often a good one from the animal and the parent.

So my policy with toddler and the dog is keeping calm, removing him from the dog and quietly but firmly telling him that he’s hurting the dog when he does that, and he must not pull her ears or throw things at her or poke her.

That one is taking some time to work too, but he’s getting better. And the spontaneous moment of kindness to the dog – stroking gently, wanting to help feed her – make me hopeful that he’ll grow up and be nice to animals.

Apparently, it’s not because they want to make us tear out our hair.  Researchers at  the University of Colorado have been studying toddlers and older children, and they’ve decided that toddlers just don’t think the way adults and older children do.

Toddlers live in the present, as the parent of any toddler knows very well. Only what’s happening right now matters to a two or three year old. Trying to explain to a toddler that if they can’t leave their current dollhouse project soon, then there won’t be enough time to go to the park before dinner, is an exercise in futility.

So why can’t toddlers understand that there will be consequences of their actions? Or that what happens now affects what happens in the future? And why don’t they believe us when we say that yes, they really do need their coat on or they will be cold outside?

The researchers aren’t really sure, and they don’t have much helpful advice in getting your toddler to put their coat on. It’s part of the brain’s development process, and gradually children learn to consider what will happen in the future. And then they turn into adults and spend too much time stressing about the future.

But right now, I guess us parents just have to appreciate that our little ones just don’t have a grasp of planning for the future. When we ask our toddlers to do something, we are often asking them to think about something that is going to happen, and toddlers find that very difficult or impossible to understand. And that’s why they can be so resistant or uncooperative when we tell them not to put their fingers in the door hinge or they will get squashed.

If diaper bags were accurately named, they should really be called diaper-and-spare-clothes bags. Because babies need diapers, but small children of all ages go through clothes faster than fashionistas. I should know this by now, but as you’ll see, I don’t.

Today is a typical day. I took the kids out, three of them, mine (2),  Daycare Baby (1) and Boyfriend’s Daughter (5).  We went to a neighborhood coffee shop that has

1. toys
2. caffeine
3. cakes

So it appeals equally to all four of us. How dirty can your kids get at a coffee shop? Well.

We are in the middle of a spring thaw and on the way in, there was a puddle blocking the sidewalk that we could have tiptoed through, but the two walking children went SPLASH SPLASH SPLASH through it. Get into the coffee shop, and it’s a very very kid friendly place, full of other moms and kids, so it’s wet socks off, snacks for the kids, cappuccino with an extra shot (just coffee but i’d have been game for something stronger) for me.

Hang damp socks over the back of my chair and chat to a mom friend who’s there too. She’s pregnant with her second baby so we are discussing how moms deal with more than one baby. With the assistance of much caffeine, and wailing/letting off steam/comradeship of other moms in cyberspace.  I look at the kids and my toddler is missing one boot.

Boyfriend’s daughter helpfully takes on the task of finding the boot because Toddler claims to not know what happened to it. This always baffles me about toddlers. If you lost a shoe in the middle of your day, you would notice, no? Suddenly, one of your Uggs is gone. Would you not remark on it? Not if you are a toddler. Toddler is busy with a dump truck and she goes around the other moms asking if they have seen the errant boot. No-one has. The matter is complicated because Toddler threw a fit as we were leaving and refused to wear matching boots. The moms assume we are looking for a blue boot when the missing one is actually a green frog rainboot. Daycare baby eventually happens across the boot in the back of a playhouse so I stop her chewing it and return it to the foot. Boyfriend’s daughter goes around the moms and lets them know that the boot has been found. They gamely tell her they are grateful for the update.

Meanwhile Daycare Baby destroys a banana cake and needs a new shirt, then her diaper leaks and she needs new onesie and pants, then it’s time to go home for lunch.

The children pause to attack a large stuffed Barney that is lying prone on the floor then we are out of there.

Oh, the puddle. The temperature is rising and the puddle is more like a lagoon now. Toddler launches ker-splash and is soaked from the knees down. Boyfriend’s daughter starts kicking the water on Toddler.  Toddler tries to kick her back but gets himself more wet. Toddler jumps up and down, splashing Daycare baby in her carseat. I promise I didn’t give them any caffeine. It’s one of those things that they look so happy to be splashing in the muddy water that I don’t want to stop them but it’s also ice cold and they are getting very dirty. So I wade in (Ugg boots are not waterproof) and get them out and we get in the car.

Toddler’s pants and sweatshirt are soaked and his boots are full of water, so I strip those off and cover the semi-naked child with a blanket in the carseat, that he throws at Boyfriend’s daughter. She’s not as wet, being taller and better at kicking, but her shoes are dripping and her leggings are a little wet. She starts stripping (when do they ever learn modesty?) and takes off her leggings, thankfully we are parked on a very quiet residential street. It’s OK! she says. I’m wearing a SKORT! Well, phew. I wonder if five-year-olds wake up and think, I might splash in a puddle today, I’d better wear a skort?

So I returned home with three dirty and semi-dressed, but happy children and that’s what matters, right? Wake up night-shift-working boyfriend and have him come out to our parking lot to carry our shoe-less children across our resident mud.

Then in the afternoon, the sun was shining and the temperature was pushing the high fourties, a very warm day for early March in Minnesota, so we went out again to the playground. The playground equipment was standing in a puddle of snow slush, water or mud so as you can imagine, everyone was delighted to be outside, and predictably, got filthy again. But that’s what baths are for!

Depending on where you live, this might be a no-brainer and you ride the bus all the time. Or, you may have never even considered taking the bus, maybe because the last time you did was to school, and because cars are so much more convenient. Yes, you, and I and most moms drive a mobile diaper bag. If you are the second type, you should reconsider taking the bus with your baby.

I live in a small city where it works to drive my car to many places, but we like riding the bus too. I lived in London for several years and never got out of the habit of using buses and trains. It’s greener, often cheaper than the price of gas, there’s no hassle with parking. The negatives are waiting for the bus, limited capacity for lugging baby gear around and all the weirdos that seem to ride buses.  I also lived in California, where people will sell everything before they let their car go, and I’ve seen some of the weirdest weirdos. My local Minnesota weirdos seem pretty tame in comparison to California and London’s finest.

Riding the bus is a great experience for babies and toddlers. My son has loved buses since he turned one. Before he could walk, I’d put him in his sling, and take him out on the bus. He loved to travel without being strapped into a carseat, he loved going forward and to look out of the windows. There are all those weirdos, I mean interesting people, to look at. Then as he got a bit older, he got really, really excited to discover that if you stick your arm out at a bus stop, the bus stops.  He loves going up and down the stairs on the bus. And pulling the cord to stop the bus. He thinks he’s so smart that he can spot bus stops. (I do too.) Now he’s learning numbers, he loves to read the numbers on the buses coming up the road and trying to spot our bus.

Now I’m taking him, and Daycare Baby out on the bus together. He walks, I hold his hand, and Daycare Baby rides in the sling and just loves to look at all the interesting people.

The ideal transportation plan for us to combine riding the bus with driving the car when the bus isn’t convenient or it’s -20. As well as cost and environmental reasons, taking public transit is a good example to set. I don’t suppose that everyone will be able to drive a car everywhere they want once our kids reach driving age, so if they think riding the bus is normal then they’ll be one of the ones better able to cope.  And your kids will likely think it’s a whole lot of fun too.

I just got my son into bed. I think I need a large glass of red wine, it’s been a long day.

He’s almost three and some days he still naps, some days he doesn’t. It depends on how well he slept the night before, how busy a morning we had, what time he got up in the morning, and some random toddler factor. Most of the time, when we go out in the morning he’ll nap in the afternoon. Or if we are at home in the morning, he won’t nap and he’ll be fine.

Then there are the days when we have a busy morning but he won’t nap. These days are much less fine. Take today, for example. We went to the children’s museum in our town, full of bubble tanks, slides, play houses, mice, and other crazy fun excitement for the under fives.  After playing  for an hour, Daycare Baby did exactly as she was supposed to and fell asleep in her sling around her naptime so I carried her around the museum while she slept.

Toddler was having too much fun to stop. Daycare Baby woke up, we all had lunch, then back to playing. All of a sudden it was well past his naptime and I could see the overtired, hyperactive look in Toddler’s eyes.  Enter the challenge of getting him home without a tantrum, or at least not too much of a tantrum.

The trouble with overtired babies and toddlers is that they can be so cute. They don’t want to stop to sleep and they know that being adorable and funny makes mom or dad laugh and can delay the inevitable nap. Toddler is singing and dancing and laughing and hugging me and entertaining Daycare Baby and telling all the other girl toddlers in the museum that he likes their dresses.

When Daycare Baby is overtired she’s adorable, cooing and blowing kisses and hugging the dog. Then trying to get her to sleep is an exercise in tearing out your hair.

I bumped into one of our friends and her toddler, trying to get her son to leave too. Realizing that if one toddler detonated, the other one would go to (like dynamite) we created a distraction and separated them. Soon I hear a tantrum in the lobby although that could be any one of the overtired toddlers in the place.

We do manage to get towards the door, and Toddler starts whining. We go for our coats, and Toddler starts trying to run back to the exhibits. I catch him and the inevitable wailing begins. We do manage to get out with a fairly minor tantrum then he almost falls asleep on the bus home. It’s not a long enough ride for a decent sleep so I have to wake him up, more wailing, then it’s far too late to take a nap and I have to deal with an overtired toddler for the couple of hours before bedtime.

Typical overtired toddler: we have shouting, slapping, pinching, spitting, annoying the dog, refusing to read books or do anything quiet, ignoring me, shouting NO! if I ask him anything, wailing if Daycare Baby touches any of his things, and general hyperactive obnoxious behaviour.

At least bedtime was an hour earlier than normal! Where’s my corkscrew?

This is really my fault for not keeping a closer eye on the time, I should have foreseen this kind of afternoon after a busy morning and no nap. Sometimes things get away from us busy moms though, and we are all going to deal with overtired babies and toddlers from time to time.

But the most important thing to remember if you are dealing with an overtired baby or toddler is that sleep will remedy everything. A good nap or a good night’s sleep, and your manic infant will become his or her sweet self again, and all will be back to normal.

One of the delightful things about babies is that they just keep getting better and better. When my son turned one, I remember thinking how wonderful and how much fun he was, and surely this was the best it got? And then he got a little older, and I remember thinking how wonderful and how much fun he was, and this had to be the best it got? But now I still think how wonderful and how much fun he is. He just keeps getting more interesting and more amazing, and more fun to be around, Bar the odd tantrum, and his continuing quest to find perilous activities. At least it keeps me on my toes.

What’s my favorite thing about the kids in my life right now?

My toddler, almost three: he can talk. I can have a conversation with him, often a surreal conversation, and he’s adorable to listen to. He picks up random words and uses them in an interesting and totally candid way. Daycare baby is a bag of potatoes! My peas are very green indeed! Mommy stop singing you are very obnoxious! I love driving and listening to him chatter in the carseat in the back. It’s so fascinating to know what’s going on in his head.

My daycare baby, just turned one: how fascinating everything is. Take her to Target and it’s like Disneyland. Give her a box of spoons and it’s like treasure. I took her to the zoo and her eyes were round with amazement at the sea lions and the zebras. She even likes me singing.

My boyfriend’s daughter and toddler’s best friend, five: her unquenchable enthusiasm for her projects. Once she’s into something, it’s so fun to watch her involve herself and anyone else who comes nearby into it. Our whole house was full of pretend aliens a few days ago (we all had to pretend) and her art projects are a legend in their own time.

What is your favorite thing about your baby or toddler right now?

We parents often marvel at how much personality our babies have, and that such small people can have such strong opinions on various matters.

Music is a divisive issue in my house. I love music and so does my toddler son, and our daycare baby.

I’m psyched about Daycare Baby’s musical taste. Daycare Baby is either being very polite or has strikingly similar musical taste to me. She likes the all the indie rock, punk, and electronic music that I do. Anything with beats and bass is good for Daycare Baby. We were dancing to the Ramones, Radiohead and Jay-Z, a bit of Bhangra then a little progressive house this morning.  I don’t think she’s being polite, as we all know when babies don’t just have opinions, they have opinions and we know exactly when something is not to her liking!

My toddler has much different taste which has no overlap with ours. He thinks that we have no taste and would much rather listen to Hannah Montana, the Barney theme tune, Nellie the Elephant, and kid’s music in general. He loves to sing songs, and make up his own words to them (Baa baa black frog, Have you any socks?) but dislikes anything aimed at the over 12s.

So what do we listen to?

I found a great radio station that caters to all of us. Wonderground Radio, from Minnesota Public Radio, is a digital radio station that streams for free over the internet. Wonderground plays modern, upbeat music mixed up with children’s songs. It’s commercial free and we all love it.

Children’s radio stations tend to drive adults up the wall after a while, but this station has enough adult music and enough children’s tunes to keep my little raver baby and classically inclined toddler happy.

What is your baby’s favorite style of music? What do you listen to in your house?

Point, and clap, and gesture, and do the hand actions to intsy-bitsy spider. According to researchers in Chicago, when you do, you’ll be helping your child develop language skills.

Parents who gesture with meaning when they are talking to their babies and toddlers boost their child’s language development. Apparently, waving bye-bye as well as saying “goodbye” helps babies learn communication skills.

At 14 months, toddlers who had parents who made more gestures when talking were better communicators, including making meaningful gestures themselves. And amongst the same children at age 4, the ones who made more gestures as toddlers now had bigger vocabularies and better language comprehension skills.

This isn’t baby sign language, beloved craze of the yummy mummy set. It’s natural gestures that go along with everyday talking to your baby.  But proponents of baby sign language seem to have one thing right. Babies can make meaningful gestures long before they can speak words. If babies interact with their parents and caregivers using gestures before they talk, they start to learn communication earlier and this seems to give them a head start in learning verbal communication.

So hold your hands wide apart to illustrate “big”, lift your arms over your head for “up”, wiggle your fingers to make caterpillars, or do whatever gestures seem to go naturally with whatever you are talking to your baby about. Have fun, and it seems like you’ll encourage your baby’s language development.

My toddler has a new obsession: baking. He loves making cookies, muffins, and baking cakes. Well, what he really loves is playing with the ingredients, eating the ingredients, and generally making a mess. And eating the final result is fun too.

Today we tried cupcakes, me, toddler, and daycare baby. Toddler stands on his little chair, daycare baby is one but she’s tiny so she can sit on the counter top. They poke the flour, taste the flour, spit the flour out. Both of them want to eat all the sugar and most of the butter before it gets mixed. Toddler loves to measure things and pour things into bowls. We’d have to add 47 teaspoons of baking powder if I let him have his way. I’m just trying to ignore the little fingers in the mouth and then back into the mixing bowls, and that they have both sneezed into the sugar, and all the other baby slime that is getting into the batter…

Both of them love eggs. Toddler likes to crack eggs. We need two, he wants to put the whole box in. Baby wants to eat the eggs whole. I’m one of those city types and while I could have sworn that cows are for making skinny grande mochaccinos, I do know which end of a chicken an egg comes from and that they are not especially hygienic. I try to stop baby sucking the egg. Baby wails and throws egg on the floor. I wish we had a dog. Meanwhile toddler has been trying to crack eggs, and another one goes on the floor.

Baby twigs that we are adding lots of things to one bowl, so helps by attempting to add random objects to the cake mix – all the spoons, cheerios, the baking powder packet, etc. Toddler is trying his best to spoon the cake mix into the cupcake pan. The recipe says that it makes 12 cupcakes. After spillage, we get 10. Not bad!  The mix is slightly unevenly distributed but I don’t want to hurt his feelings or seem unappreciative of his hard work so I don’t try to even it up and we bake them like that.

Cupcakes go in the oven for 20 minutes, I clean up the egg on the floor and the cake batter and flour and wash the bowls and spoons and change everyone’s clothes. Mine included.  There’s a reason they take 20 minutes to bake, it’s the same time that it takes to clean up two small children and one mom.

Cupcakes come out, there’s giant cupcakes and teeny ones. Toddler wants “dat big one!” Ah, so that was his plan. If you only get one cupcake at lunchtime, make it one GREAT BIG cupcake.

We decorate the cakes with a Valentine’s day theme – we squidge on white frosting, add pink-and-red sprinkles, and enjoy the results of our hard work. Yum!

On Tuesday, it was Family Literacy Day in Canada. I took my daughter to an Early Years Centre to participate in a Family Literacy Day program where they read and acted out a number of stories, rhymes and songs. We both had a great time. So did my 4 month old baby!

We were sent home inspired to read every day (something I have always done anyhow) to our children and to engage them in as many literacy related activities as possible.

Later that day, out came the chart paper, newspaper flyers, scissors, glue and markers. We taped the chart paper to the floor, chose a letter of the alphabet to focus on (my daughter chose the letter B) and we brainstormed different words that started with “B”. After we wrote down the words, we also hunted through the flyers for objects that started with “B”. I encouraged her to look for words that started with “B”, but she wasn’t interested in doing that.

As per usual, the activity turned into a child led activity, which was fine by me as it still focused on literacy which was the purpose of the activity in the first place, oh and of course to have fun!

Some other literacy focused activity ideas are:

Letters and words are all around us. Reading is not simply opening a book and reading the words. For children, reading involves exposure to letters and words, looking at pictures and describing what they see and drawing pictures and explaining what they drew.

Try to read with your child each and every day. Every book counts!