Now that we have two children, my husband and I like to think we’ve figured a few things out. We know how to diaper the kids so that they (usually) don’t leak. We can tell when they’re hungry – and when they’re just acting up because they’re kids. But most of all, we’ve figured out a few ways to save ourselves some money – that don’t include asking the grandparents to buy them all the clothes, diapers and food that they need (although that would indeed be a money saver).

Here are a few of the things we do.

• Save up and make “bigger” items special gifts. We’d love to have a season pass to the zoo and to the local YMCA, but they’re not cheap. For holidays or birthdays, we’ve asked family and friends to give toward these memberships instead of buying clothes or other items. That way, the gift will be used – and appreciated – all year.

• Buy used items. This one is a real money saver for clothing and other items that we seem to go though quickly. Winter coats and other gear are especially nice to buy used, either at consignment stores specializing in baby items or second hand shops. Be cautious, however, when buying used cribs, toys or other equipment – inspect them carefully for signs of wear and make sure all pieces are there. In addition, be sure to thoroughly wash or clean any used item before the kids touch it. Never buy used car seats – you don’t know if they have been recalled or ever been in an accident.

• Buy in bulk. Purchasing diapers in bulk saves money. Better yet, switch to cloth diapers. They cost more up front, but we have saved a great deal of money in the long run with using cloth diapers – especially since we have used them on two babies.

• Make it yourself. Instead of purchasing baby foods in jars, I try to make baby food whenever possible. Steam some extra vegetables and blend them into a smooth puree for baby. Many play items can also be made at home for far cheaper than they cost to buy, such as play dough and finger paints from kitchen pantry items.

• Take advantage of Free Offers! You can find a wealth of free offers, samples, and coupons on the internet. Many sites, especially Babies Online, work hard to bring you the very best free baby deals available. Often times these deals are brought to you with zero obligation.

• Playgrounds are free. While it’s nice to have your own play equipment in the back yard, it’s not truly a necessity. We like to take the kids down to the neighborhood playground – not only is it free, but it’s also a nice way to meet other kids – and parents.

While having kids is by no means cheap, there are some ways to save money. What’s your favorite money saving tip?

Minnesotans love yard sales. Perhaps it’s the local thrifty, practical Scandinavian heritage, but every weekend from now until fall neighborhoods here are bustling with yard sales. I expect it’s the same where you live now that spring is here.

As a new Minnesotan, I love yard sales just as much as the long term residents. Yard sales are my favorite place to shop for my son. Clothes, toys, and gear for children are among the best buys at yard sales.

You can get some wonderful bargains, but shop carefully. Yard sales are one place where the old adage Caveat Emptor – buyer beware – truly applies.

Inspect everything carefully, especially things for babies, and anything that a child could get hurt in if it’s defective or broken, like a swing, or a baby carrier.

Things to avoid are older toys which would have been made before modern safety standards. Same goes for cribs, clothing, and other gear.

Battery operated things should only be bought if your child will still love if it doesn’t operate. The batteries might be dead, or the thing might be broken.

My favorite bargains? An exersaucer for $5, which he lived in for about four months, and a Baby Bjorn carrier for 50 cents. And the very best buy? The free toys and extra things that a seller threw in when we bought an armful of other things. We got a little red wagon free with a bunch of books and my son still loves towing things around in it over a year later.

My friend lives in what can only be described as a “McMansion.”  I’ve heard that term applied to huge houses that have entirely too much space and impressive features, usually including two or three SUVs parked in the spacious garage.

A couple of years ago she was an avid consumer. She would pack her baby up in the stroller and walk through the mall, buying whatever caught her eye. At the grocery store, she would buy mostly prepackaged foods that would save her time even though they were more expensive than the raw foods that she could have fashioned into meals for her family. Her family had the money, so why not enjoy it?

Nowadays things are a little different. She still lives in that same McMansion, but her SUV has been traded in for a more economical and environmentally-friendly vehicle. She grows fruits and vegetables in her spacious yard and buys groceries that are in a more original state. I don’t think she has step foot in the mall for some time and when she does go shopping she’s carrying reusable cloth bags.

It’s not like her husband lost his job or anything, but I think she saw what other people were going through and heard all the alarmist news stories about the economy and she realized that she just can’t assume that everything is always going to be okay. Combine this with the growing popularity of going green, and I think my friend has had a bona fide transformation.

I know I’ve changed the way I spend money too, both because of the recession and because of the environment. I didn’t start out with a McMansion or an SUV, but there was certainly room for improvement nonetheless. For example, when the weather starts to get warm it’s not unusual for ants to start finding their way into our dining room. Usually this elicits a panicked call to the local exterminator who comes over and sprays pesticides all over the house and in the yard. After doing a little research about the effect these chemicals can have on the environment – and on the health of my kids – I found out that there are natural ways to stop the barrage of ants. When I saw the first few ants crawling around a few days ago I staved off my urge to call an exterminator and instead did what I had read: Sprinkle some paprika where you see the ants and it will repel them.  It seemed entirely too simple, but it has been effective so far.  Not only is it much more environmentally friendly, but I saved the usual $80 I give to the bug guy.

Almost all of my friends are making similar changes that happen to be concurrently good for their finances and the environment. Most of them have started bringing canvas bags to grocery stores and hardly any of them drive gas-guzzlers anymore, or at least they certainly aren’t buying new ones. Organic fare is becoming more and more common as snacks at playdates, and the same moms who always dressed their babies in the newest designer clothes are now (gasp!) buying clothes at consignment stores for their kids.

I’m assuming it isn’t just my social circle that is going green and saving money. What have you been doing?

This weekend my daughter and I enjoyed the springtime weather by spending some time in the garden. While she is too young to help with some tasks – such as knowing what is a weed and what is a plant that Mom intends to be there – she is good at a few things. This time around, she helped me to pick some of the asparagus that is starting to poke out of the ground.

Each stalk that was up to her knees (about a foot tall), whether as wide around as one of her markers or thin as a pencil, was ready to pick. Asparagus is easy for kids to pick because it naturally snaps where it should be picked – a few inches above the ground. So she happily stomped around the garden, snapping asparagus stalks and holding as many as she could in her hands.

Gardening is a great way to get kids involved with nature, as well as to learn about where foods come from. During one of my first outings into the garden with my own mom, I quickly learned what a ripe tomato looked like and managed to never again pick a not so ripe one. I also learned what happens when a seed is planted and watered, and what a joy it can be to grow foods that you can later eat and share with others.

Gardening can teach kids many other skills as well – math skills, such as addition, subtraction, and even fractions; colors; measurements; and more. That day, I counted with my daughter the number of asparagus stalks she has picked, and also walked around the garden and pointed out the colors of various items. It’s fun to see the garden through her eyes and experience the miracle of nature as kids do.

In these tough economic times, it pays to plant a garden – not only because you and your family can enjoy the freshness of eating fruits and vegetables only your hands have touched, but because it’s a wonderful experience for kids as well.

Our toddler loves to hide. Whether it’s pulling a blanked over her head and walking around like a miniature quilted ghost or sitting under the table, she loves to be hidden – and to suddenly jump out at us. Sometimes, you can just walk past the table she is underneath and hear a little giggle coming from it. Look under the table, and there she is – laughing and smiling and thinking she has pulled one over on us.

Now that the weather is warmer, we spend more time outdoors, where, sadly, she has no place to hide. Our backyard is a big open area with nary a tree to hide behind. So this year, as I was gathering up the various seeds I needed to plant our garden, I happened upon some sunflower seeds. Sunflowers are incredibly easy to grow – I’ve grown tall ones from simply planning the sunflower seeds picked out of the birdseed mix we buy – and grow tall and cheery in the summer sun.

A row or a semi circle of sunflowers would also make an excellent fort for our daughter. Simply find a sunny spot in the yard, plant the seeds and water generously. Keep an eye on the seedlings and water as needed, and in several weeks the sunflowers will begin to get taller. By the time summer arrives, the flowers just might be tall enough to hide our little girl – or at least make a fun area for her to play in while her father and I are tending to the garden or doing work around the yard.

Sunflowers are easy for even the non gardener to grow, but you could try any tall flower or plant. Hollyhocks, foxglove or even corn would work just as well. Try planting a “green” fort for your little ones — it’s simple, inexpensive and sure to be a hit!

My husband and I bought a family car long before we decided to start trying to have a baby.  It wasn’t a minivan or anything, but the PT Cruiser was much more family-friendly than the Eclipse that my husband drove to and from work.

When my daughter came along we were glad we had the family car because although her rear-facing car seat fit in the Eclipse it was a very tight squeeze.  Pretty soon my husband started hinting that it may be time to trade in the small car so we could have two cars that comfortably fit all three of us.  I resisted for a few reasons, but mainly because the car was paid off and I really wasn’t looking to deal with a new baby in addition to a car payment.  I managed to stave off my husband’s desire for a new car for quite some time, especially when we realized (much to my delight) that once my daughter was forward-facing we all fit into the smaller car quite nicely.

Then came the second baby.  My husband started talking about a new car again, because we knew that all four of us would have problems squeezing into the Eclipse and the PT Cruiser seemed to have a new and interesting problem arise every time I took it in for a routine oil change.  Still, I resisted, part way because I didn’t want a car payment and also because I knew that we weren’t quite finished with demolishing the insides of the family car.

I’m a pretty clean person.  I’m usually able to keep things somewhat orderly, so at first it really made me crazy that I wasn’t able to keep the inside of the car clean.  Cheerios, splatters of juice and little pieces of toys that had broken were scattered all over the car.  Infants make small messes in cars, but once the kids start snacking, look out!

I know what you’re thinking.  “I just won’t allow my kids to eat or drink in the car.”  Well, good luck with that.  Sometimes the only thing that will calm a screaming toddler down is a well-timed bag of crackers or a juice box, so it wasn’t long before I relented and let my kids snack in the car.

So, going back to the question of if you should buy a new family car when you’re pregnant or when you have a new baby, I advise you to wait until your kids are just a little bit older.  As long as your car is safe and seats all of you, there really is no reason to rush out and get a bigger car.  Besides, chances are that whatever car you buy is going to get trashed.  Trust me.  When we did finally trade in the PT Cruiser, I was actually mortified to hand over the keys because I knew that the person at the dealership who was tasked to detail the inside of the car would be cursing the day I drove on to the lot.

As for the Eclipse, we sold that to a teenager who lives down the road from us.  Every so often I see him drive by and I really do miss zooming around in that small car.  Then again, at least my new car doesn’t reek of juice.

When I was expecting my first child, I worked in a nursing home.  I really didn’t have to worry about my work clothes because it was pretty basic stuff and not too much room for individuality.

I really never showed until I was around 6 months pregnant.  At that time, I began to search for maternity clothes but our budget was so strained, I simply couldn’t afford to buy too many clothes.  A friend of mine decided to pass along the clothes she had sitting in her attic.  I was thrilled for the clothes!

When my pregnancy ended, my friend told me to just keep the clothes.  I was thrilled and stored them in the attic until my next pregnancy.  The one thing I didn’t consider though was the reality of  the timing of my pregnancies and how that would affect my wardrobe.

For example, I conceived my son a few summers ago.  I didn’t wear maternity clothes until fall, and then I could fit into small or medium outfits.  By the time he was born in spring, I had progressed to large maternity outfits mostly because I had a lot of excess fluid I was carrying.  This year, I began my pregnancy in early December and our child will be born in August.  I have NO summer maternity clothes because I was didn’t need them with my last pregnancy!

Sadly, at my “advanced maternal age”, I am the only one of my friends still bearing babies.  Sharing maternity clothes is not an option.  Oh well…looks like I just may have to go out and buy some NEW maternity clothes.  Part of me feels guilty splurging to buy new clothes when I know this is my last pregnancy.  What a waste of money!  Another part of me tells myself that I am worth that splurge.

What do you think? Did you buy new maternity clothes for yourself during your pregnancy? Did you wear second hand clothes?

I remember the first time I tried to go shopping with my first baby.  I composed a meticulous list and tried to plan it around her nap time so she would fall asleep in the car and would slumber peacefully throughout the shopping trip.  I envisioned triumphantly returning home with a trunk full of groceries and bursting with pride that I could tackle the grocery store while my baby was in tow.

It didn’t happen quite like that.  In fact, she woke up the second I put her carrier in the cart and she screamed through the whole thing except for when I threw my hands up in resignation and plopped down in front of the freezer case to nurse her (true story, really).  When I got home my husband asked me what I had bought and if I remember right I burst into tears and replied with, “I don’t know!” I hadn’t used my coupons and had discarded the shopping list pretty early on in the trip because I couldn’t attend to her while also shopping from a list.

I look back on that with amusement nowadays, mostly because that same baby is now five years old and can actually help me at the store.  I also try to go shopping by myself as much as I can because I find there is a direct correlation to the number of family members I have with me and the total amount I spend on groceries.

For example, the other day I managed to get to the grocery store by myself and wasn’t in any sort of rush.  I wrote a list of groceries I needed for an entire week and was armed with a bunch of coupons.  I took my time, compared prices, and walked out of there with having saved almost $20 in coupons on a $100 grocery bill.

Part of the reason I saved so much money was because I had the time to look at prices since there were no kids to stop from smashing jars or running down the aisle.  I think a lot of it also had to do with the fact that nobody was standing there asking me for treats.  Nobody begged for a certain type of cereal, nobody screamed and pointed at the goldfish crackers, and my husband wasn’t there to glance lovingly at the expensive steaks in the meat department before batting his eyelashes at me in an attempt to get me to buy the pricey meat.

I always save money on groceries when I go alone.  While it’s true that there are many other things I would much rather do when I have the opportunity to have someone else watch my kids, in the long run I know it’s going to save us money.

My brother is moving across the country and decided not to move anything he couldn’t fit into his pick-up truck. He just gave away most of the things he isn’t taking—a big screen TV, a couch, a bed, a stereo receiver, etc. I was a little surprised at his decision, but after chatting for a while I discovered that he belongs to a group called Freecycle, dedicated to the starvation of landfills.

This coincides with an article I read last month in Sunset magazine about a group of friends that decided not to buy anything new for a year except food and healthcare items. It seems like I’ve been bombarded with this message lately, and maybe I need to soothe my conscience.

Whether or not you have enough money to buy everything you want, there is a growing number of people who don’t want to buy everything they want. In a strange way, this makes sense.

I hate throwing stuff away when it’s useful. But I am not a packrat. I’m not going to keep it around just in case I want it next year, nor am I the type to keep it around till next summer’s garage sale. So it goes into the trash most of the time. Sometimes with things like baby clothes I can give them away (but my only friend with a girl right now lives across the country). And sometimes I donate stuff if it’s too good to trash. I’ve tried selling a few things online, but it rarely seems worth the money and effort. And my local “used” mom/baby shop doesn’t pay enough to make it worth selling ($5 for a garbage sack full of excellent condition clothes and a clean booster seat?!)

But since my brother told me about freecycle.org, I can hardly wait to have something to give away. You post a message about what you have, and someone local who needs it comes and gets it. Or you can send a message looking for an item you want. There are few rules: nothing for sale, trade or barter—just free!

So my brother got rid of his things in San Francisco. Then when he sets up his home in Columbus, OH, he’ll just ask for what he needs there. What an idea!

Since babies go through a LOT of stuff in their first year, it seems like a fantastic way to get a lot of use out of something that isn’t worn out. Unless you have a lot of children, swings, bouncers, boppies, exercises and other things just don’t get used up. If you don’t have a friend who can use them, and you aren’t planning on having another little one in the next couple of years, why not give it away? Or maybe you need a highchair? You can find a local freecycle group online. Have fun!

I don’t have a very substantial savings account for retirement.  When I worked before my daughter was born I contributed to my 401(k) like clockwork, but when I came home to be a stay-at-home mom I rolled my funds into an IRA and then let it sit there.  It’s been bruised and battered as the stock market goes up and down, but I haven’t bothered to add any more money to it at all.  Every year around tax time I tell myself I’ll get another IRA going, but I never do it.

On the other hand, both of my kids have college savings accounts that have been in place since they were each three months old.  We have automatic payments every month that go directly from the checking account into the college funds without fail, and slowly but surely the balances in their college funds have started to rival what I have in my retirement account.

Although I know that we’re supposed to save for our kids’ college educations, I also know that I’m not really going about this the right way.  The simple truth is this: My kids can borrow money to go to college, but I can’t borrow money to go into retirement.  If I stay the current course then my kids will go to college with no financial worries – if they choose to go to college – but I’ll be in the poor house when retirement rolls around.

Here is what I should be doing instead: I should automatically contribute to a retirement account for myself while also contributing to my children’s college funds.  Although this will reduce the amount of money they will eventually have to pay for their college educations, it will ensure that I have enough money to fund my eventual retirement.

By the way, if you’re worried about my husband’s retirement fund, don’t.  He’s been contributing 10% of his income to an employer-sponsored retirement account for as long as I can remember.  Apparently I’m the only one in the family who isn’t prepared for the future.

If you’re a stay-at-home parent without an income you can look into a Spousal IRA, but if you’re like me and you’re employed then you have plenty of options for retirement accounts.  Should you save for your baby’s college education? Yes, you should, but you shouldn’t disregard your own financial needs for the future too.

Today, I went shopping with my son.  Most of the “Christmas craziness” has passed and the stores weren’t too crowded.  I did find lots of deals at the different stores.

At Target, little boy clothes were on sale from 30-50% off of regular prices.  I was able to find shirts and pants for $2.75!  I also looked on the clearance rack.  Clothing on this rack was discounted by more than 80%.  The clearance rack had winter clothes, sweatshirts, and other winter items.  My son has grown and needed some warmer clothes.  If I had found a coat in a larger size, I probably would have bought that to save for next year.

I do buy second hand clothing for my children at times at thrift stores to stretch our clothing budget.  However, it was possible to purchase new clothes with discounts like I found today cheaper than I purchase second hand clothes.

The thought of going to the mall, which appeared quite crowded, didn’t appeal too much to me.  I’ve heard that there are many discounts at those stores too.

If you plan on taking advantage of post-Christmas sales, check online to see if you can also print out coupons to maximize your savings even more.

Here’s hoping that you score some great post-Christmas deals this season!

During the busy holiday season, I’ve found that when you need to order specific gifts for kids, like board games, video games, and sports jerseys, it’s best to save yourself the hassle of running around. Instead, place an order online. With these gifts, it’s not the thought that counts—the kids have already done the thinking.

Save your precious time for more interesting things—that is, of course if you’re a shopper, like me. I rummaged through toys at a discount store and found a couple of quality gifts for our baby and my baby nephews. Babies don’t have Christmas lists, so we get to have fun picking out things that will make them laugh, smile or squeal on Christmas morning (and, hopefully interest them for a long time afterwards).

Despite a tight budget this year, Santa is still coming to our house. We’ve decided to skip some gift exchanges between adults. I just have to give something to my sisters, though. I’m spending less on them than usual but putting a little extra thought into their gifts. I bought them soft, snuggly slipper socks, small Yankee candles in a jar and plan on buying them each a box of yummy tea, maybe a holiday flavor or something to help them relax and unwind (they’re busy moms, too). I’ll put it all in a little basket with a tag reading: “Have a warm and cozy winter!” Smaller, thoughtful gifts can have a big impact.

Also, instead of filling the kids’ stockings with a bunch of junky toys, I’m trying to fill them with useful things, for the most part, like Chapstick for my older son who’s always complaining about his chapped lips and sticky notes.

Does anyone else have any tips for smart shopping on a budget this holiday season?

We have never been in the habit of using credit cards to celebrate the true meaning of Christmas. We’ve given more when we had more, and given nothing when we had nothing. As my father said to us during our last Christmas with him, “Your presence is my present.” But most of us know it’s really FUN to give our kids Christmas gifts, and it’s really hard to see just a present or two under the tree.

But the pinch is being felt all around the world this year, and even the North Pole has had to cut back. Malls and other spots where St. Nick usually pops up can’t afford the $125 an hour commanded by the gents with real beards (who knew they made so much?). The Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas–an honest to goodness real union–says bookings are down about half of their usual number this year. Many Santas are commuting long distances to find work. And even when Santa does show up for portrait sessions, many consumers just can’t afford little luxuries like that this holiday season.

Like I said, in my home, we’ve had our ups and downs when it came to gifts. There was a year I gave my husband a new razor and a pair of long underwear; our son got a couple matchbox cars and a new big box of crayons. It’s going to be another one of those years. We’ll be forced to put into practice what we say we really value–time together as a family and celebrating the significance of the religious holiday. Because, in my home as in many others, Santa has been RIFfed this year.

The baby, of course, doesn’t give a hoot about presents. She’ll be delighted by all of the bright paper she can chew and the curling ribbon she’ll try to strangle herself with (see my post about her dangerous obsessions. Thankfully, we had already planned ahead buying a couple things for our son (who turns 12 TODAY), but that book and CD is all he’ll get. And I’m just about finished making homemade gifts for my extended family. It’s a challenge to find things to make that people will use and appreciate, but that’s a post for another day. We won’t be buying gifts for each other this year, nor for my husband’s office mates or for our friends and neighbors. Yet I don’t think the holiday will suffer.

Looking back, no one in my home was disappointed in “The Year of the Razor.”And this year, I don’t think my friends will be offended that they don’t “get” anything. Maybe we all need a lean year to help us remember that it isn’t about the gifts. Maybe we should put the man in red on a long-term leave of absence.

Before I was a mommy, “cooking” meant throwing a frozen pizza into the oven or throwing together some noodles and pasta from a jar.  My husband and I both worked full time so neither one of us really had any time to cook.  Or, perhaps more accurately, we didn’t have the inclination to cook.

After our daughter was born I dabbled a little in cooking but not much since she nursed and then moved on to jarred baby food.  There didn’t seem like much of a reason to pull together a home-cooked meal when it was just my husband and me sitting down to eat it.  Besides, I was tired.

Once my daughter started nibbling on table food I realized that I couldn’t serve up highly processed foods any more.  I figured that if there was a time to start learning to cook, this was it.  I started clipping recipes and through trial and error I became a pretty decent cook.  We eat far more meals at home than we eat at restaurants.  It has saved us a lot of money and I’m pretty sure it’s a lot healthier too. If you play The Grocery Game you stand to save even hundreds more!

The key to being successful with pulling together home-cooked meals is to plan ahead and prepare.  I like to plan my entire week’s dinners all at once.  I sit down and figure out what I’m going to cook and compose my grocery list.  Sometimes – when I’m really on the ball – I plan out the meals according to what coupons I have and what’s on sale.  I also try to only plan meals that feature ingredients that are in season.  For example, you won’t find me making strawberry croissants for breakfast right now when strawberries are over four dollars for one container, but when they come back in season and the price drops to two dollars it will be a common breakfast meal for us.

Planning out meals ahead of time also have the distinct advantage of giving you a glimpse of what you’re eating and figuring out how to make things more healthy.  I usually only put one meal with beef in our weekly dinners, one or two with chicken, one with fish, and the rest are meatless meals.  I also make sure that I’m not relying on pasta meals too much, because that it one ingredient I usually gravitate to.

I can also plan out the meals according to how the week looks.  Hectic nights call for crockpot meals that can be eaten whenever all the activities are over.  Days that I have a lot of work to do and I know I’ll be really tired by dinnertime I plan easy meals, like grilled cheese sandwiches and soup.

I know if I didn’t do this I would spend a lot more time driving through fast food restaraunts because I’m not the kind of mom who can glance at random ingredients in a pantry and pull something delicious together.  If you think planning your weekly menu out is too time-consuming, think of how much time you’ll save from running to the store at the last minute to pick things up for meals.  It saves you time and money.

Eventually my little one will help mommy in the kitchen. Not only will it provide a basis of learning to cook for herself one day, but cooking with your kids also helps to develop motorskills once they reach the preschool age.

It’s common in some circles to pass along clothing that your children have outgrown. We’ve gotten and passed along a lot of clothing over the years and it’s helped our budget considerably. I’m sure that the clothes we’ve passed on have helped other families too. When someone offers you their child’s outgrown clothing to use, it’s always a good idea to clarify what they mean by “use”.

I just assumed that the rules were the same for everyone: you get a bag of clothing, use what you can and pass the rest along. Once your child outgrows the clothing, you take what is still in useable condition and pass it along again. I assumed too that all moms would understand that some outfits would get very worn, ripped or stained and that they would need to be discarded. I learned that my assumptions were not correct all the time.

When I was a single mom, I had lots of offers of help. Several people from church had offered to let me “borrow” their children’s outgrown clothing. I didn’t really fixate on the borrow word—I was struggling financially and I was glad for the clothes. Turns out it was an important thing to consider. Borrowing clothes means that the person giving you the clothing expects you to return the clothes to them when your child is done with them. It sounds easy enough, but the real world is very rarely easy.

I had several women offer to let me borrow clothing that particular year. I took them all up on their offers. However, none of them wanted the clothing marked and when my daughter outgrew the clothes, I had trouble remembering who had allowed me to borrow what piece of clothing. There were some pieces that were stained permanently and I wasn’t able to get the stains out.

One of the moms was very upset when she saw that her daughter’s favorite shirt which she wanted back now had a juice stain on the collar. Because of this experience, I found that I was following the children around making sure they didn’t get dirty. I was obsessing over stains and dirt too! I was also worrying about keeping the different borrowed clothes separate to not confuse who gave me what. I didn’t do such a great job despite my efforts either.

After a particularly stressful day, I decided that the free borrowed clothes were costing me too much in emotional energy. I returned them to their owners and thanked them for their kindness. After that, I declined offers to “borrow” clothing for free: the free clothes just “cost” me too much! I would have been better off just buying second hand clothes.

The day after Thanksgiving, Black Friday, is one of the busiest shopping days of the year. This year, with the credit crisis, the shops might be a little quieter. Or maybe not, as retailers slash prices even more than usual to attempt to get the customers in their stores and spending money.

Black Friday is also national “Buy Nothing Day“, a day organized by activism and anti-consumerism group Adbusters to raise awareness of over-consumption and to encourage shoppers to be more thoughtful about what they actually buy. Do they really need that? Is it replacing something that could be repaired? Would it be cheaper to buy it second-hand?

Are you planning to go shopping on Black Friday? Toys, and electronics are often the most heavily discounted. Expectant parents need a digital camera for baby photos – and how could even the harshest anti-consumerist argue with that?

Babies are the easiest people to buy for. Stores filled with racks and racks of the most adorable baby clothes, nursery decor, toys that promise to teach baby to count and spell and speak Spanish and learn her animals, most baby stores make it super-easy to start a baby registry, and most baby websites have a checklist of things you need to buy for your baby. And then there’s the pressure to be a yummy mummy and have the latest stroller, most fashionable baby carrier, and designer baby clothes, just like the celebrity moms.

I’m preparing to move house, and I’m looking through my son’s baby stuff. I’m marveling at how little I used some of the items we bought or received. Some of his clothes have tags still on, or are pristine and barely worn. There’s so many toys he didn’t care for.

My finances have been trashed this year – I became a single mom – so initiated by necessity, I’ve had to work out what I really, truly need to buy. So now I haven’t bought a toy for my son for months. Yes, you read that right. He’s been very happy playing with random non-toy objects and it’s so neat to watch him invent new uses for things, and it’s using my grey matter thinking up ways to reuse objects like empty food pots (train garage, frog castle, bath toy) and other things that hitherto would have gone in the trash. We were playing at being bats in a cave underneath the duvet this afternoon, then I rolled him up in it like a burrito which he thought was hilarious. Adding in getting all our books from the library, the total cost of toys = $0.

I’ve bought him winter clothes, including a couple of things from a local consignment store, and new mittens for me, and that’s about it. Looking through the barely-used baby clothes reminded me how fast they grow and to just buy what he needed, not lots of cute outfits because they were cute.

And I did get a new digital camera. Well, kinda new – it was $50 second-hand from Craigslist. Craigslist is also a great source of baby bargains. When my son was a baby I got an exersaucer for $5 and a brand new swing for $20, and a great big bagful of baby Gap clothes for $15. And in keeping with the ethics of Buy Nothing Day, buying second-hand is very green, it doesn’t use any of the planet’s resources, and it saves the items from the landfill.

Black Friday is a great day to get a discount on something you really need, and many internet stores are already discounting prices and have special offers in preparation for a Thanksgiving shopping marathon. I found my son’s new winter coat 40% off and free shipping at Amazon, much cheaper than at my local mall.

But after hearing about Buy Nothing Day, I’m also resolving to be more thoughtful about what I buy, and to consider what we actually need before I buy anything.

Are you going shopping on Black Friday? What are you looking for? Or are you going to be having a “Buy Nothing Day”?

Let me tell you why I won’t be making the effort Friday morning to go shopping.? First of all, I live in the Midwest and it’s a lot different than it was where I was raised.? On the West Coast there were some people who got excited about the day after Thanksgiving as a shopping day, but out here people get absolutely nutty about Black Friday.? They camp out with hot cocoa and tents the night before just to be the first ones through the door.

Yes, tents…outside of Wal-Mart.? Go figure.

The stores here open at five in the morning or earlier.? The customers are already lined up.? Everyone is freaking out because they can’t wait to get inside and run through the aisles, finding the best deals they can.? Last year some unfortunate shoppers got trampled in a stampede and injured.? In other words, people get entirely too involved in the shopping experience.

Now picture me, trying to navigate all this with my two kids in tow.? My daughter will stay by my side, but my son still has the propensity toward wandering off and flopping around on the ground if he doesn’t get what he wants.? It’s already a hassle to take them shopping.? Do I really want to combine that with a bunch of shoppers who are hopped up on caffeine and the thrill of a sale? No thanks.? I’ll do my shopping another day or just order everything online.

If you do go out on Black Friday then try not to get too carried away with the situation.? You should still look for?the lowest price?and you should still look through advertisements ahead of time to plan out your shopping agenda.? Just because something?has a red tag on it on Black Friday doesn’t mean it’s a good deal.

Oh, and leave the kids at home with someone else.

Do you remember shopping at Sears when you were a kid? I am dating myself now, but I remember shopping for clothes at Sears when I was a child. My mother would put our clothes on ?layaway? until she could pay off the total amount of the bill.

Layaway, for those of you who?ve never heard of it, is somewhat like a reverse credit card. When you buy items on credit, you immediately get the item, but then you must pay back the balance and a hefty fee (interest) for the privilege. Unlike credit purchases, with a layaway account, the store keeps the merchandise until you?ve paid off your account in full. The fees to open an account are minimal, either 15% of the purchase price, or around $5-$15, depending upon the laws in your state.

Several years ago, Walmart stopped layaway accounts, and it was a sad day for many frugal shoppers. I figured that the concept had died for good, kind of like rotary telephones.

While talking with a sales associate at Sears last week, I found out that on November 17, 2008, Sears and Kmart will again have layaway accounts! I was thrilled because our local store had a great sale on winter coats which began on Friday. In addition, I?d found online coupons which I could use at the store to further discount the price of the coats. Even though I didn?t have the money outright to take advantage of the sale, I could use the layaway option and get the sale price. The online coupons I?d found would more than cover the layaway fees too!

This year, many families are dealing with strained budgets, lost jobs, and limited credit. As the holiday season is fast approaching, those budgets could get even more strained. You?ll have to ?do the math? for your particular situation, but a layaway account could help you to manage your holiday expenses.

Have you ever had a layaway account? Will you be using layaway this holiday season when purchasing toys for your family?

It’s a financially tough time for many, if not all, of us. If you don’t get your local Sunday paper, it’s worth spending the $1.50 or so per week, just for the coupons. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great if you can be informed and actually read some of the paper, too, but the coupons and store circulars featuring weekly sales, can lead to big savings.

Before going grocery shopping, look over your supermarket’s circular. Ours is delivered to our mailbox each Thursday. (Circulars for other stores, including pharmacies, Kmart, Target, AC Moore, etc, are in the Sunday paper.) This week, I added some ‘Buy one, get one free’ (or BOGO) items to my shopping list and, in addition, clipped a coupon for the items. I got two boxes of frozen soft pretzels for less than the cost of one! Granted, these aren’t a necessary part of my kids diet but they love hot soft pretzels, and the only way I’ll buy them at this point is at a very reduced cost.

Also, you can pair store coupons with manufacturer’s coupons. I’ve been putting off buying an expensive moisturizer I need. This week, though, I’ll pair my ‘$3 off’ manufacturer’s coupon with an in-store coupon from Rite-Aid and save a nice little chunk of money.

If there are certain cosmetics you buy from the drug store such as mascara and lip gloss, or toiletries, such as a certain shampoo or conditioner, keep an eye out for BOGO sales and stock up. You can regularly find manufacturer’s coupons for these things and get those BOGO bargains for less than the cost of one!

Another way to save money on your grocery bill is to substitute store brands for name brands. You may not always be satisfied but it’s worth trying. I have found that for me, some things, like oatmeal, are easily substituted; I don’t ‘taste’ a difference. But when it comes to mayo, only Hellmann’s will do.

I have also switched to store branded medicines, both prescription and over the counter. Just look at the labels and the active ingredients are exactly the same!

I’m wishing I had an extra fridge or freezer to stock up on things like meats and frozen foods when they’re on sale. I plan two meals ‘in my head’ when buying ‘BOGO’ meats. If ground beef or turkey is the sale du jour, I plan to make spaghetti with meat sauce (or meatballs) one night, and tacos another night. If I’m not sure if I’ll use both packages in the near future, I freeze one.

I have yet to venture into the world of buying in bulk from places like BJ’s and Costco, but with three growing boys, I’m sure I’ll be looking into what kinds of savings I can find there (plus, larger quantities equal fewer trips to the store!). This kind of shopping may really require an extra freezer in the basement.

I’ll continue to keep an eye out for ways to be thrifty in these tough times, and always!

In a recent post, I discussed why I now let me son go trick-or-treating. If you are in agreement, then we may be in another situation together, too: there are only a few days left, and your kids don’t have a costume yet! Ah! You could go buy one, if you don’t mind spending the money. You could sew one if you are extra crafty and have the time, money, and energy to devote to it. You could make your kids go as ghosts (again). Or…you could take your cue from some of the most fun, simple costumes I’ve seen at my door:

• A Christmas present: All you need is a big cardboard box and wrapping paper!
• Cell phone: This is an updated variation of the old robot idea. But I thought it was clever.
• A pair of dice: Have two children? Find two big boxes, paint them to look like dice! Especially cute on a set of twins.
• Butterfly: This may be a little too commonplace for you, but maybe that’s because it’s so cute! Dress your child in black, cut out cardboard wings (you can paint them or decorate them with markers), wear a headband with antennae made from pipe cleaners or even cardboard. Add some face paint if you wish!
• Artist: Find an old shirt of your or daddy’s. Smudge paint on it. Cut out a little cardboard palette. Top everything with a beret. Voila! (For your little boy, add a goatee with eyeliner for fun.
• Angel: a variation of the butterfly. But this time your little girl wears white instead of black. Make cardboard wings and cover them with foil. Make a halo if you wish from foil, again.- Miss America: She can wear her dress up clothes or your old bridesmaid’s dress! Add a sash that spells out “Miss America” and a tiara.
• Laundry basket: It’s pretty much what it sounds like. An inexpensive laundry basket, with a hole cut in the middle, stuffed with clothes. Very funny to see at your door.
• Smores: I saw this one online and it made me smile. Make a sandwich board sign like you see on the side of the road. Regular cardboard is already the color of a graham cracker. Then paint the inside of one side dark brown like chocolate. Fill a white pillow case with a little newsprint and staple it inside the other “graham cracker.”
• Sumo wrestler: Your little on puts on daddy’s white sweats and stuffs them. Tie if off with a black sash and slick back their hair. Make a top knot if you can!
• Tea bag: This one requires a little bit of sewing or hot glue. Use two old white sheets, and fold them in half. Sew up the sides so they make two pockets. Fill them up about halfway with dried leaves then sew them together at the top (but leave a space for your head in the middle!) Staple a long piece of string to a tag and attach it to the top of your tea bag. Then identify what kind of tea you are!

I’ll bet you’ve seen plenty of clever, inexpensive last minute costumes yourself. Share them with us!