The Heartbreak of Weaning
I have read a lot of facts about breastfeeding. I went to a class to prepare for breastfeeding although I don’t think I really needed to. The class helped I’m sure, but Mina latched on without any problems and was a champion suckler from the beginning.
I have always planned to wean at the 1 year mark, but as I got closer to the date, I got even less firm on the date I would wean. I never thought I would enjoy nursing her so much but I have. The feeling of closeness, bonding, of giving her something that no other caregiver in her universe could, of giving her nourishment designed and formulated just for her – I thoroughly enjoy it all.
As she nears her 1 year though, I’m having doubts as to whether we’ll make it even to that momentous date. I know all the experts say that babies this age will act disinterested in nursing because they’re becoming more and more fascinated with the outside world. We’re still breastfeeding 5 times a day, but during the day I feel like I’m forcing her to nurse as she pushes me away after about literally 3 minutes. My breasts have gone down in size, matching the decreasing demand for supply, and right now, I have plugged ducts to deal with.
The physical discomfort is nothing to the emotional one though. I can’t help but feel, I hate to say this, but rejected somehow. I know it’s silly but that’s how I feel. How could I have thought in the beginning that I would be overjoyed the minute she was weaned? Just her decreasing interesting in breastfeeding, and the mere thought of weaning, is making me feel sad.
I’m going to have to consult a nursing consultant soon. I’m not sure if I should continue longer. I’m not sure if I should just expect her to nurse at night when she’s only half-awake and just let the days go. I’m not sure of anything right now. The only thing I’m sure of is I didn’t know my heart would break at the thought of weaning.
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Lauren says...
I can relate. My son started self-weaning around a year, and we lasted breastfeeding until about 13 and a half months. The weaning process was one of the hardest, saddest things I’ve ever had to deal with. I cried and cried and cried. You are not alone.
Laurens last blog post..Daily Games & Free Trials
brit says...
My son seemed to loose interest in nursing at about 10 months. He was nursing at night, and maybe twice during the day. He loved solid food, he was crawling and exploring, and there was so much to do. But then he totally got back into nursing and continued until 18 months, and weaning was pretty much a mutual agreement by then.
Melissa Haynie says...
My little one is 8 months and she is still going strong with nursing. I can totally relate though to the heartache that you must feel. I am so attached to nursing my daughter, I feel like it is OUR special time. I also planned to wean at 1 year and as that time looms nearer and nearer… I have pushed it to 18 months. So far my little one is still on the same page with me. I just hope that it stays that way.
Keirra says...
I was breastfed for five years
Get in contact with a breastfeeding councellor/professional ect, if you wish to breastfeed, most babies do not wean at the age of one on their own so maybe try to get a bit more help.It will only do your daughter good.
I now have my own son who is eleven months old, he breastfeeds about eight to ten times a day.He doesnt feed for as long as he used to and he also has solid foods now.He has bigger feeds at night time which is very normal for a baby his age.
We are doing child lead weaning/ full term weaning here
Also, look up kelly mom.com on informative information on breastfeeding toddlers.
Have a wonderful day
Yvette says...
Firstly, I applaud you for getting your little one off to a wonderful start! I wholeheartedly empathize with you. While many of us embrace the commitment to breastfeed for nutritional reasons, we are often unprepared for the phenomenal relational aspect. I could have never imagined how robust an emotional experience breastfeeding would be for my son and me and I never imagined we’d still be nursing (on demand including night-nursing). We celebrated his second birthday on the seventh of June. I am committed to a child-led weaning process. I relish the nursing sessions with my older nursling because I don’t know how soon this season will come to an end. It’s difficult to imagine our lives without nursing; it’s been such an integral part of our relationship, but I am reminded of a quote, “There’s just too much good in living to use up very much of life trying to stay where we are.”
I will add for you, however, that it’s probably less likely that at one year old (still quite young) your little one is ready to self-wean. There is much statistical evidence to substantiate this. As my son grew into toddlerhood, our nursing relationship continued to evolve and even after periods of waning interest, today he is still an avid nurser by his own volition.
I hope for both of us weaning will be a gradual and natural process that leaves both us and our babies feeling fufilled and happily equipped for the next phase of parenthood/childhood.
Best wishes!
Stacy says...
I just came across this blog and wanted to comment. I definitely understand your sadness over the weaning issue. I agree with the other comment about your baby really being quite young to already be weaning herself. I hope you ended up seeing a lactation consultant and got things figured out.
My daughter is now 13 1/2 months old and she is still nursing about 3-4 times a day. I always thought I would end nursing at a year but once the year approached I realized that my daughter was not ready to wean. The more I have read and researched nursing and weaning I have definitely realized I am going to let her self wean as I strongly feel this is the best for her. Nursing is not always easy or comfortable but as parents our babies are our priority now and ourselves come second. I wish you all the best and I truly hope your nursing relationship works out and can continue. I would love to hear an update from you. Take care!
Nicole says...
I know just how you feel. My daughter self-weaned in favor of the bottle around 6 months of age. The day that I tried to nurse her to relieve my plugged ducts and she turned away from me, I was heartbroken. I nursed her when she woke that night at 4 a.m. and haven’t since. I still miss that closeness, but what can you do?
Monica says...
Unfortunately I know how this feels. My son is only 7 months but he has decided to wean himself. All his night-time feedings were by breast but one day he just decided he didn’t want to anymore. He kept turning away and refusing it. I tried all kinds of things, even upped my supply with fenugreek and he still decided it was a no-go. I find it really weird though that he would grab onto my breasts and tell me he wanted to feed (still does) but when I’d offer them he’d just look at them and do this strange little laugh as to say “Why would I want those things”. and then a couple times he even bit me. It really saddened me. I almost felt like he didn’t like me anymore. My husband totally didn’t understand and just said it was time for him to stop obviously. Blah
Monicas last blog post..Breastfed babies may develop stronger lungs according to recent study
MrsH says...
We’re officially weaned. *Sigh.*