Why co-sleeping with baby works
According to the renowned William Sears, M.D. and Martha Sears, R.N., there is a very good argument to support co-sleeping, or sleeping with your baby.
The pair prefer the term ?shared sleep? when it comes to parents and babies sharing beds and sleep-time. They claim that teaching or training the young baby to put herself to sleep is only a tradition in the U.S., and a recently developed one at that. In most other cultures, parents share sleep with their children. Doing so can be a very healthy and natural progression from womb to mother?s breast to beside mother during sleep.
Shared sleep is much more than a shared bed; it is shared sleep cycles. Baby learns not to resent going to sleep and instead to associate it with his favorite, most comforting people in the world (and a big warm bed!).
Some important observations regarding sleep-sharing are discussed in Dr. Sears? The Baby Book. Dr. Sears quotes Dr. James McKenna, director of the Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Lab at Notre Dame. Dr. McKenna studied sleep-sharing pairs for more than a decade. His conclusions show that sleep-sharing encourages synchronized sleep cycles between parent and child. Often, when one member of the pair coughs or stirs, so does the other, often without waking. Further, each member of the pair tends to often, but not always, be in the same sleep stage for longer periods when sharing sleep.
If baby is in a separate crib, he is more likely to be in a light sleep cycle when mother is in a deep cycle, and vice-versa. It is more exhausting for a mother to be woken from a deep sleep than from a light sleep. As babies wake during the light stage of sleep, it makes sense for her sleep cycle to be in sync with her mother?s.
Dr. Sears? and Dr. McKenna ?s studies show that mothers report feeling more rested after sleeping with their babies, vs. sleeping separately. I can attest to the fact that when my baby isn?t sleeping so well, it?s much more tiring to get myself out of bed than it is to only half-awaken and roll over to comfort or feed him.
Dr. Sears points out that all young children eventually outgrow wanting to sleep with their parents, and that our children are babies for such a short time. Why not be there for them during the long, dark nights to reassure them that they are safe?
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Melissa H says...
I never thought that I would share sleep with my child. I was sure that it would spoil the child… and how the heck do you get the kid out of the bed. I knew so much before I had a baby. My daughter is 11 months old and we have been sharing sleep since week 3. My husband brought her to bed because we were exhausted. Our just for tonight hasn’t ended yet. We both love having her there and feel so much more secure with her right with us rather than in another room. She sleeps more in sync with my own habits so I very rarely feel sleep deprived. I love having her there. She cuddles up to her daddy who works during a great deal of her awake time. It has offered all of us a real opportunity to become a family. We never feel like we are shorting her on quality time. I wouldn’t go the first few months of a baby’s life any other way.
Lis Garrett says...
My youngest daughter slept with my husband and me exclusively for 2.5 years. Although she now sleeps in her own bed, she has only slept through the night twice (she’s now 3 years and 3 months). It got to the point where she grew too big for the bed, and it was more disruptive to have her kicking and thrashing than for me to get up with her during the night. I should also mention that she still wakes once during the night for a “boob.” With regards to my other two children, she has had the most difficult time with sleeping.
But it’s interesting what you reported about shared sleep cycles. I consistently wake at 3 AM, almost on the dot. A few minutes later, my daughter wakes up. This happens every single night!
Lis Garretts last blog post..New Things
tjwriter says...
We’ve been sharing sleep with our first since she was probably a month old. It was very easy to share a king sized bed with a little one when your husband works nights. Even though Daddy is now home at night, we often share the bed. It makes me feel better to know that she is safe and where I can wake up quickly if she needs me.
I’ve also noticed that during the week when we are suffering from our busy schedules, she comes to our bed more often. I think she likes to the extra chance to be close to us when we are all sleeping. She often goes to sleep with her feet in Daddy’s hand and her arms wrapped around me.
tjwriters last blog post..Home Stretch – Starting the Third Trimester