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Schedules, Stress and Babies

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Establishing a routine is one of the most difficult, yet important things you can do with an infant. Routines help infants learn to anticipate events and understand the world around them. The repetition of routines encourages memory development and helps to soothe and reassure babies.

I’ve personally found that babies with a routine tend to be happier and less stressed. With my first child, we had no routine. With her numerous handicaps and health issues, I was existing in survival mode for much of those early years and so I really didn’t think much about “working” on a routine. I just did what I needed to do next.

For most babies, they will set a routine themselves. When you bring your baby home from the hospital or birthing center, keep a record of his or her sleep and wake cycles for the first few days. More than likely, some sort of pattern will be apparent. You can begin to use this to establish a routine with your child. For example, if your son has taken a morning nap anywhere from 9 to 10am most days, perhaps try putting him down for a nap around 9:30. Eventually, you and your child will develop a routine.

I also found that if I nursed my children regularly throughout the day in 2 hour intervals, even if I had to wake the baby to feed him, I could guarantee myself at least 4 hours of undisturbed sleep at night. I express my undying gratitude to the midwife that shared that secret with me after the birth of my third child and I pass it along to you!

Since babies, especially in the early days and weeks of their life, sleep much of the time, it’s wise to develop a bedtime routine early on to help your child learn to differentiate “bedtime” from “nap time”.

For our son, I began a routine of bathing him, reading to him, and changing him into his pajamas. I talked to him constantly, even in the early days, about what I was doing. This is probably why he is such a talker now! The first few days, he screamed during bath time. Eventually, he progressed to tolerating them. Now, bath time is one of his favorite times of the day.

Although a regular routine is a great idea, the reality is that you will have days where routines just don’t work. That’s another tip I’d like to share with you—don’t worry if this happens. I’ve talked with a lot of moms who get totally stressed out if a doctor appointment, or some other unexpected event ruins their routine. Don’t get stressed, just go back to the routine as soon as you are able. You may notice that your baby is fussy for a day or so after the change, but that’s about it. While it’s great for a baby to be on a regular schedule, sooner or later, he will need to learn what all of us have learned: life is full of unexpected surprises which happen without respecting your routine or schedule!

Remember, do your best, don’t stress!

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