Parental Separation Anxiety
I’ll admit it – I have separation anxiety. It’s not that I don’t trust the family members we’ve left our daughter with. In fact, in some cases they’ve almost been in some ways more qualified to take care of her than us, or at least me.
No, my separation anxiety comes from the fact that we rarely leave her with anyone. We’re the type of parents who drag the baby with us no matter what we’re doing – to the store, to restaurants, running errands. Anywhere we have to go, she usually comes along with us. That’s not to say that we take her anywhere non-child-friendly – we never go out to fancy dinners where children are forbidden, or at least frowned upon. Our idea of a fancy dinner is anywhere we can sit down at a table and order from a menu that’s handed to us. And even then, sometimes we have to make a quick exit because our daughter starts acting up or is too tired/hungry/bored to sit still for the duration of our meal.
So this past weekend, when we left her for a grand total of three hours to go out and do some ‘adult’ things that are just plain easier and faster to do sans toddler hanging off of us (read: clothes shopping for an upcoming event we’re attending and a haircut), I felt a lot more anxiety than our daughter, who simply sat and happily played on the floor with the sitter, and couldn’t be bothered to so much as say ‘Bye!’ to us when we left. Meanwhile, I rushed through every activity we had to do, counting the minutes until we got home the whole time.
I wish now that we had gone out more without her – so that it would be easier on us all to be separated, if only for a couple of hours at a time. We’d all be better adjusted for those times when we find it necessary to leave her with someone, especially if it needed to be for more than an afternoon.
Do you (or your kids) have separation anxiety?
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Michelle Bachman says...
I am leaving my 6 month old with a sitter for the first time next week. It will be twice a week. One day for 3 1/2 hours and one day for just 2. I am worried because I nurse him to sleep and he doesnt care for the bottle. He’ll take it if hes really hungry but he will try and hold out for the real thing. I guess its a good habit to start for me now. People ask all the time if i want to get away or need a break…I want nothing more than to be with him : /