Newborn Babies: The First Few Weeks Are Harder Than You Can Possibly Imagine
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Today I was remembering - if you can you remember being in a sleep-deprived fog? - my son’s first few weeks.
I was talking with the father of a one-month-old baby yesterday. Experienced moms will recognize when I describe the facial expression of the new parent: the mix of being in shock, exhaustion, and disbelief that it’s really this hard to be a mom (or dad).
It’s impossible to communicate to first-time parents just how hard the first few weeks are. You know it’s going to be hard, but it’s always a shock that it’s this hard.
All newborn babies do is eat, sleep, refuse to sleep, pee, poop, and cry. They do all these things on a fairly random and unpredictable schedule. It’s frightening, frustrating and exhausting for parents trying to understand what’s going on.
The most important thing to remember is when your newborn cries, or will not fall asleep, it’s not a reflection on you. When your baby cries for an hour and nothing you do helps, it’s not your fault. Try not take it personally - much easier said than done - and know that it will get easier.
Yes, things will get better and life will get easier. Around 6-8 weeks, babies start to fall into a routine of sorts. And, about this time they start to genuinely respond and react to their parents. They’ll turn their heads to look at you, open their eyes wide when you sing to them, and start smiling. You will forgive them every sleepless night and three-hour crying marathon for the first smile.
Moms: what advice would you share with a brand new parent, or parent to be, for coping with the first few weeks?
Mary says...
It DOES get better, it’s okay if you’re not perfect, being frustrated doesn’t make you a bad parent, take a step back if it gets to be too much, remember to ASK FOR HELP if you need it.
There are also some states that provide colic help phone lines when you feel too overwhelmed.
Melissa H says...
It really does get better, and believe it or don’t you get to a point where you really don’t remember clearly how tough it was. We are now at a point where it is a hazy memory of near desperation. Sleep when the baby does at first. It really feels wrong to snooze away an afternoon when there are so many things to do but none of it will keep you sane, the sleep will. Also if you are a first time parent… you are going to make mistakes and guess what it is okay… there is a reason that very few people remember the first few weeks of thier lives…. my daughter would hold a lot against me if she remembered. Give yourself a break… and like the comment above says ASK FOR HELP IF YOU NEED IT. Call mom, let your husband care for the babe… it is good for everyone involved.
Science-mom says...
Sorry to repeat this again but it DOES GET BETTER. I had twins so the first few weeks after they came home was well…you can imagine it. Tips: work together as a team, it’s neither mom or dad’s fault, so arguing only makes it worse, work in shifts. Get as much help as you can - grandmas, relatives, babysitters - every help counts. Every minute of sleep you get counts.