Missing Your Partner
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Man, kids take up a lot of time. And working, and all the housework, and other family responsibilities, and the thing that often gets the worst cuts to make time for all of those is time with your partner. Do you miss your husband? Or, maybe, do you miss the way things were with your husband before you had children?
I work 60 hour weeks, have my son 90% of the time, and have a partner who has two jobs with similar amount of hours. Quality time often means sleeping in the same bed at the same time instead of me crashing several hours before him then getting up just about when he’s getting in from his second job. Parent quality time has become cooking dinner and doing the dishes together, rather than drinking beer and watching TV. I do appreciate every snatched half-hour much more than I would if we saw each other for a couple of hours every day, and I like doing dishes much more with the company. But I start to forget what he looks like sometimes. Guys often feel the same, adoring their wife and mother of their child, but missing the woman that they married.
It’s clinical but scheduling time with the one you love is sometimes the only way. Spontaneity goes out of the window when you have kids but if you can plan a date with your man, at least you have something to look for forward to. Impulsively seizing a moment with your man – calling in sick, dropping baby with grandma, and spending a couple of hours together works just as well. Plus it’s more fun to behave like you did before you had kids.
What do I love to do with my partner best? Staying in bed with a pot of tea, a heap of movies, and absolutely no reason to move for the next several hours. Alternatively, going snowboarding or rock climbing or water skiing or some other way to fall on my bum/head/get wet, adjust for season. Alternatively, going out on the town, hitting up happy hours, and having fun. I’m 90% sure that we can schedule the children to be with their other parents this Saturday afternoon and overnight, and we can go and have fun. Doing what? I haven’t scheduled that part yet. You have to have some spontaneity, right?
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