Is Motherhood Boring?
I read this article entitled “Sorry, But My Children Bore Me To Death” when it was first published back in 2006, when my son was only a couple of months old. The author talks about how she preferred to work when her children were young to avoid spending time with them, and recruited nannies to take her sons to birthday parties and other events so she could avoid other mothers talking about potty training, instead going shopping for designer clothes or having her hair highlighted.
I agree that a lot of things about motherhood are boring.
Newborns aren’t that scintillating. They don’t do a whole lot except eat, sleep and poop. I spent a lot of time holding him and stroking his sleeping head and marveling at how beautiful he was. I also spent a lot of time nursing him and I read every book in my house and OD’d on Days of our Lives and wondered if I would ever do anything exciting again.
Children and babies aren’t born understanding the concept that anyone else has emotions or needs or interests other than their own. What they are interested in is all that matters. And babies love to do the same thing over and over (and over and over and over) again. Because practice makes perfect, and they get such a kick over their accomplishments they like to repeat it. No matter how much you love your child, watching them put megabloks into a shoebox and taking them out and putting them back and… gets old quick. Luckily no-one stops you being there and keeping your baby company and talking on the phone, making a shopping list or doing some housework in the same room.
Toddlers and older kids tend to insist that you watch (mommeeeeee look at meeeeeee!) or participate, and they get cross if you do something else. Yes, you are expected to pretend to be an alien and hide behind the couch some more. And you have to admire the construction project made from random objects taped together.
And children’s events can be soul destroying for adults. Last weekend there was a free play for children, from a local theater company, all about frogs. My son loves frogs so he put on his frog rain boots and frog hat and took a plastic frog and off we went. Toddler sat at the front, and gazed at the stage, rapt. I sat on the seats with the other parents and we all would have fallen asleep if not for the zingy musical numbers and zany sound effects.
So back to the article. Do I agree with the mother who wrote it? I do think that aspects of motherhood can be dull, but overwhelmingly being a mom is a wonderful thing and I wouldn’t change it for the world.
And it does go both ways. Us parents make our children do plenty of things that they think are boring, like helping with the laundry, and sitting in the car for 30 minutes when we drive across town to run errands.
Mothers who spend the time to get to know their children (i.e. most of us) and play with them discover that they are fascinating little creatures with plenty of personality almost from when they are born, and they only get more interesting as they grow and develop. We take delight in a first smile, first coo, first step, first letter written, first trike ridden. My son is the funniest person I know. I love his surreal toddler conversations. I love the concentration he has on his lego projects. I love his random bizarre ideas for what he’s going to do next.
So some children’s activities are boring, I’m sorry, Kindermusik, your classes put me to sleep, and doing a six piece jigsaw puzzle over and over again isn’t my idea of fun, but I couldn’t imagine thinking my son was boring at all.
I feel sorry for the children in the article. What must they think when they read it? I can only imagine that when their mom is old and if she needs care herself, they’ll think she’s too boring to look after.
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Melissa H says...
Wow what a shame! I would say that the mother who wrote that article never really took the time to get to know her children. I feel like I am going to tear my hair out sometimes when she wants the same book read for the 100th time… but reading that book for her does two thing 1. The repetition helps her to recognize that those marks mean something and it is the same thing every time. 2. my daughter realizes that what she wants and needs are important. There are days that I long to do grown up things but then there are the moments when I am waiting with impatience for my daughter’s nap to get over so that we can go outside and explore. NO ONE said that motherhood would be easy, constantly stimulating, or create scintillating conversational topics. However it is easily one of the most fulfilling things I have ever done in my life. I have done a lot… but nothing NOTHING I have done creates the same glow of pride that my daughter creates in me when she uses a new word correctly or manages some feat that she couldn’t a week ago. So I feel sorry for that bored mother… not because she is bored… but because she has missed so much.