Co-sleeping: Pros and Cons
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Co-sleeping. Some parents of babies (and in a few cases, toddlers) swear by it, and others swear to never do it. Whichever side of the fence you sit, it can become a heated topic. Here are some thoughts for and against co-sleeping:
For
- babies tend to sleep more soundly when cuddled with a parent
- breastfeeding is much more convenient
- additional opportunities for family bonding
Against
- some believe co-sleeping results in children who cannot self-soothe
- parents lose privacy and intimacy
- parents sleep lees soundly because of the fear of rolling over on their child
- some children are active sleepers, making it difficult for the parents to get a good night’s sleep
- 75% of all SIDS related deaths are caused by babies sleeping face down on a soft surface (which many adult beds are, especially with the recent trend towards “pillow top” mattresses)
Personally, with our daughter, we started out with her sleeping in a cradle. Eventually she and my wife co-slept while I took refuge in the guest room, mainly due to my wife’s condition post-c-section. Once my wife was able to get herself out of bed and retrieve the baby herself, we transitioned her to her own crib. Now, it is something that happens at 5am when she wakes up and our choices are co-sleep or get up for the day.
Source: ‘Family bed’ has pluses, minuses via IndyStar.com.
What are your thoughts on co-sleeping? Did you co-sleep with your children? Did breastfeeding play a part in your decision?
You can read more SciFi Dad at Tales From The Dad Side.
Melissa H says...
Oddly I was very against co-sleeping until I came home with our little bundle… I spent a week or so of nights wishing that she would just stay asleep when she was put down. One night out of pure desperation my husband brought her to bed with us. I murmured something sleepily about how bad that was and then slept beautifully all night long with brief pauses to nurse. 10 months later we still have a bundle, albeit a larger one, in the bed and we still are happy with the arrangement. When will she move to her own bed… I have no idea, but hubby and I are getting a king size next weekend to give us all more space so I would bet it will be a bit longer.
Jessica says...
My firstborn was not cut out for co-sleeping. Even for short catnaps he always slept better on his own. His sister on the other hand sleeps much longer between mom and dad. Now that she is a year old she sleeps in her crib (in a room she shares with her big brother) until 4 or 5 in the morning when she wakes up and comes to cuddle in our bed for another hour or two each morning.
LD says...
My kids have been opposite on this one. Matt only slept when he was snuggled with us (or in his swing). So, it was co-sleeping or losing our minds. He transitioned to a crib around 18 months - pretty much when he gave up nursing. He slept a lot sounder, but it was also around the time he started daycare. I think he was so exhausted he’d sleep anywhere.
She will be fine with it.
But, from the start Chloe has been a good sleeper. She rarely sleeps in the same bed as me - just on the odd occasion we both fall asleep when she’s nursing.
I have to admit I sleep way better when my kids are not in my bed. But, she’s next to me in her bassinet. We’ve been transitioning to the crib, but I’m not ready to have her in a different room
LDs last blog post..Organized
mamatulip says...
I’ve never been against co-sleeping - I always have looked at it with the ‘whatever works’ mindset. I napped with Julia when she was young, but never slept with her through the night. She just didn’t need it - she’s always been a very independent sleeper and there was really no need.
But with Oliver, we co-slept. He slept beside my bed in the bassinette when he was a baby and when he got older he slept with me in the bed. He had some issues with bowel movements when he was a baby and he was also a very high-needs, fussy baby, and it was just easier for me to have him next to me. It meant that I could get to him sooner so nobody else was woken up. He also really seemed to need the close physical contact.
Dave says...
Our son is too fidgety to sleep with us. We did let him sleep in our bed someitimes, but it’s not comfortable for any of us.
mommyinde says...
Parents need to be very mindful in making the decision to co-sleep. I recently had a position that required me to be part of a state’s child death review team. Many of our infants who were born health but died under the age of 1 year, all died to unsafe sleeping environments. In one month we, reviewed about a half dozen sleep-related deaths- none of which were in a crib! Although SIDS have a defintion (unexplained, sudden death of an infant under 1 year and older than 1 month), it’s rather subjective in diagnosing. It depends on the coroner. Some coroners do not even use the SIDS diagnosis; instead, they use, “undetermined cause of death”. In the infants we saw in that one month, one was sleeping in a car seat in the house, on the couch with a caregiver, and the rest on the bed. These babies all showed signs of asphyxiation (suffocation). They either rolled or became entrapped in a position. Although small babies don’t roll on their own, an adult bed is so soft that when an adult rolls, the baby rolls into danger (against the mom’s thigh, underneith bedding or another person/child, etc.). As a team, many of these deaths were reviewed; enough so, that frequent recommendations to the city’s health department on a safe sleep campaign were made. Many people feel that sleep practices should be a parent’s choice, but there come’s a point when the amount of deaths reviewed demonstrated that this is a public health issue. Unforunately, these deaths are not publicized for people to know because of the controversy surrounding it.
Now, I know many mothers prefer to co-sleeping/bed-sharing because of the convience in breastfeeding. I’m a mother of 2 young children and can certainly validate the tiresome nightly feedings. It seems the easiest answer for bonding and nursing is to have our babies in bed. However, I think of the pictures of the dead babies I reviewed and remind myself- I’d rather be with my baby when she wakes than to risk the chance of her accidently suffocating without my awareness. I nursed my babes exclusively for 6 months and continued to nurse up to 2 years with baby 1 and 18 months with baby 2. If the concern is bonding, there is nothing wrong with having the baby’s crib/bassinet in the same room. I’m very close to my children and I don’t think my choice of putting them in their crib affected our emotional bond. For all the new mothers out there, PLEASE, PLEASE be mindful of your choice. I’ve seen far too many pictures of dead infants that were all preventable. Remember an adult bed was not designed for a baby’s safety in mind.