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Aww, What a Pretty Little Girl!

awwprettygirl.jpgThank you. Moms just love to get compliments about their children, don’t they?

Except that he’s a boy.

My son, almost two, is usually to be found wearing a dark blue shirt with a firetruck on the front, grey (or similar color) sweatpants, dark blue boots, and will be clutching one or more of the following: plastic snake, plastic beetle, real beetle, plastic alien, plastic pirate, stick, pebble, truck of some kind.

But he has long blond curly hair, and long blond curly hair seems to surpass all the other “boy” things about him. It’s not even that long, just below his collar. It’s never been cut, so it’s the hair he was born with. I can’t bear to cut it.

What’s wrong with long hair on boys? Plenty of adult male people have long hair, and no-one thinks they are girls, do they?

I’m not the only one, although I seem to be in a minority, especially in the Midwest. Perhaps I should move to Hollywood?

Cindy Crawford, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Julia Roberts’ sons have, or have had, long hair at one time.

Kate Hudson is quite well known for her 4-year-old son Ryder’s long hair, although she cites “religious reasons” for not cutting it.

I’m just too much of a wimp and I’ll cry if I have to chop off his baby hair.

The current plan is to get it cut if it looks like it will get caught on things, or when he asks for a haircut.

So what are your feelings on long hair for boys? Awful, or cool, or just don’t care?


Guest
Bob
7 years 2 months ago
I don’t know how i stumbled onto this page, but found these comments interesting and pretty amazing. I knew my mother wished I was a girl when I was a boy, and she would try to get me interested in girl stuff sometimes, and I rebelled against that. Boys were merciless back then about anything sissyish. I got a doll from an aunt once, undoubedly at my mother’s request, and when I got home, threw it in the trash immediately. I was embarrassed about it. I have photos of when I was very young, and I’m wearing a dress, but… Read more »
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Maria Robins
7 years 5 months ago
Dear Tara! Thanks for your letter about your lovely little boy! Yes, he seems to be such a happy boy! There is not reason why a boy shouldn?t be able to enjoy really long hair – they used to in the late 1800s without comments then!!! It was natural with both boys and girls having that! You?re so right about society just adoring beautiful girls – not boys! Actually, boys too can be beautiful (in their own way!) I must say that my son is “beautiful” and so is his best friend! If you would like to drop a line,… Read more »
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Tara
7 years 5 months ago
My son has extremely long hair, he is turning 6 and his hair is past his bum. He is constantly mistaken for a girl, even tho everything else about him screams boy. It doesn’t bother me because, yes, he is beautiful! We just casually correct whomever and whatever they say. They usually are the ones who apologize and are embarrassed. But we just tell them don’t worry about it, happens all the time. His dad has a long braid too, but he’s never mistaken. As he gets older and goes thru the changes, he will obviously be male. I am… Read more »
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Maria Robins
7 years 5 months ago
It?s so lovely with this conversation about our sons? more girly and feminine sides! My son?s never been interested in the bridesmaid thing but is otherwise very femenine in his appearance! He?s been more and more friendly with this other boy I mentioned in my earlier letter! (We can call him Alex!) They are together after school almost everyday and my boy and Alex are dressing up like little girls all the time, wearing skirts and lased, frilly bluses, girls?coats and other girly garnments! The other day, I found them combing and brushing eachother?s hair! Alex?s hair is so beautiful… Read more »
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Traci
7 years 5 months ago
Hi Gina, yes, my son definitely prefers his girly hairstyles ….. he gets mad when I make him pull it back in a regular “guys’ ponytail,” and he’d be very upset if he couldn’t curl it or wear his headbands and barrettes anymore. We do have some negative reactions and I’ve spent a lot of time telling him that people who judge other people by their appearance are small-minded, that if he’s comfortable with his looks it doesn’t matter what others think, and so on. He gets teased a certain amount at school but the teachers and the principal are… Read more »
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Gina
7 years 5 months ago

Traci,
You’re situation is very interesting…my son is kinda girly as well. His hair is about shoulder length and he wants to grow it out. I have always styled it in a rather feminine way buy now I’m afraid of what people might think if I continue to let him have his way. Two questions; 1: Does your son like to look girly?…for example, my son has his ears pierced and loves jewelry. And 2: How do you handle any negative reactions?

Guest
Ellie in Calif.
7 years 6 months ago
I’m also a stylist and I’ve seen a related phenomenon: boys coming in as bridesmaids. We’re in Northern California, near Napa, so we do a lot of wedding parties. In the last year (last 2 summers) we’ve probably had half a dozen weddings that included young boys as either bridesmaids or flower girls. We gave all of them the full makeover — hair, makeup, nails — and with one exception they all seemed enthusiastic and enjoying the process. One was especially interesting: he was about 7 and it was clear that his mother has been dressing him in girls’ things… Read more »
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Traci
7 years 6 months ago
I was so glad to find this thread — I have to admit I’m one of those Moms who love having their sons’ hair ‘done.’ He’s had long hair all his life (now 10) and he’s never asked to have it cut off. About 3 years ago he started asking if he could have curls, like his big sisters, and after some hesitation I said “Why not.” I did it on hot rollers and he loved it and I couild not believe how pretty he looked. Since then I’ve been setting it on rollers a few times a week and… Read more »
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Maria Robins
7 years 7 months ago
My son is growing his hair now and it is quite long but you can still see that he?s a boy! But, in school he has a friend who is really girly but doesn?t seem to care. According to my son he was teased in the beginning but he seemed not to care. That?s amazingly strong because we all know about group preasure. The other day, I saw this boy in school when picking up my son and I could hardly believe my eyes! I haven?t seen him for a long time now and he was not recognizable! The most… Read more »
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stephanie
7 years 7 months ago

Hi its Stephanie and my email is bakerstephanie74@yahoo.com if anyone wishes to chat or share experiences about feminine hairstyles and outfits on boys. Jenn and Judi would love hearing from you

Guest
stephanie
7 years 8 months ago
Jenn heres info on some of my boys. I did spiral curls nails and makeup on 2 16yr old boys for a school dance I pinned the curls up on one and back off the other, not sure what they were wearing. The little boy I did the roller set on sat still better than any girl his age. His mother wanted his curls pinned off his face so he could play, also polished his nails a pale pink. We have a 5 yr old boy who always has his hair curled and wears barbie ear rings he has both… Read more »
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Judi
7 years 8 months ago
Hi, My hairdresser has thre different little boys who accompany their mother to the salon quite frequently. The boys are all similar in that they are markedly feminine and have mothers that are not at all bashful about showing them off. They are very proud of their girlish boys although only one of them brings her five-year-old in a dress. (I know them personally) The other two boys are usually wearing girlish clothes but the mothers have stopped short of putting them in a complete girl’s outfit. I think all the boys look cute and I am pleased that our… Read more »
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Karen
7 years 8 months ago
Hi, I just found this thread and wanted to let you know that I am also a hairdresser for going on 10 years and have done a number of boys that were brought in by their mothers for hairstyling services. I have probably worked on at least 18 boys in my time. Most have seemed quite happy to be getting their hair done and if they seem apprehensive in the least I will refuse. I have only refused on 2 occasions. There was one boy in particular that I remember, he was about 9 years old and had long brown… Read more »
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Jennifer
7 years 8 months ago

Stephanie,

It doesn’t surprise me that you’ve seen similar things as I have, but you’re the first stylist from a salon besides my own that I’ve heard mention this. I have to admit that this trend fascinates me and I’d like to hear more about your experiences. However, I don’t want to clog up this blog on a topic that is obviously not the real purpose. If you don’t mind sharing your experience, you could email me at very.jenny@yahoo.com No big deal if you’d rather not.

Guest
stephanie
7 years 8 months ago
I’m a hairdresser and have also seen several boys come in to our salon with curls and barrettes in their hair.They are about 5 to 8 all have long hair. We polish all little girls nails for free while their mothers get their hair done this includes the boys I’m talking about at the reqest of their mothers. One mother wanted us to perm her 9 yr old sons long hair. i have done a roller set on a boy for a wedding and actually pinned his sides back off his face. Ihave curled highschol boys hair for school dances… Read more »
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Jennifer
7 years 9 months ago
Samantha, Well, I probably sounded a little more dramatic than I really intended when I said “shocking”, but there have been some eye-opening moments for me since going to work at this particular salon. Besides the hair-related things I described before, I see a lot of little boys wearing nail polish. I admit that I can’t really throw stones here b/c my 2 1/2-year old son has worn his share on his fingers and toes, much to my husband’s chagin There are also boys that come in wearing clothes that are certainly more geared towards girls. Most of the time… Read more »
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Samantah
7 years 9 months ago

I’ll probably be sorry but I’ve got to ask, Jennifer, what were the more shocking things? Inquiring minds want to know :)

Guest
Jennifer
7 years 10 months ago
Hey all. This conversation looks a little old and I just stumbled onto it, but I do have a bit to add. Jackie, when you say that little boys with “girl’s” hairstyles are happening at a much greater frequency, you’re certainly right. I’m a cosmetologist (and mom!!) and work at a salon that does a lot of children’s hair. You wouldn’t believe how common it is for little boys to come in with ‘girl’ hair. Probably the most common are high ponytails or pigtails (and yes, frequently with ribbons or bows). Barrettes and clips are also common. I also see… Read more »
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Jackie
8 years 1 day ago

You know, I’m beginning to believe things like Samantha was relating are happening with a much greater frequency than it used to. I know exactly what she’s talking about with a boy in pigtails with bows on the ends. We’ve got a mother who brings her two sons probably about 3 and 5 in like that all the time. They are absolutely indistinguishable in appearance from little girls although I will admit they act more like boys. Is anyone else seeing this sort of thing?

Guest
Samantha
8 years 2 days ago
I don’t mind long hair on little boys at all. In fact, most of the time I think it’s cute. But I work in a children’s store and we have a mom who brings in child who is about 4 1/2, I think. He has very long, beautiful blonde hair nearly to midback. I always thought he was a girl until one of the other women said something and she just smiled and corrected her. But one time he’ll have his hair just down straight, next time its in curls, and a couple of times, its been in pigtails –… Read more »
Guest
8 years 3 days ago
i have an almost-3-yr-old boy who people mistake for a girl all the time!! hes got hair about to the base of his neck and bangs too…its not like i dress him all girly or anything… “oh what a pretty little girl!” “oh, he’s a boy…hes just got girly hair” …but his hair is like sooooooo cute…its like red and blond and brown all highlights and stuff…people even ask if i color his hair… i came on the internet this time to look for a way to cut his hair so people wouldnt think he was a girl anymore…but now… Read more »
Guest
Ashley
8 years 25 days ago

My 8 month old has extremely long eyelashes and big blue eyes. Ever since he was born he has been mistaken for a girl. I totally know where you are coming from! I think Long hair is just fine as long as it’s in good taste!

Member
8 years 26 days ago
I think long, golden curls probably look gorgeous on a boy!! Remember, though, men with long hair sometimes get mistaken for women (especially from behind) as well… it’s something they live with for their choice. (But it’s more embarrassing for other people when they realize their mistake… probably a source of amusement to the men!) I’m not in your town, so I can’t say for certain, but I bet it’s not people being unaccepting of your choice–they are just unobservant. I would say something exactly like you posted in the blog, “Actually, he’s a boy. But thank you. I think… Read more »
Member
8 years 27 days ago

I don`t mind long hair on my boys. In fact, I find them cute. But their Dad does. He says they look so wild. He cuts their happy every 3 to 4 months. Then they`d look so much like real big boys that I feel like I`ve lost my babies overnight.

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