A married British couple recently found out they were twins separated at birth. When they found out the heart wrenching news, a court immediately annulled their marriage, but it hasn?t been reported yet how long the couple was married or involved. This discovery brings up issues surrounding the rights of adopted children and children conceived from donor eggs or sperm.

Many childless adults seek adoption or donors to help them become parents, but children might not learn their true origins.

The twins? sad story was revealed at a debate about human fertility and embryology law, adding to concerns raised about laws surrounding donor conception.

What is the right course of action? Parents have to consider how their child might feel if they knew they were conceived from a donor. On the other hand, traumatic situations like British couple?s might continue to happen if there isn?t full disclosure.

Adoption groups point out that today?s adoptions are much more open, and the twins are less likely to be separated now. But what about donor-conceived children? Is it fair to have the fact of their conception printed on their birth certificate (a public document)?

I think this issue brings up more questions than answers. Even if there are no adoptions or donors, many children have half-siblings they may never know about. Is it really something that government needs to get involved with? Or should it be left up to the parents?

As a single woman, I knew I wanted to have children one day, and I considered using a sperm bank. Though I didn?t choose that path to motherhood, I still know that my daughter may have siblings and cousins that neither of us will ever know about. Am I worried? Not really. There are billions of people in the world, so the likelihood she will ever marry a close relative is like finding a needle in a haystack.

What do you think? If you have an adopted child, are you concerned he may one day marry his sister? If you?ve used a donor egg or sperm, do you think it would be better for your child to know this information or not?

Our babies are incredible, and they learn so much so fast. Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to hear their thoughts, even before they can talk? Signing with your baby is one way to get a little insight into their wants and needs.

Some parents make up their own special language. While you can certainly do this, it might be difficult to remember what signs you’ve created, and you also have to come up with new ones all the time. Most parents find it easier to use American Sign Language (or the sign language from whatever country you live in).

Do you have to already know sign language? Not at all. For an infant or toddler, you can learn right along with them. You’re mostly focusing on baby friendly words and phrases. If you prefer, there are classes you can take with your baby, books you can read, and DVDs you can watch together. I recommend the book, ‘Teach your Tot to Sign,’ by Stacy Thompson.

Remember that babies have limited dexterity, so it may be tough to recognize when she’s trying to sign. Be consistent and don’t be discouraged. Some books recommend waiting until the baby is about 6 months old. But in reality, just like any language, including spoken English, you can start at any age. After all, you speak your native language to your child as soon as he is born, even though the baby can’t talk yet. There’s no need to wait if you don’t want to.

Even though you can sign as much as you’d like with your baby, it might be best to start with just a few words. Some useful first words include milk, mommy, daddy, more, all done, and bath. I started signing mostly milk to my 4 month old, and when she was 6 months old she was able to ‘ask’ for it. Not long after, she started signing mommy. I wish I’d kept track of her progress. Make sure you do.

Another reason to sign is so you can ’speak’ to your child from across the room, maybe while on the phone, or when you don’t want to embarrass her in front of other people. I also believe it helps teach concentration and observation skills. Older babies may feel less frustrated, because they can actually communicate with their caregivers. It’s a great feeling when you see their eyes light up as they realize their hand motions get the desired results.

Did you sign with your baby? What advice can you offer parents who are new to signing?

It’s difficult to find time for yourself, much less for you and your partner, once you have a baby. One fun activity you can do with a young baby is go to the movies.

Little ones tend to sleep through a lot of the show. If she gets fussy, cuddle her, nurse her, give her a bottle, or give her a pacifier. If you need to, it’s easy to duck out of the theater in hurry. Just be sure to sit near the entrance.

Ask your local theater if they have discounts for seeing more than one movie in one evening, or buy tickets for 3 or 4 movies and have a movie night. Just don’t forget to pack extra diapers and a changing pad.

What fun things have you done for yourself, even with your baby at your side?

Thirteen Ways to Make Car Trips Less Painful

Driving with your baby in the car can be a trial sometimes. Even if your baby seems to love car rides, there may come a day when there’s incessant crying or screaming.
Here are some tips to make the trips a little less bumpy.

1. Make sure your baby isn’t hungry or thirsty before going for a drive.

2. If you can’t avoid having a hungry or thirsty baby, be prepared to pull over to feed the baby, or have nourishment ready as soon as you reach your destination.

3. Equip the car seat with toys (safely attached according to the manufacturer’s directions). Change the toys frequently if you can.

4. Talk to your baby. Tell him about your day, where you’re going, or where you’ve been.

5. Sing lots of songs. Whether it’s songs you make up as you go along, children’s songs, or your favorite tunes, just sing. Don’t worry if you have a horrible voice. Your baby loves it just the same.

6. Play the radio or a CD (not too loudly). You may want to play the same CD every time, and only play it in your car, so your baby starts to look forward to riding in the car.

7. Whenever possible, have a passenger sit in the backseat with the baby.

8. Dress your baby properly for the car’s temperature. Sure, it may be freezing outside, but a snowsuit may get to warm in a long car trip. At least turn down the heat.

9. Make sure the straps are adjusted correctly. Straps that are too tight can be very uncomfortable. But follow the instructions or get the seat checked out. You don’t want to make them too loose either.

10. Touch your baby when you can. At stoplights, in parking lots, or wherever you have a chance. Touch is a powerful soothing device.

11. Keep your errands short, if possible. Taking your baby out of the car seat to go on errand adventures helps break up the monotony.

12. Put a clean diaper on the baby before you get in the car.

13. Use a sun shield on the back and side windows. Sun in the eyes can make for an unhappy baby.

What tips do you have for pleasant car trips?

When I was pregnant, I heard you should never sleep with your baby. You might roll on her, she might get wedged between the wall and the mattress, she might suffocate, or die from SIDS. So I did my homework. Attachment Parenting International offers some guidelines for safe co-sleeping. Around the world, co-sleeping is the norm, and research shows that SIDS is lower in babies that co-sleep with their parents. Unless you have a medical condition or take substances that cause you to be extra-drowsy, most mothers don’t roll onto their baby. In cribs, SIDS is more likely, they can fail and your child may not receive the psychological boost that co-sleeping can provide.
In other words, co-sleeping isn’t inherently dangerous, just as cribs aren’t inherently safe.

I knew I was going to breastfeed, and that co-sleeping is a great way to make breastfeeding go more smoothly. Babies that are exclusively breastfed generally wake up several times during the night. Co-sleeping allows you to feed your baby without either of you fully waking up (though nursing while lying down is a learned skill).

Before my daughter was born, I decided to use a co-sleeper that attaches to the bed. But as soon as I met my little one, I knew I couldn’t have her even that far away. I also tried a special mat you place in your bed with you, with raised sides so you can’t roll on your baby (unless you can roll over 3-inch stiff barriers). The only problem with that was I had to pull my baby out of the contraption, since I also couldn’t lean over into it for more than a few minutes. (My daughter nursed for 30 to 45 minutes at a time, several times a night in the beginning.)

Finally, I realized that millions of women, and our ancestors, couldn’t be wrong. I put my daughter next to me, and things were fine. I just placed her on a receiving blanket, with a receiving blanket roll wedged under her (so she couldn’t roll). I put my sheet or blanket under her (so she couldn’t wind up under them and suffocate) and everything was perfect.

What do I love about co-sleeping? I feel like I’m still protecting my daughter. If her breathing isn’t right, I’ll be able to hear her immediately. I found that I never slept very deeply, and that our sleep cycles seemed to match each other’s after a while. Whenever she was hungry, I was always able to tend to her before she started to fully cry. After practicing for months, I learned how to barely wake up during the process, though I was always naturally aware of my baby and my position.

Mothering doesn’t end when the sun goes down. Co-sleeping allows me to mother and nurture all night long. We touch and we feel each other breathe. I notice my daughter sometimes wake up, take a look at me, and smile before drifting back to sleep.

At two-and-a-half, she still sleeps with me. I’m not sure how long this will last, considering I am sometimes woken up by a kick in the head from her feet, and I would really like to have my bed to myself one day. But when I’m not in bed with her, she wakes up screaming sometimes. That’s never happened when I was next to her, or at least I could soothe her instantly.

My advice? Do your own research and follow your heart.

Did you co-sleep? How did you make your decision, and how did it affect your family life?

Resources: Attachment Parenting International; Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Laboratory; La Leche League International article on co-sleeping

A two-year-old girl was being supervised during church, and found a screwdriver. I can?t tell you how many times my daughter has held a screwdriver, or even walked with one. She likes to ?help? me fix things, or go around the house ?fixing? things she finds.
This little girl did what two-year-olds do. She started running. With the screwdriver in her hand. And, like two-year-olds also do, she fell. The screwdriver entered her skull right above her left eye.

Miraculously, it missed her eye, and didn?t enter her brain. She didn?t even need surgery. After a four-hour extraction, she?s left with only some bruising. This could easily have been a horrible tragedy.

Parents are so careful, and we think we ?know? our little ones. This story really hit home for me, because my daughter likes to play with items that are potentially dangerous. I want her to learn as much as possible, so I let her experience new things all of the time. But now I realize that this simple curiosity has to be managed extremely carefully.

The lesson? Children do unexpected things. One day they?re safely sitting while holding a new object. The next day they?ve decided to swallow it or run with it.

I?m going to be a lot more careful with potentially dangerous objects now that I have a curious, fast toddler on my hands. Thank goodness this little girl is okay.

Wash your baby wipes

Baby wipes can be very expensive, as parents know all too well. You can always use cloth wipes, but if you prefer to use disposable, there is a way to stretch your wipes budget.
The brand I use is Kirkland?s, from CostCo. They?re unscented, amply sized, and moistened just right. Other brands may work also, but buying them in bulk is an added way to save money.

I?ve found that these wipes can be washed and reused repeatedly. That?s right. You wipe your baby?s bottom, toss the wipe in the washing machine with your regular clothes, put everything in the dryer, and start all over again. You should be able to wash and dry the wipes about 2 or 3 times before they finally need to be thrown out.

Besides using the wipes for diaper changes, they?re great as baby washcloths, rags, tissues (when they?re dry or wet), and more. I use them to wipe up spills, clean up grubby hands, and wipe little faces. If I had to throw them out each time, I would be super concerned whenever I used them for some little task. But knowing I can reuse them makes me feel at ease.

Be creative. You won?t feel bad about using one for a little task. Even better, when you turn your back for a second and realize that baby?s pulled every wipe out of the package, you won?t even blink an eye.

When I first started venturing out of the house after having my daughter, I saw mothers carrying their babies in slings.

They told me, ‘It’s so much easier than lugging around a heavy car seat.’

‘You don’t even need a stroller.’

I wasn’t convinced. I strapped my daughter into her car seat before we got into the car, and let her stay in it when we moved about town. I struggled to carry it, or I put the whole thing in a bulky stroller.

But I always felt I should be touching or holding her most of the time. At home, I never put her down unless it was absolutely necessary. And something about strollers made her seem so far away.

When she was about 8 months old, I finally checked out slings. I brought my baby with me to the store, and a nice saleslady helped us try it on. I was sold. I read online instructions about how to use it properly, and we were on our way.

Front carriers, where the baby’s legs dangle, made my daughter cry. Some people say that these types of carriers exert pressure on the baby’s developing spine. All I know is my baby hated it.

But she loved the sling, and so did I. My hands were free to type, put away dishes, and other household things. It was great for walks and shopping. Strollers always seemed to be in the way, and I had to be careful not to take my eyes off of her. In the sling, she went where I went. I really wish I’d had it from day one.

I used it well beyond her first year, and we occasionally use it even at two and a half. For older children, it takes the load off of your arm, even though they’re on your side. I never figured out how to carry her on my back, but I can’t wait.

Did you carry your baby in a sling? We’d love to know your experiences. Let us know!

Teething in babies can be a real pain, for both the baby and the parent. But once those pearly whites are in, the “fun” isn’t over.

Babies and toddlers need to have their teeth brushed regularly, and should see a dentist before their first year.

Many people think that worrying about brushing isn’t important since the baby teeth will fall out anyway. But most children don’t lose all of their teeth until they’re older than 10 years old. Having decayed teeth will not be a pleasant experience for your school-aged child. Also, baby teeth are important for maintaining proper spacing for permanent teeth.

If tooth decay (also called dental caries) sets in, the teeth may eventually need to be pulled (not to mention the pain that having severe decay will cause). The pain and trauma of tooth decay and extraction is far worse than daily brushing.

What if your child does get tooth decay, despite your best efforts?

First, don’t beat yourself up. Parents have so much going on, and we all do our best. Furthermore, some tooth decay is due to problems in the womb, like taking antibiotics (which may be necessary sometimes). Some people are genetically predisposed to tooth decay. Processed foods, which the majority of us eat, may be the culprit also. In studies of other mammals, tooth decay becomes a problem only when the animals are fed human-altered foods.

Whatever the cause, if you notice holes in your baby’s teeth, get him to a dentist. Before doing anything drastic, it may be necessary to get a second opinion. Don’t be afraid to do this. Early and frequent checkups will help catch problems, hopefully before they begin.

For more information about baby tooth decay, check out the following resource:

http://www.brianpalmerdds.com/caries.htm

The information contained on this site is for educational purposes only and is not meant for diagnosis or treatment. Any information found on this site should be discussed with a health care professional. Use of this information should be done in accordance with the health care plan outlined by your health care professional. For specific professional or medical advice, diagnosis, and treatment, consult your doctor or health care professional.

As a newly pregnant woman, you’ve no doubt heard from plenty of other women that you can’t “take anything” when you’re pregnant.

So when you get congested, have a cold, or indigestion, you probably figure you have to just deal with it. Even worse, if you feel exceptionally sad or anxious, you may feel that there’s just nothing you can do.

Well, your friends are both right and wrong. As pregnant women, in any trimester, what we take during pregnancy may affect our babies. But there are medications that doctors have determined are safe. And there are some medications that, though not the best for baby, will make for a happier, more sane mother.

The point is that you need to tell your doctor how you’re feeling. Don’t suffer in silence. Your doctor may indeed say there’s nothing that can be done, but you may find out there are some treatments that can safely help.

When I was pregnant, I was extremely congested. To top it all off, I got a cold. The congestion became unbearable, and no “natural” remedy worked. I suffered in silence, until the inability to breathe through my nose drove me crazy. Literally.

I drove myself to the pyschiatric ER, and they finally gave me something to help me breathe. My options? I would probably have had more severe panic attacks and possibly harmed myself and the baby, or they could prescribe me something to help me breathe. The choice was obvious.

Don’t let it get that bad.

Don’t assume your problem is nothing major, and don’t assume you have to be miserable just because you’re pregnant. If you’re having extreme sadness or anxiety, don’t assume it’s just all in your head.

Tell your doctor whatever ails you.

Ask for help if you think you need it. And change doctors if you’re not getting the help you need. You are the vessel for your baby. If you aren’t as comfortable as is safely possible, you and your baby may suffer.

Being a new mother means having a million new thoughts in your head. So it’s no surprise that things go missing, or that keys get misplaced.

When my daughter was a few weeks old, I locked the keys in the car when we got home. Luckily, my daughter wasn’t inside the car too, but it was pouring down rain. Not a fun situation.

Ever since then, my paranoia about a repeat offense has given me some ideas. Have they worked? Knock on wood, but I haven’t locked my keys in the car since that day.

When your child is in the backseat (where they should always be), you have to get out of the driver’s seat, go into the back, unhook the car seat or harness, and retrieve your child. Sounds simple, right? So what do you do with the keys in the meantime?

Here are a few things you shouldn’t do with your keys.

Don’t put them in your pocket, because they may fall out. Don’t put them in the baby’s car seat, just in case you stop the exiting process, closing the door with both the baby and the keys inside. Don’t lay them on the seat (you’ll forget them). And don’t leave them in the ignition. You don’t want to leave the car running with the baby locked inside, and you make it easy for a carjacker.

So here are some ideas that may work.

Get a wrist attachment for your keys. When you take them out of the ignition, put it on your wrist for safe keeping. Or attach it to the loops on your pants with a belt clip.

If you’re very attached to your purse, immediately put the keys in your purse, keeping it on you during the exiting process.

If your baby is in a forward-facing seat, reach back to unhook the harness. That’s one less step you have to deal with when you climb in the backseat.

Whenever you’re about to close the car door, put your keys in your hand before you close it. Better yet, lock your door with the keys after you close the door (not before).

If all else fails, be sure you have a cellphone with you to call for help. A relative or neighbor should always have a spare key to your car, and you need to be able to reach them. Of course, having a cellphone is essential for calling an emergency service if the unthinkable happens.

Good luck!

After you give birth, your body sort of goes through a period, called lochia. This normal postpartum bleeding can be heavy at first, and should taper off each day.

The hospital provides heavy-duty sanitary pads, but you may consider buying an alternative while you’re in your third trimester.

Cloth sanitary pads can absorb better than disposable, and are more comfortable. And you’ll be helping the environment too. When your regular periods return, you can use cloth pads over and over again.

The brand I prefer is made by Mother of Eden. But shop around to see which brands work well for postpartum bleeding. I have pretty heavy periods, and I used to deal with the occasional leaks from disposable pads.

I love the feel of these modern cloth pads, I love saving money, and I love doing my share to help the environment.

If you’ve used cloth pads for normal postpartum bleeding, share with us how it worked for you.