I need baby sleep advice!
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The baby is sleeping. That’s good. A couple of days ago, she decided that napping was for the birds. She logged about half an hour in total naptime between 9 am and 9 pm. It was a long day. We thought she might sleep extra long that night since she was so exhausted, but no luck. She did pretty well yesterday, but that brings me to my question. I need some wise advice.
Several weeks ago I reported happily that swaddling was working. When she was about 2½ months old, she would consistently sleep from roughly 9:30 pm to 5:00 am. That lasted almost a month.
Then she started waking up at 2:30 am. I was determined NOT to feed her (because she obviously hadn’t needed it before and I didn’t want her to start waking up for a little snuggle and snack). For two nights, I got out of bed, put a pacifier in her mouth, and she’d sleep for another 20-30 minutes until she popped the binky out and woke up again. I wanted her to hold out to eat until 5:00, so this was an exhausting ritual. A combination of advice and logic told me we needed to lose that pacifier. So I quit letting her take it to bed. And things were good for a week or so (minus a few random days). She had her four month check up and I reported that things were good at night, so I missed my opportunity to get the doctor’s input. Because within a couple of days, she quit sleeping again.
For the last few weeks, the child just won’t sleep. She cuts her naps short, she stirs about an hour after being put to bed at night, and the she wakes up around 3:00-4:00, and won’t settle back down, really. During the day, she still goes at least four hours between nursings, so it’s not like she’s in a growth spurt and just wants to eat.
My husband has moved into my son’s trundle bed, since he has to go to work at 6:45. I have no brain power to do much, especially writing. So instead of offering up information to you today, I can only offer this question:
What in the world is wrong? She’s goes to sleep on her own, for the most part. She doesn’t take a pacifier to go to sleep. She used to be able to sleep all night.
My son didn’t sleep through the night until he was 9 months old. So I just accepted that. I was much younger, though. But I can’t believe I’m the only one out there with a baby that quit sleeping. What did you do? Help me (and the other struggling moms)!
In exchange, when I get my mind cleared in a few days, I’ll tell you about the best advice I received for daily life with baby #2.
Kimberly says...
My 4 month old son has really NEVER slept through the night. When he was new he woke up almost EXACTLY every 2 or 2 1/2 hours to eat. He’s entirely breastfed and he was 10 lb. 4 oz when born. Our ped. said not to worry about it, that some babies like to sleep all night and others like to wake up for eating. She encouraged us to feed him when he woke up and said there would be time for weaning later. I followed that advice and haven’t tried to wean him at all. About 3 or 4 weeks ago, he started sleeping from about 9 or 10pm until about 3 or 4am. This, to me, after all we’ve been through seems like a good long sleep. When he wakes up at 3 or 4 I nurse him and put him back to bed (he sleeps in his crib) and he sleeps until around 5 or 6 when I usually go get him and bring him to our bed for a last hour or so.
But all that being said, every once in a while he’ll have an off night where he wakes up much more often. I just deal because I still don’t know if we should be trying to wean yet. (We have our 4 month appt. in a week or so.)
His daytime napping is all over the place. One day he’ll take a perfect 2 hour nap from 11am to 1pm, the next day he’ll take 15 minute catnaps throughout the day and then take a biggie from like 4 to 5pm or something. I’m trying to coax him into a better napping schedule, but so far no luck.
So I don’t think I have advice for you except to say that my friend has an 8 month old who she says is also still waking up at night either to eat or just needing assistance getting back to sleep. The one thing I do and my friend says she does, too, is to not talk to or play with the baby when they wake up at night. I even limit eye contact with my son. I just pick him up, feed him if he needs it, and then put him back to bed either sleepy or sometimes totally asleep if he fell asleep nursing.
Sorry I don’t have more help, but I thought a story of someone going through something similar might at least help you feel better!
Best wishes!!!!!
Jessica says...
I am not an expert by any stretch of the imagination, but my second child gave me so much trouble. The first two months were torture! The next two after that only mildly better. So on and so fourth. I tried swaddling, feeding, pacifiers, car drives, and co- sleeping. None of those alone seemed to make things better. Finally we settled on co-sleeping, a bottle in the middle of the night, and the pacifier. I might add that none of things made me a happy or proud as a parent, but I have another child that is only 13 months older, so not sleeping at all wasn’t an option for me. At about nine months I finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel. Slowly, I started to wean her from all the bad habits. Only the pacifier remains at a year old and I take it out of her mouth once she is asleep (it often it falls out before I get to it). She is has been sleeping through most nights in her crib for a few months now. I guess what I learned is that every child is very different, and sometimes maybe we have to be willing to change what we “think” is acceptable for them for a little bit. When they are so young it is pretty easy to get them to break bad habits, so if you use some of the things that professionals tell us not to in order to get them to do something that in the long run is better for everyone like sleeping, it might not be so bad. It might make a little bit more work, in smaller doses later, by having to wean them from yet another thing, but if they need the extra attention (cuddle time/co-sleeping) or the extra comfort sucking (pacifier or bottle) or whatever the case may be why would you want them to feel deprived of that?
Just to add a little not so funny humor. As soon as my youngest started sleeping through the night my oldest (13 months older) started waking up 3-4 times a night. Turns out she was getting her two year molars!!!
Lindsey@A Kindred Spirit's Thoughts says...
My daughter (my first) did that to me… and is still doing it. lol Everytime I think I’m getting used to her patterns she changes it. She’s almost four months now. About a month ago she was sleeping all night and much of the day until about 4 p.m. Suddenly she was waking up at about 2 a.m. again. Sometimes I could put the pacifier in her mouth and she’d go to sleep for the rest of the night and sometimes she would be crying again at 3 a.m. so I’d go ahead and feed her. I don’t think I’m smart enough to be giving advice, but I fed her when she needed it and then she started going back to sleep through the night again on her own.
Who knows what is coming up around the corner, though? lol
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Melissa H says...
My little one is 10 months and there is only a loose sleep “pattern” even still. She still wakes up in the middle of the night to nurse and I am fine with that because I co-sleep with her. That makes it much easier on me. We don’t talk or play in the middle of the night for feeding we simply nurse and snuggle back down for sleep. I would say though if your little one is getting up pretty consistently in the middle of the night I would go ahead and nurse or feed her. Imagine how tiny that little tummy is and how little it holds. Nap time for us was rocky until about 5 months and then it sort of smoothed out. We still have hiccups every now and then, but I have found that flexibility works best for my little one. I try to put her down when she is just starting to get tired, rather than wait until she is so tired that she can barely stand herself. It works better that way. I also go by the two hour rule. It pretty much hits dead on. She is up for two hours and then she needs to go down, and then in the evening she is up a bit longer ( 31/2- 4) Still we always have problems when the teeth are coming in…. BABY TYLENOL is our answer if the fussing just won’t stop. Sometimes those little teeth hurt!!!
Nerida says...
There is nothing unusual about your baby waking and needing a feed at least 1 or 2 (or even 3) times during the night. All babies go through different individual phases. One week they may be able to sleep most of the night, the next week their day time naps may be longer, the week after that they may be waking and grumpy all the time.
The ‘patterns’ change so regularly, please don’t expect the bits that you enjoy to be the norm and become unhappy when they change again. It puts an awful lot of pressure and unhappiness on you.
What you could do is take a look at your nap and bedtime routines. Make sure you are keeping to pretty much the same times, with bedtime at around 7pm or 8pm. You could also try sneaking in a ‘top up’ feed at about 10pm. It may help her to sleep through to 4am when you could feed her again and hope to have some more sleep until it’s time for your husband to get up.
Take heart from the fact that it won’t last forever. You are doing a fantastic job. Don’t stress and TAKE A NAP when your daughter does.
Sara Kane says...
I am going through a VERY similar problem. We’ve been following Babywise for the most part. I was so proud when my daughter slept through the night at 6 weeks old! Haha, now she’s over 4 months old and waking 2 or 3 times. I guess I shouldn’t have been so quick to brag! I try not to feed her because I don’t want to establish a new feeding routine where she eats at night, but it’s really hard when she gets so worked up. I have no advice to offer, obviously, but just thought you might be encouraged that someone else is in the exact same boat.
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