The Heartbreak of Weaning Part II
A few weeks ago, I wrote about how hard it was contemplating weaning my nearly one year old daughter from nursing. Before the birth of my daughter, I planned to nurse for six months only. I was worried about the shape of my breasts, if it would sag with extended weaning, shallow stuff really. I never knew I would find nursing so fulfilling. Only moms can understand what I mean I think.
Anyway, a lot of you wrote kind words telling me to keep it up, and saying that at this age, a baby really isn’t ready to wean yet. This was echoed by my lactation consultant, and by other moms I talked to. I felt relieved, and made the decision to let my daughter self-wean from then on.
Until this past week’s resurfacing doubts. Mina has started to refuse to nurse by turning her head away, crawling away, and worse, biting down. The ouch is from the bite and the emotional rejection I’m feeling. Still, I continued to offer her the option of nursing during the daytime, even with the rejection. I figured, one of these days, she’ll take it.
Just a few minutes ago, I offered her an evening nip right before bed time. Lying next to me, with her blankie wrapped in her arm, she looks at my breast, looks up at me and very simply said, “No“.
I don’t think she can get any clearer than that.
Sigh.
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Melissa H says...
Hugs MrsH I know that has to hurt… but it sounds to me like you have an independant minded little girl there who knows what she wants. That is a legacy to be proud of.
Multi-Tasking Mommy says...
Oh, I feel your pain, I truly do!
My daughter started to self wean at 12 months as well. It was a very emotional and difficult process for me. I actually started to suffer from mild depression.
Following your daughter’s lead, in my opinion, is the best way to do it. It can still be very difficult on you emotionally, but at least you know that she was the one that initiated it! Remember though, babies can be fickle, so you have to decide how you want to approach weaning. Although she is showing you NO today doesn’t mean she will tomorrow and this can be very difficult.
As an aside…my hubby fell down the stairs the first night that I said I wasn’t going to breastfeed my daughter during the night. He was carrying my daughter to get a bottle at 4am, they fell down the stairs–she was fine and he broke his ankle. Having to care for him snapped me out the depression pretty quick
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Science-mom says...
Kudos, T, for managing to breastfeed for so long. That’s quite an achievement especially since you were working during the first couple of months.
cleanlivinglady says...
Mrs. H,
I understand completely, my 11 month old has been self weaning and to my horror prefers formula to breast milk now. I thought I would be ready to wean at a year, but now that I have been doing it, I don’t want to let go, but since he is leading the way, I have to follow. Sigh….
RubyBee says...
I’m glad you took the time to post this blog, I can relate so much to your attachment with your daughter. I’ve been nursing my son for 8 months now, I plan to keep it up until his first birthday. It builds such a strong bond, I never could have imagined it! And yes, I also dreaded what would become of my breasts, but now I just want to be there for him as much as I can.
The closeness there is between you and your baby is hard to duplicate, but just keep in mind it’s not a sign of personal rejection, it’s a sign of your daughter’s growing independence, so hooray for her!
Unfortunately for me, I need to start getting my son use to taking the bottle since I’ll be going back to work. This is a nightmare though because he refuses the breastmilk from a bottle, when I leave him for a few hours to be babysat, he simply won’t eat… I’m not sure what’ll I’ll do,