A Young Grandma
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Well, it’s finally happened. I’ve stumbled upon my very first same-age friend to become a grandma, and I’m not quite sure what I think about it.
In other words, there is a woman the same age as me who has a grandchild.
Now I know I’m no spring chicken, but I didn’t have my babies too incredibly late in life. I haven’t even reached the point of AMA (Advanced Maternal Age), yet here is my friend from high school who is a grandmother. Granted, she had some special circumstances. She had her first baby when she was sixteen, and then her daughter turned around and had a baby at eighteen and viola! A grandmother at age 34. Yikes.
I haven’t worked up the nerve to ask her what it’s like to know that her daughter followed a similar pattern, and if this is something she had hoped to avoid. I bet she wonders how I can stand chasing two little kids around while her children are on their way out of the house. We’re of the same age, but we’re not living in the same world, essentially.
I’m glad I waited to have kids. I’m glad that by the time my kids even think about having their own children I’ll probably have given up trying to hide gray hairs. Then again, I wonder if my friend is glad she had children so young so now she can go out and start a whole new life…as a grandmother.
Jessdel says...
Statistically women who were teenage mothers have a higher chance of their daughters becoming teenage mothers as well.
Like you most of my friends are now becoming grandparents or are preparing to send their children off to college. I too waited late to start my family and have absolutely no regrets.
Life is what it is.
Science-mom says...
I, too, had a late start. I got pregnant for the first time while my childhood friends are sending off their kids to college. I guess the advantage of being a young grandma is that you^ll be spending more time with your grandchildren, will have more energy to play with them.
Lori says...
I don’t think you need to work up the nerve to ask any of these questions of your “friend”. She must not be a good friend, because if she really was a good friend, you would already know how she feels about becoming a grandma at 34…you would know the pain she has gone through, the guilt, all that is involved when one of your children choose to do something that you had most likely tried to avoid from happening. You would know that she is proud of her daughter non the less and proud to be grandma to this precious child. Do you honestly think anyone that has made this “mistake” of young pregnancy or young parenting themselves, turns around and hopes for this for their own young daughters?
I don’t mean to sound harsh here but as a young grandma myself(at 36)I need to speak up on behalf of this friend of yours and all other young grandparents out here. You have no idea the pain we go through…you have no idea what it means for our lives when the people around us don’t understand and yet we are still mothers and we support and love our children even when they make mistakes.
I stood behind my daughter with love and support when she gave birth her junior year of high school. People judged me for that…for having a daughter that made that “kind” of mistake. My daughter still graduated at the top of her class and went to college and did it in 3 years while graduating at the top of her class once again. She is in her 6th year of teaching 2nd grade, is a great mother and a wonderful giving human being.
Please don’t ask your friend about something that has already happened and done with. If anything say something kind to her. There are benifits to being a young mom and young grandma just as you have benifits of being older.
Loris last blog post..Boarding the potty train
Dawn says...
I wanted to send a thank you to Lori. I am 36 and my 20 year old daughter gave birth on Wednesday to a beautiful baby girl.
It is nice to know there are other woman out there who are experiencing this phase of life so early without a lot of support or advice. We’re pretty much winging it when a lot of women our age are still having babies. Offering love and support is pretty much all we can do.
It’s nice to know there are others who can relate to this wonderful and yet difficult life change.