Make Your Minds Up, Doctors… Coffee: It’s Evil Again.

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There’s been much fuss lately over whether coffee is safe to drink during pregnancy. A summary of the current research: it’s probably safe in moderation, but don’t drink 47 cokes or ten gallons of coffee a day if pregnant.

However, doctors in the Netherlands have discovered the drinking coffee before you get pregnant may be harming your chances of conceiving. Wannabe moms who drank more than four cups of coffee a day had a 26% lower chance of conceiving naturally. Compare that to the damaging effects of smoking - reducing chances by 44%, of being overweight - reducing changes of conceiving by 29%, or drinking alcohol more than three times a week - 26% less likely to conceive.

Doctors already knew that being overweight, smoking and drinking all affect fertility, but are surprised that caffeine has comparable effects.

Conversely, fathers-to-be might benefit by drinking coffee. Men with drowsy sperm can wake them up with a cup of joe, which seems to increase sperm mobility i.e. bettering the chances of the little wiggly things getting to the egg, instead of giving up or getting a bit tired and needing to sit down and then forgetting what they are supposed to do on the way.

Random caffeine fact: spiders can’t spin a web after imbibing caffeine. They get all frantic and confused, and make something that looks like toddler art rather than a web. Spiders high on marijuana or LSD did a better job than the ones who’d drunk lattes. NASA did this research. Aren’t you glad your tax dollars are spent so wisely? (And no, my toddler isn’t on drugs.)

So for those trying to get pregnant, when you brew up a cup of coffee or find a fridge pack of Pepsi has found it’s way into your shopping cart (sneaky little things, those fridge packs) give it to your man, and hopefully it will benefit you both. And you’ll fill up the favor bank for exchanging for foot-rubs and back massages when you do get pregnant.

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