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It took me a while to get pregnant with my first baby. My husband and I tried for almost a year, and this came as a huge surprise to us since we’re used to working hard for something and then getting it. We were left scratching our heads, befuddled that month after month our efforts resulted in no pregnancy.

The worst was when I would feel menstrual cramps coming on. Each month I would convince myself that I was pregnant, and then each month I would feel the familiar cramping and immediately feel like a failure. We had gone into this venture as educated as we possibly could. I was already on prenatal vitamins, we’d had the preconception appointment with our doctor, we’d read several pregnancy books cover to cover…heck, I had even given up coffee so that caffeine wouldn’t harm the baby I was sure I would be pregnant with any day. Having made all these changes, yet seeing no results, was incredibly frustrating. The thing I hated most was the smarmy comment most people gave: “Well, at least you can have fun trying, chuckle-chuckle-chuckle.” No, it wasn’t fun. I began to detest the process because we kept failing.

I did eventually get pregnant, and then my second pregnancy happened so quickly that we joke that I became pregnant the instant my husband walked off the plane returning from Iraq. I’m glad that my pregnancies turned out the way they did, however, because my kids are ridiculously clever and I adore them more than I adore chocolate (that’s a lot of adoration, by the way). If they hadn’t come along when they had, maybe they wouldn’t be the same kids. It was worth the wait.

If you’re trying to conceive, cut yourself some slack. You probably want a baby more than anything in the world, and maybe even the sight of a mother carrying a child makes you burst into tears. Know that you’re not alone! More women than you realize are going through the same feelings you are. When the time comes for your pregnancy to finally happen you’ll quickly forget about how frustrating it is to try unsuccessfully to conceive, and all you’ll think about is how you can’t wait to hold your baby in your arms…or, if you’re like me, all you’ll think about is how you can’t wait for morning sickness to pass.

Tags: getting pregnant, trying to conceive, TTC